Friends and family

Depression does not affect just the depressed person. Friends and family all are touched by the illness. Often they are the first to realize that someone they care about is "not acting right." The most important thing that anyone can do for a depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until the symptoms begin to abate (several weeks) or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs.

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On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about drinking alcohol while on medication.

The second most important job of friends and family members is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation, and listen carefully and nonjudgmentally. Don't disparage the feelings that are expressed, but try to point out the realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist or doctor. Invite the depressed person to join you for walks, outings, jaunts to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure such as hobbies, sports, or religious or cultural activities, but don't push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase the feeling of failure.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her to "snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that with time and help, he or she will feel better.