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We're All Lying Liars: Why People Tell Lies, and Why White Lies Can Be OK

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Many liars have honed their lying "skills" as a means of self defense. More often than not they were the children of alcoholics or victims of abuse. By lying about themselves they are ensuring that they are not being punished for who they truly are. More often than not liars lie out of fear of rejection and persecution, not because they are evil or mean harm. They need to feel understood and accepted for the lying to stop.

Counselor of ME 9:07AM July 28, 2010

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weight loss food of 1:01PM June 20, 2010

I an doing a science fair project at school on lying and the point of it is to see which is more accurate, a human telling if a person is or a simple lie detector witch I am building. I wanted to know if if you had any more information on the subject. I am in the 8th grade so can you please put it between and 10th-11th grade reading level.

Naomi of WI 3:52PM December 03, 2009

God hates lying and He hates liars. It is impossible for God to lie and everyone who belongs to Him will keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit (Psalms 34:13). Colossians 3:9 tells us not to lie to one another, because lying is part of our old (unregenerate) self with its evil practices and we ought to have stripped our old self off. Jesus said that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. He is a murderer there is no truth in him (John 8:44). If we are born-again and washed in the blood of Jesus then we must walk in truth and talk the truth.

Leon 12:52AM July 15, 2009

Just because you have an opinion does not make it the truth. What people think often varies from day to day, hour to hour. Many people who claim to never lie have a god complex or feel the great pain of someone who deceived them in the past. The human mind still manages to lie to itself in order to get what it wants. Your unconscious will always force you to misrepresent what the conscious interprets as truth if the unconscious feels the trade-off is appropriate. Claiming not to lie is simply a lie to protect ones self-image and is a hallmark of narcissistic personalities.

Brad W. of PA 10:18PM May 28, 2009

I try my best never to lie. I try to say things in a positive light or just not mention things that will hurt people. If someone asks "Does this shirt look good on me?" you can always say "I like your black button-up better. You look great in that shirt." instead of telling them how fantastically lousy they look. This way you don't have to be a gutless liar and you can still say something nice. I can't stand people that will set a person loose on the world wearing a shirt that will make everyone laugh at them. It's mean. Liars do it because deception is easier to maintain than strength of character.
I'm honest and people get tired of it. Mostly because I'm severely bipolar and have borderline disorder... but partially because I bring stuff out into the open. Confrontation is healthy and important to communication and the resolution of problems. Lies and deception and secrets are poisonous. The weak favor dishonesty because it is easier than putting forward the effort to BE good instead of just representing yourself as good.
It may be good for you psychologically? Maybe I should start lying more.

RazorTongue9000 of AR 2:15AM May 22, 2009

I have made a conscious effort since my adulthood (8 years) to avoid lies. I have a sarcastic nature, so I will sometimes "lie" as a comical relief, but I work to reduce that behavior as well. In highschool, I had this feeling of confusion about the truth and I realized that few people seem to espouse or seek the truth. I'm socially awkward naturally, but the whole honesty thing does seem to make socializing somewhat more difficult. My mom used to say "If you don't have anything NICE to say, don't say anything at all." However, this term "nice" is much too subjective and have since replaced it with "honest." As a result, I am frequently told that I'm mean. Asking why the truth is mean, I was told by a friend that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the truth and as a result, I am made to appear "mean". I treat this as the golden rule. I tell the truth, because I want to know the truth. If you can't handle the truth, maybe you should wear a label. I think honesty is very closely associated with responsibility. No matter how "nice" someone seems, the honest tend to be entirely more responsible people. I experience frustrations frequently due to the frequency of dishonesty I encounter. Perhaps this is the reason why us honest people tend to be less happy. Ignorance may be bliss, but I don't find it nearly as satisfying. I have learned, when asked for my opinion, if I think my response will not be what the person wants to hear, I will ask "Are you sure you want me to answer that?" And then the truth comes if they insist. This helps keep things a little less awkward than the guy who just doesn't respond as well as responding honestly straight off. It's ironic, in personal ads, I always see women complaining that men aren't honest, but when honesty is shown to them, they can't handle it.
Anyways, for an example of an honest man who is by no means socially awkward or displeasing, I encourage you to investigate Daisaku Ikeda. Also, check out sgilibrary.org if you are really interested in The Truth.

wikiBuddha of NV 4:21PM May 21, 2009

When we learn to tell little lies (like telling someone who gave us a gift that we like it), I think the lesson we should take from that is to be respectful, not that it's okay to lie. I think it's true that telling the complete truth can sometimes hurt and come across as disrespectful. And I think the article is true that people who tell little lies from time to time tend to seem more positive, and that some little lies can become self-fulfilling truths. Thoughts can shape our feelings, so when we try to think/speak more positively, even if it's not truthful, we may feel better than if we always tell the complete truth.

Eric of OR 3:22PM May 21, 2009

Well, all the politicians lie, so why shouldnt the sheeple!
RT
www.whos-watching.se.tc

John Davis of AR 2:57PM May 21, 2009

I have a friend whom I have never known to tell a lie in 25 years. However, when you ask him a question and he suspects the answer might hurt or upset you or feels it is none of your business, he simply doesn't answer. I can tell you that I, and others, find this quite disconcerting, primarily because this behavior is so different from what we've come to expect from others. Do you really want someone to tell you, "It's not the jeans that make your butt look fat."?

Sue of CA 11:23AM May 20, 2009