Who's Your Daddy?
Sperm donors rely on anonymity. Now donor offspring (and their moms) are breaking down the walls of privacy
Indeed, the question of incest, although not the most urgent one for many offspring, is a real consideration. More pressing is family medical history. Most donors are in their early 20s, and the history they are required to submit goes back to their grandparents but is anecdotal. "It has always been about the donors and anonymity," says Kramer. "When are the policies going to be based on the best interests of people being born and their right to know and their children's right to know?"
Sperm banks, whose survival depends on being able to protect donor anonymity, argue that they do everything they can to ensure quality. Donor sperm is screened for certain genetic abnormalities, and fewer than 5 percent of applicants actually make the cut. "If we discover something subsequent about a donor, we would contact everyone who used that donor," says William Jaeger, vice president of the Fairfax Cryobank. But Jaeger acknowledges that such a discovery would depend on the cryobank's being contacted perhaps years later by the donor or by donor offspring who report a problem. Cryobanks do not check in with past donors to see how their health has progressed.
Even if the offspring could get a full medical report, it might not be enough. Many children want to fill what they describe as an emotional void created by not knowing their biological fathers or half of their ancestral past. They aren't interested in money (and their mothers signed away their rights to it anyway) or even an ongoing relationship. Finding their fathers is more about understanding a look, a mannerism, similar tastes, a connection. "I see Mom and me, and that's it," says Mary Catherine, a 21-year-old college student who was conceived with donor sperm and is hoping to find her biological father. "It would be wonderful to see that other part--even just to know what he looks like," she says. Now, as the barriers of anonymity are chipped away, it's a picture that many children of sperm donors may eventually be able to piece together.
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