Depression

Overview

Depression can make someone feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. And those feelings and thoughts can feed on themselves, making a depressed person feel like giving up. It is important to realize, however, that negative thoughts and feelings are symptoms of the illness and typically do not reflect the actual circumstances of life. Indeed, this kind of debilitating thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect, but there are things you can do during this time to help manage depression.

• Set realistic goals, and assume a reasonable, but not excessive, amount of responsibility.
• Break large tasks into smaller ones, and set priorities. Do what you can in the way that is most comfortable.
• Try to reach out to others instead of isolating yourself and being secretive about your condition.
• Participate in activities that make you feel better.
• Consider going to a movie or ballgame or participating in religious, social, or other activities. Mild exercise also may help.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
• Don't make important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to sell a house, end a relationship, get married, or change a job, discuss it with others who know you well and may have a more objective view of your situation.
• Remember that people rarely "snap out" of a depression. But they can feel a little better day by day. Positive thinking will replace negative thinking as your depression responds to treatment.
• Let family and friends help.

Having once suffered from depression can predispose someone to experiencing another episode. So if you've had an episode of depression, it is critical that you seek treatment at the first sign of a recurrence. Early, aggressive treatment can shorten the duration of depression and lessen its severity.

This section has more on how friends and family can help.

Friends and family

Depression does not affect just the depressed person. Friends and family all are touched by the illness. Often they are the first to realize that someone they care about is "not acting right." The most important thing that anyone can do for a depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until the symptoms begin to abate (several weeks) or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs.

On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about drinking alcohol while on medication.

The second most important job of friends and family members is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation, and listen carefully and nonjudgmentally. Don't disparage the feelings that are expressed, but try to point out the realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist or doctor. Invite the depressed person to join you for walks, outings, jaunts to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure such as hobbies, sports, or religious or cultural activities, but don't push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase the feeling of failure.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her to "snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that with time and help, he or she will feel better.