The trouble for so many people is doing just that.
"In our culture, and in our families especially, most of us were raised in a house that either didn't speak about [sex]," or did so in a "really shameful, negative way," Berman says. As a result, "most of us never have the comfort level or the language or the bravery, really, to be really honest with ourselves and our mates about what our deepest sexual needs are and what we want, especially if there's a problem."
That's where a sex therapist can help couples open up about these challenges to release inhibitions and improve their sex life, she says. "What you resist persists."