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Telling children about their genetic origin
Most experts recommend telling children the nature of their genetic origin, such as if they were born from donor eggs or sperm. The fact that a child isn't genetically related to one or both parents is medical information that may be important later, and waiting to tell a child until his or her late teens may make the child feel betrayed. While it used to be more common to keep assisted reproductive technology secret, more parents are open with their children now.
It is best to tell the child bits of information at teachable moments--starting with mentioning that mom had a hard time getting pregnant and a team of medical people helped (while, of course, telling the child how happy his parents were when he was born). A good time to tell the child about the donor might be before a vacation so the child can ask questions during a relaxed time, rather than trying to process it when parents are running off to work.
It's probably a good idea to refer to the donor as a donor rather than a genetic mother or genetic father, which can be confusing. Usually children end up taking this kind of information in stride; it's the parents who are relieved to be able to be open and honest.
On the other hand, some people may decide never to tell the child or anyone that a donor was involved. The most important thing is to act with the child's best interests in mind. Some families plan never to disclose the information.
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