Through countless cosmos, breakups, musings and pinings, we felt we knew her – well, the characters she helped craft anyway. As the Golden Globe and Emmy-award winning writer and producer of "Sex and the City," Cindy Chupack was the poster single girl for the highs and lows on the quest for Mr. Right. So, now that she's married him, what does that mean for the rest of us ... No more comedy? Not a chance.
In her latest book, "The Longest Date: Life as a Wife," Chupack chronicles the vicissitudes of happily-ever-after-hood with the same brand of hysterical grit, love and heartache she brought to "Sex and the City." In the show and elsewhere in her writing (she's also written for "Modern Family" and "Everybody Loves Raymond," along with authoring a sex column for O, The Oprah Magazine), Chupack puts on display subjects that are rarely said, let alone celebrated. For example, in her previous book, "The Between Boyfriends Book," she coins phrases like "sexual sorbet," a palate-cleansing fling to remove the taste of the last relationship, and "premature 'we'jaculation" – when one member of the couple uses the 'we' word too soon. In tackling taboo with humor, she's spawned a collective sigh of relief among those who recognize themselves in her stories.
The same philosophy is deeply embedded in her new book, which is the basis for a forthcoming Fox TV pilot by the same name, though the characters have been renamed to provide a platform for fiction.
Thanks, in part, to shows like "Sex and the City," cultural taboos have been steadily removed from lots of topics. And yet, signing up for marriage, she's found, still comes with a gag clause.
"All the girls that I used to talk to about everything – everyone kind of closed ranks when they got married," Chupack told U.S. News. "There's a lot of reasons not to talk about your marriage honestly with everyone else," she concedes, noting the fear of seeming ungrateful to your single friends or aggrandizing a conflict. Still, "I think there's a lot of reasons to ... which is to make you understand that everyone has these issues."
For all its rewards, becoming a couple, and ultimately a family, involved plenty of struggle. For starters, Chupack's "great guy" – an attorney named Ian Wallach with an avocation for storytelling (she met him at a storytelling event in New York) – is a mostly reformed "bad boy." So, although Wallach traded his motorcycle for a Vespa and fully chose her as his (he actually proposed in a knight costume on a horse) – she had to make peace with his sexually adventurous past, which required her to know details – sometimes, in excruciating detail – of his former flings.
An example from the book: "After a long international flight, on the shuttle bus to the parking lot, Ian will say, 'Oh my God, Cookie??' (yes, her real name), and then from what they say – or don't say – about how they know each other, I can tell she's someone he slept with before we met," Chupack writes. "But knowing makes me feel like these ghosts of his sexual past do not have the upper hand. He does not share a secret with them. He shares their secret with me."
With time, Chupack stopped having nightmares, literally, about her husband straying. "Not only was it unfair to Ian, it was unfair to me," she writes. "If anyone was going to have extramarital sex in my dreams, it should be me. And monogamy is no small undertaking. Men are not the only ones who have trouble adjusting to the idea of sex with the same person day after day, night after night (well, at first; then it's more like month after month)."
She delves into the adjustment of "life as wife" with humor, even and maybe especially, in the couple's darkest period – their struggle to have a baby, or as she dubs it, "babyquest." Despite getting pregnant on their honeymoon – after a made-for-TV tossing of her birth control pills into the ocean – the complications that ended that pregnancy would continue to batter the couple in a sequence of torturous events.