More Than Shy: How to Cope With Social Anxiety

I can relate to pretty much all of you. Why I don't understand is why we have this and why we can't do anything about it. I'm 30 yrs old and started having the social anxienty/phobia mabye 2-3 years ago. Before then i could call anybody on the phone and talk to them freely, now, I am afraid to do that and don't understand the reason why. This just drives me crazy. I kept this to myself until last night when I told my wife who though I was joking with her when I told her about my anxiety. Here's an exmple though... yesterday I had to contact my corporate IT from home to help me with my computer. The first time i was very nervous, my heart was racing, and the moment the person picked up the phone on the other end, i was like sluring and stuttering for more then a minute until i got stabilized and then it went fine. Now, the second time I called IT again after an hour, this call went fine. I was nervous a bit but it was ok. I think it was because i got familiar with them the first time but not sure.

I also relate to dlh from Florida where because of work you have to attend the outings, i have to do the same and I basically just do it. It is extremely hard, facing all these people, sometimes putting you on the spot, etc. but hey I have a family to support and hopefuly i can find a good psychologyst here in Ontario to overcome this and all will be better then.

Cheers,

Mike

Mike 11:58PM July 25, 2008

I can relate to much of this article & to many of the comments that were posted. However, I still feel alone in my own personal experiences with Social Anxiety Disorder. I have had this illness since early childhood. It began when I entered preschool at 4 years old and continued to worsen over the years. I had very few friends & the ones I did have were all made by the time I was 6 years old. Even now, in my mid-twenties, I have only one friend, who is one of the few I made as a child. Because of my anxiety, I am lucky she has continued to stick around.

This disorder has inhibited every aspect of my life; keeping me from achieving my goals, from creating or maintaining relationships with family, friends & those around me, and basically, from having a life. I have virtually no contact with any members of my family, save one, none of whom suffer with SAD. At my age, I still have never had a job. I have never had any kind of intimate relationship with anyone, not even a date, which is absolutely unheard of at my age & is far more humiliating to me than even the fact of never having a job. I am more than 10 years behind in most areas of life & the humiliation & fear of judgment & rejection & criticism I feel only increases my anxiety in social situations. I must hear others' constant ridicule because of my lack of life experience & because I am too scared of almost any kind of human interaction, let alone confrontation, I never stick up for myself.

For years, I could barely come out of the house & at tmes, it is still terrifying to do. A lot of times, I get scared of a knock at the door & go upstairs because I know there is someone on the other side of the door who is going to expect me to behave sociably & normally & that is rarely possible for me to do. This illness has kept me from living the life I know I could otherwise live & from being the person I know I could otherwise be. It has basically ruined every aspect of my life thus far.

Almost a year ago, I finally got up enough courage to seek help. I did so only because the depression I felt as a result of the SAD had gotten so bad that I nearly committed suicide. I am now seeing a psychiatrist, a counselor, & going to two seperate places to assist me in finding a job (to no avail because of my lack of experience). I was diagnosed not only with SAD but also with Bipolar 1 Disorder, & have come to know how commonplace it is for the two to coexist. Although the depression has diminished to the point of non-existence at times, the anxiety, though better in a lot of ways, still inhibits my life. This is mainly due to the fact that I can not take the anti-depressants used to treat those with SAD because they may very well worsen my bipolar disorder, which is treated with mood stabilizers.

My hope is that for anyone whose experiences with SAD may be anything like my own, they will know that although they feel so very alone, they are, in fact, not. My hope is that those not suffering with SAD, or those with SAD whose symptoms are not quite as severe, will realize that those like me are not lazy, unlearned, anti-social, or rude, but that we have an illness which is just like any other illness, & are not at fault. & I hope that, although my experience wth SAD is probably incredibly unusual, it will make people who do not have SAD stop & think before they stand in judgment, criticise, or insult any of those of us who have SAD, or any other mental illness.

Nari of OH 6:06AM July 13, 2008

When I scrolled to this page and saw this article I thought maybe it would have helpful information on "How to Cope with Social Anxiety" but was disappointed to read it just told me what social anxiety is (which by the way I am already too familiar with). Thanks for not much.

virginia katz of CA 7:17PM May 28, 2008

When I scrolled to this page and saw this article I thought maybe it would have helpful information on "How to Cope with Social Anxiety" but was disappointed to read it just told me what social anxiety is (which by the way I am already too familiar with). Thanks for not much.

virginia katz of CA 7:17PM May 28, 2008