On Teens and Sex: Where's the Love?

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ok so I have found out my 17 yr old daughter has been having sex..not with a boyfriend but with, whomever....I have had all day to think about what I am going to say to her...I go from being hurt and disaapointed to wanting to get her to a dr. immediately to be tested for STD"S and putting her on birth control....but yet, doing that tells her I am ok with her having sex, which I am not. Not to mention the reputation she is getting herself..which completely disgusts me...I ahve 3 sons, older, she is our only daughter...I feel like I failed her...now what

MaryAlice of PA 6:03PM January 16, 2012

We teenagers should try as much as possible to abstain from sex even if u re no longer a virgin. As for virgins keep urself. PLAY SAVE!

Ololade of LA 5:26PM October 14, 2011

The brains of teen boys are raging with the libido hormone testosterone...
Actually the enzyme aromatase converts testosterone to estradiol within the brain...so they'd not really be raging with testosterone.

particular of TX 11:55PM November 14, 2009

Because sexual relations are occurring at younger rates and more frequently, it becomes more difficult to ignore the truth. Rather than using abstinence as the only means by which to say that sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy are avoidable, it is important to educate today's youth. One organization that has taken the notion that sexual interaction is a fact of life is that of Beyondmedia who works to encourage safe practices and the consequences of not following those practices. A recent program was created by Beyondmedia that educates youth on risk reduction, safer sex practices and the importance of education and testing. A link to the trailer is provided.
http://www.vimeo.com/2557189

Lisa Johnson of IL 2:54PM August 05, 2009

Well some times i begin to think why sex is so important to teens. it seems today that if you are stil a virgin, that you are not worth it but however this is a lie. Abstinence to me is the best thing for teens to do. There is no way someone wh abstains from sex will catch STD or get pregnant. there are many shames and guilt associated with early sex and also poor performance is associated with it.I think teens should take action and decide on the best thing for them in live and not to allow safe sex promoters to put them into a pit that they will not help them to get out from. Please beware, sex is not all that matters. if you don't have sex in your present age, you wll still be the boy or girl you are.

Nze of DC 8:16PM June 30, 2009

rT96S4 my best site http://horror.com

matiu of MT 7:45AM May 30, 2009

I believe that as young adult i am not ready for sex. I am 16 years old and have had many "chances" at it...but i beleive in waiting till your married...it will mean sooo much more than "doing it" and then having that big chance of getting your heart broken. I've been with the same guy for 2 years and we both plan on waiting till we are at least 21 AND married. I hope all you other teens out there reading this take my advice as your own.

Krystal H of IL 3:35PM March 17, 2009

A Mental Health counselor once told me that she views sex as a wonderful happening which nobody can take away from people.
What do you think about what she said?

raymond of RI 4:25PM March 05, 2009

When I was in High School, and having unprotected sex, I remember thinking of the consequences, but also thinking that, it could never happen to me. I remember considering myself to be more responsible and mature then most of my peers because I had all my priorities straight (school, college applications, SAT and ACT tutoring, and working full-time). Because of time restraints on my schedule I did not want to also entertain a boyfriend full time. So I like many of my friends had “booty buddies”, which were close friends whom I could call on to “take care of my needs”. I became pregnant at the age of 17; luckily for me I had started school young and had just graduated High School. My hopes and dreams for the future had then become shattered. I had been accepted into multiple Universities, which would have taken me far from home. I had to give up those dreams, and went instead to a community college, so that I could get married and at least try to start my family off right. I was working full-time as a hostess/waitress making decent money but not enough to be able to sustain my family without government help. (Let me just point out that I did marry the father but even with our combined incomes it was still not enough.) Now six years later I am in the military and deployed to Iraq for 15 months. The moral of my little biography is that I was raised in a good home my father and mother both raised me to the best of their abilities, to include the lectures on abstinence, and instilling the “fear of God” into me. I just wanted to let other parents know that sometimes no matter what you do, life happens. I sometimes wish my parents would have tried talking to me about sex as not a “you will go to hell if you even kiss a boy” type lecture but a “your body is telling you that you are ready to have sex, your friends and the media are telling you that you are ready to have sex, but are you ready to face the consequences if something were to go wrong?”, type lecture instead. Don’t get me wrong I don’t blame them, I knew all the information, I made the decision. But what may have worked for you, friends, family, or other kids doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. As you know everyone is different, your children are growing up and sex is a part of that process, whether we like it or not. Please feel free to share my little story with your children; hopefully it will get them to think a bit differently.

soldier of TX 3:37AM February 26, 2009

Like it or not, teenagers who have sex are more likely to have negative self-esteem, depression, suicidal thoughts, not to mention the likelihood of pregnancy and STD's that will affect their future. What teenager doesn't think they are mature and responsible. The reality is, even married people in their thirties who use birth control have accidental pregnancies. I think parents and educators should focus on helping teens realize the positive benefits of waiting until marraige. How much better sex is in a committed relationship where both partners are only interested in what is best for the other person. How many guys do you think really would say at the age of 17 or in college that they care so much for the girl they want to have sex with that they would committ themselves forever to them. They only want to satisfy their needs and if you're not doing it for them, they'll be on to the next girl. How is that going to feel for the girl who has sex with them because she is in love and thinks he has her best interests at heart? It just makes sense to wait until you have the assurance of the other person that they will be there for you no matter what, not leave you because you won't satisfy them sexually or because your pregnant or because someone cuter and more exciting comes along. Marraige is the only place that you can experience sex in the bounds of a true love relationship. That is real freedom. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, it is a moral issue because your actions affect yourself and your partner and your future spouse and children. If you get an STD you could infect your future spouse and children, your could get cancer which would affect them. Personal responsibilty and morality are the same thing. Unfortunately society sends all these messages that it's not O.K. to wait and that there's something wrong with you if you're a virgin after a certain age and that you need experience to be a real man or a desirable woman. This is why teens feel they are not worth waiting for. We should teach them that they are worth so much that they should wait for someone who will treat them with the utmost respect and love, women should be treated like queens and men should be treated like kings. There should be mutual love, trust, respect that just doesn't come easily and kids shouldn't think they have to give that special part of themselves away so easily either. Sex is a gift and we treat it like it's nothing, no big deal. If it's no big deal why are there so many big consequences to it?

Jennifer Peters of MO 10:37AM February 14, 2009