If you are a partner of a patient, you need to realize the importance of expressing tenderness and affection frequently. The best cancer treatment that you can provide is "hug treatment." Love and affection will reduce the feelings of "aloneness" and fear that most cancer patients have while going through cancer treatment. Some research scientists believe that hugging boosts the immune system and may contribute to good health.

So that your partner understands your expectations, it is important for him or her to know that a hug may be "just a hug" and not a request for sex. Enjoy touch for its own sake, even though it may not be sexual or an invitation to engage in sexual activity.

Conversation starters:

• I haven't held your hand during a movie in a long time. How about if we go (or rent) a movie, so that I can hold your hand?
• I know you feel alone, but so do I. Can we talk?
• I don't always know where to touch you to make you feel good, but if you show me, then I'll feel less nervous.
• How about a hug?
• I feel a little unsure about our physical relationship because I'm worried about hurting you. Would it be OK if we talked to the doctor together at your next appointment? I think that would help me feel more comfortable.
• I know you don't have much energy today. Is there anything I can do for you?
• This is a difficult time for both of us, but I love you just as much now as I ever have. What could we do together to help us feel better?
• You are just as sexy to me today as you ever have been.