More Than 40% of U.S. Teens Have Had Sex

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I second that. It is only by recognizing the full range of perspectives that we can truly understand issues as complicated as sexual mores--and to obliterate the sort of close-mindedness that tries to paint them in glaring black and white.
Thank you for sharing your perspective, AutisticOne. Your experiences are real and important, and you have just as much of a right to state them as any of the rest us who rant about unholiness and religious doctrine. Power to you.

nomynom of MA 12:27PM June 05, 2010

HedgedIn, you *do* need to know this stuff because you are closed-minded and ignorant to the truth. Your beliefs are *hurting* children, teens, and young adults alike.
I've got news for you: your so-called religious beliefs are *not* true fact. They are not verifiable to be factual in any way. Therefore, you have absolutely no moral right to enforce them upon anyone. I am giving you the true facts as to what happened to me after I was indoctrinated with your beliefs. I am sure there are countless others out there who have gone through similar situations as I have.
Don't pray for someone like me or Nonynom; pray for yourself. Pray that your brain starts working real soon before you indoctrinate and potentially destroy the emotional well-being of countless other young people.

AutisticOne of MD 12:04AM June 05, 2010

Thanks AutisticOne, really not what I needed to know. And nonynom, I will pray for you. I'm done.

HedgedIn of TX 12:59PM June 04, 2010

i think we need 2 b more understanding of requirement of our youth coz of lack of parents attention and interaction with them...........................we r vtoo pre occupied within oue own affairs........

sfis of ND 11:49AM June 04, 2010

Teens are experimenting with sex because they have a natural curiosity about it. It is part of their psychosexual development (the mental and emotional aspects of their sexuality). They need to get that curiosity out of their system so that they can developmentally progress to the next stage, which would be forming a monogamous relationship. How else do you expect them to be ready for a relationship when the time comes? In order to safely get that curiosity out of their system, they need comprehensive sex education. Abstinence will only increase their desire to experiment.
HedgedIn, I was raised Roman Catholic, but the beliefs that were forced into me were harmful and counterproductive for several reasons. First, I am gay. Secondly, I have a developmental disability on the autism spectrum: Asperger Syndrome. Thirdly, the beliefs that were forced upon me were completely contrary to a child's natural psychosexual development process.
I was forbidden to experiment with anyone when I was a child/teenager, which only caused me to constantly obsess over the desire to experiment. I never had a desire to penetrate a female, only to explore the bodies of my male peers (and to this day, I've never had sex with a female). Doing so would have moved my psychosexual development along naturally. It would have given me the understanding that I needed about the developing bodies of my peers. Doing nothing caused my development to stall.
It wasn't until I was 18 that I was free to do what I wanted. Unfortunately, my development was stuck at the level of a pre-teen/adolescent who only wanted to experiment with his friends. However, I was constantly being told that I was expected to be in a relationship in order to have any sexual contact. Unfortunately, my development was stunted in such a way that I was *not ready* to form a relationship, mentally or emotionally (or psychosexually). Who at that age would allow me to explore his body outside of a relationship? I agonized over this for five years before finally attempting suicide, which was my way of asking for help. It led me to therapy, which was marginally helpful, but I was still being told that I needed a relationship. I actually hired an escort at one point, but my doctors and parents pressured me to cancel him.
At 25, I finally had my first sexual experience with an adult male who was willing to let me explore his body. That jump-started my stalled psychosexual development. I had a total of four sexual experiences with similar males before I finally met my first boyfriend, with whom I am in a mutually faithful monogamous relationship. Now I feel like a well-adjusted adult.
HedgedIn, those experiences did *not* leave me feeling "empty, hollow, [or] used," nor will I ever regret them, because I wasn't ready for adult love at the time. To get to that stage, I needed to experiment to get the curiosity out of my system. Only then did I begin to develop the desire for adult love.

AutisticOne of MD 2:16AM June 04, 2010

Why would I want to keep my clothes on when taking them off is just so fun? ;)
Sex is pleasurable, liberating, and vivifying. And no, I have never felt... how you say.... "empty, hollow, and used." I can't say anything for sure about the future, obviously, but somehow I doubt I will then either. And no, I don't have sex because I'm under some sort of delusion that my partners love me. It may be hard to believe from your apparent background, but I happen to have sex because I have made the personal choice to do so. It is gratifying for me, and it does not hurt anyone. There you go.
Oh, and FYI safe sex is healthy. Check it out:
http://www.naturalnews.com/025393_health_pain_women.html
Hey, I'm not saying no increasing my longevity and decreasing my risk of heart attack and stroke.
Abstinence is by all means a perfectly viable personal choice. But so is having sex. As soon as someone gives me an actual, legitimate reason to stop having responsible sex, I will consider changing my behavior. But until then....... bow chicka bow wow }:)

nomynom of MA 9:20PM June 03, 2010

@Judith Levine, I cannot believe you're calling abstinence unholy. I don't know what religious belief you've subscribed to, but it's not one I want any part of if keeping it in your pants is considered unholy.
And @nonynom, it's a problem because it is NOT rewarding and it is NOT healthy for people who have barely crawled out of childhood and don't have a clue about how the real world actually works to be doing it with whoever they feel like. It's indecent and you will find that having multiple partners, later on in your life, will be something you are going to regret. It will leave you feeling empty, hollow, and used. The boys you're whoring yourself to don't love you, no matter what they claim, and cannot give you the fulfillment you deserve. Not having sex does not take that much self-control, it's not something we just have to have or oh my gosh we'll die with our crotches rotting out. For heaven's sake, people, it is NOT so hard to just keep your clothes on!

HedgedIn of TX 1:51PM June 03, 2010

I work in a teen parent program. Over the past two years two trends are very troubling to me, first is age of pregnancy. This year I has three mothers that became pregnant at 12. The other is multiple children, I have a 15 year old in my program with two children. I work with this every day and even I have no idea what the answer could be. Societal pressure is strong, combine this with parents who are either absent, drug addicted, or too busy with their own lives to notice their children and you have a perfect storm for sexual activity at a young age. My daughter is 13 today, and I am probably hyper-vigilant with her. On the other side, kids are indeed going to do what they are going to do. We have to educate, support, and take those blinders off...

Ana F of OK 11:15AM June 03, 2010

"Abstinence Only Education" is not in any way educational. It is indoctrination and disinformation and has been a crime against the children of this country since its unholy inception. Complete and factual education about human sexuality and all issues involved, along with widely available safe birth control is the only way our teens can learn life long safety practices about their own sexuality. They have a right to it and we have a moral obligation to provide it in the public schools K-12 with an age appropriate curriculum. Superstition about the "sinfulness" of sex has no place in the public schools or indeed in any of our public institutions. It is more than a disservice to our children, it is ruining lives, families and entire communities.

Judith Levine of AR 8:42AM June 03, 2010

If you say you have 'no control' over your child's sexual activity and are forced to put them on birth control (which can have side effects such as causing blood clots), then you are a very poor parent indeed. What happened to raising children with values and teaching them good standards of behavior.
--Concerned in Albequerque

Edna Fraser of AZ 7:25AM June 03, 2010