I knew I had issues with focusing but this sounds exactly like me and my relationship. I just don't want to be drugged up for people to get along with me. I have seen the side effects of the meds and I rather not take them.
Cheof WI3:12PM September 30, 2010
I raised an ADD child with no medicine, no support groups and found that labeling was an exceptional poor remedy. My son was called retard all the time and he now won't even discuss the public school he attended before we had to enroll him in a private school. He mowed the lawn, shoveled snow and cleaned the house because at that point, he knew I needed help. There wasn't much spontanaityhe would store it in his brain and retaliate at a later time. If he didn't want to it, he had to be persuaded but he knew exactly what he was doing. Both my other son and myself kept telling ourselves that we might overwhelm him.
Instead of support groups for the adults, the parents should take charge by tutoring, special classes, info from a psychologist on his progress, enroll him in different activities. My son chose acting and in no time he was memorizing lines for plays, dance shows, small part in America's Most Wanted. Also, a newscaster for a kid's news show, acting school, and auditioning for several parts. Poor behavior after that resulted mostly from the fact that he just didn't want to do whatever it was. But he did graduate from college and was on the Dean's list for the last two years. I believe it can be overcome. He still has a math disability but does have a wife that encourages the do it now attitude.
marleneof MD3:03PM September 30, 2010
Thank You so much for this info. I have lived with this for 55 years and never understood why I was like I was.
pjof AR2:40PM September 30, 2010
Thanks for this piece. And thank all of you posters for the links. I've put them in my favorites! I appreciate you wanting to help others in the same situation. That's how we ADDers often are :-)
Bryanof OR1:50PM September 30, 2010
I've been diagnosed with ADHD by a top executive MD and I completely relate to the scenario. Its easier said than done. I constantly forget to close cabinets, or do a chore etc. I feel like I'm being berated, criticized, etc. I cant remember three things in a row, so the third item goes out the window instantly. Despite this, I function at a very high level. Without a blackberry my life would fall apart. This is a great article.
Robof NY12:20PM September 30, 2010
@ Beth Boyle: How is having labels dehumanizing? On the contrary it was once I realized that I had ADHD that I was able to deal with it and get help for it. I was also able to explain to other people why I act the way I do sometimes.
The only thing dehumanizing is when people who don't suffer from ADHD make blanket statements about it and think it's something we should be able to get over with will power alone.
Nathanof MI11:21AM September 30, 2010
I found www.addconsults.com a great place for tips, coaches and information. I don't mind the labels. This condition is a fact of life and categorizing can help it get some attention.
Johnof WA3:00PM September 29, 2010
I find these labels more and more disturbing. ADHD, OCD all of them. Can't we quit being backwards like the Victorians and just treat people as people and stop with these pseudoscientific terms. People are individuals and these labels are dehumanizing.
Beth Boyleof NY1:06PM September 29, 2010
A study, published in the August 25 Journal of the American Medical Association, was performed by researchers from Massachusetts General Hospital. They used cognitive training to greatly help ADHD adults. Cognitive and behavioral interventions seem to work great for adults.
With my wife fed up with me, I used Play Attention (www.playattention.com) and hired a life coach. The Play Attention system teaches cognitive skills and organization. I've been very successful using these approaches. I think my wife is going to keep me!
john glennonof NC11:05AM September 29, 2010
The site http://www.adhdmarriage.com is a comprehensive resource for learning about the impacts of ADHD on relationships and marriage and more importantly, how to effectively and address them in an empathetic manner. A great place to start is with the post http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/six-signs-adhd-may-be-part-your-marriage.
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Che of WI 3:12PM September 30, 2010
marlene of MD 3:03PM September 30, 2010
pj of AR 2:40PM September 30, 2010
Bryan of OR 1:50PM September 30, 2010
Rob of NY 12:20PM September 30, 2010
Nathan of MI 11:21AM September 30, 2010
John of WA 3:00PM September 29, 2010
Beth Boyle of NY 1:06PM September 29, 2010
john glennon of NC 11:05AM September 29, 2010
Jack Connolly of NY 6:54AM September 29, 2010