Getting satisfaction
I think that the best answer is an analogy. Exercise is great for us, but often times we just sit on the couch and don't exercise because it hurts. The brain is not so different from a muscle; it can be conditioned. You can learn to work through things. That is the message I would give. Certain highs are anxiety producing but once dealt with produce a feeling of satisfaction in its place. There is priming and toughening of the systems in the brain, so it makes no sense to tackle the most anxiety-producing phenomenon. You can work up to it, like a training process. Anxiety is a forward-looking emotion. It's always about what is going to happen; it is not generally an emotion that is backward looking. Worrying about the past is more like depression. An anxious brain is trying to make predictions about what will happen, so the best way to sate that need and assuage that feeling is by doing what you may be anxious about.
But we can ' t all go sky diving. How do working people get some novelty in our lives?
I would say stop pursuing happiness and pursue satisfaction. One should be concentrating on things that give you a sense of commitment and achievement. Seek new experiences. When you think about it, the capacity for novelty that any inanimate object can give you is limited. The greatest source of novelty is other people. Fundamentally they are unpredictable, even if you have been married to them for 20 years. You don't know what the other person will do; there is the element that perhaps they will do something I won't like. Traditionally in most interactions, especially relationships, it is very easy to avoid that. You quickly find out what the other person's buttons are, and you avoid pushing them. It lulls you into the sense that you know each other, but in fact you don't. The only way to find out is ask, and when you do, you discover that novelty, you face that challenge. And you can achieve real satisfaction.
So when Mick Jagger complains that he " Can ' t Get No Satisfaction, " what is his problem?
He wasn't trying hard enough.
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