7 Myths About Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Referring to point 2 - "But the data don't back it up."

Should be;

But the data doesn't back it up.

I stopped reading after that.

correction of AL 1:15AM August 05, 2009

Lindsay Lyon:

Are you insane?

Do you understand how many genuinely suffering people there are in the United States, as well as the world, who are terrified of ill-appeasing an NPD in their lives?

People whose food, shelter, self-esteem or very lives depend on pleasing someone who cannot or will not adopt a sense of ethics, conscience or compassion?

Do you understand what it might be like to be pinned down like an insect and abjectly tortured by someone who only enjoys seeing the squirm?

Financially, socially, emotionally, sexually: NPDs are always, in my unprofessional opinion, extracting the spirit, the finances, the freedom and the peace from anyone who falls prey to them. Think of any organism, any kind at all, that attaches itself to a nice corpulent host. And feeds on it, without mercy, without compassion, without conscience, for years, until the host has been sucked dry and dies from its predator.

And then? The NPD simply moves on.

Good luck with that in-depth research you (didn't) do.

Bill Stern of WA 8:42PM July 11, 2009

Just divorced a classic narcissist after 26 years of marriage. It was mostly hell, and I barely escaped with my sanity. He had a girlfriend within two weeks of moving out, and had no use for me or our children after that. I tried to warn the new woman of the terror that she is entering into, but she just chalks it up to "jealous ex-wife." Guess she deserves what she gets! (She is 49 years old!)

Cathy O. of CO 3:46PM July 08, 2009

The comment directly below describes the human race, not narcissists alone; we merely are upfront about it, while the rest of you possess a capacity for middling convictions.

The fact is, the instant "self" is part of a word, the mundane person becomes very worried. He wrings his hands, whining and jigging about, *because Other-perception is vital to him*. But, there is really no otherness in society; every action, reaction, thought and word is Self-involved and Self-oriented. The reason for the popularity of faithbased solutions to the problems of everyday life, is that--on some level--they are meant to combat a burgeoning Self.

There's really no point dealing in semantics. Call it selfesteem, selfishness, selfrespect, selfsatisfaction or narcissistic selfgratification, it comes to the same end. I am a Self; you are a Self. It's just, unlike you, I don't pretend to other-care. To say that one kind of selflove is healthy and another is not, well...human beings are not recipe's (a pinch of this, a dash of that). So-called "secondary emotions" are based in fear, largely that of disapproval by The Group. You Want To Fit In. You Fear Aloneness If You Cannot. So, you bend the knee. You are, at base level, doing this only for You.

In his very fine writings on the subject, Vaknin calls us narcissists, "primitive human beings". Fine. That, at least, is honest.

CEE of IL 5:31PM July 02, 2009