10 Things You Should Know About Alzheimer's Disease

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I hear all of you. I took care of my mother for 4 years - it was OK in the beginning but it was very, very hard the last year to year and half...4 years in total. I too only had limited help from my family. Too busy with their own lives or in denial. Please hang in there - I can only tell you now that she is gone I am happy that I was there, but when she passed I was relieved for her and I. Do not feel guilty its the hardest thing I ever did and knowing my mother, in her day, she would have agreed it wasn't a life for either of us.

Jane Doe of ME 10:39PM May 08, 2009

I use to take my mom on vacation for her birthday every year. That was my way of saying thanks for all she’s done for me. She was a great mom, whom I visited weekly when I lived near-by and called daily. She gave her all to us. She helped raise her grand and great-grand children. She was a very religious person, kind and loving. Our dysfunctional family was kept together due to her sheer goodness and love.
The family she tended to so lovingly no longer visits and those who do don’t spend any amount of time with her. It’s to depressing or uncomfortable I hear them say. I moved in with mom when my husband passed away to become her prime caregiver, but I can honestly say I too have also taken my feeling out of the equation. What started out as a loving act to honor a wonderful person and mom, turned into a nightmare!
My intellect tell me it’s the disease that is taking over her mind, but when she speaks ill of me using vulgar language and wishes I was never born, it hurts! To prevent any more pain, from her verbal abuse, I now just handle her day to day needs without emotions. Sad fact to admit to myself, let alone to others. I wish that God would take her and end her misery, or mine so that I would not have to see her this way.
Mom will have her 90th birthday next month. I don’t think we'll be taking a birthday trip anytime soon!

Anna of GA 6:56PM May 08, 2009

For the past few years I have notice a change in a very dear friend....recently her family told me it's gotten to the point that they had to place her in assitant living. She can no longer live alone or be on her own.. I miss my friend, the talks, the corny jokes, the movie outings and dinners and lunches we shared. She has always had a very strong faith base and believes in God....she tells me she in prison, that everything is locked up...she hates where she is...she hates her body and mine....I can't say I blame her. She wants God to take her home she tells me that over and over.....I just pray that he is listening this time. My friend is a different woman now...she really isn't sure who she is....she thinks she's crazy...No one should be robbed of their mine. I witness three aunts go through this...beautiful flowers wilting into nothing...then dying.....it's a shame

Elaine Jacques of CO 4:07PM April 30, 2009

I cry every single day. My mother was my best friend. I try to share everything with her still and it is so difficult. Some days she seems to understand every single word and other days she will even tell me that it is time to go home. I stay stressed all of the time. It has changed me. I pray all of the time and have changed my religion. I took care of my mother for years with no help from my family. I still don't think that I have recovered from all of the stress. Now she is in a nursing home and my brother and sister act as if they have done something wonderful by putting her there. Our family was already dysfunctional and this experience has pushed them over the edge. All I care about is my mother. I really feel like she is the only family that I have. It is sad when people are so self-centered like my brother & sister. 5 minutes away and they don't make time for her. I will never understand. I am 90 miles away and I still keep a schedule with her unless I'm ill. It breaks my heart to see my mother like this. Sometimes I run to her because I miss her so much and just pour out my heart to her. I dearly love her. I talk to her all of the time even when I'm not there. I always touch her and hold her when I visit and write down that I was there. I think it may be the only human touch that she ever gets. I don't know how I will ever live without my mother she is my entire world.

aj of OH 2:48AM April 20, 2009

No one who visits an Alzheimer care facility would ever want to spend one day there themselves -- even the most high end, very clean and caring facilities are nothing more than Departure Lounges for Death.
It is terrible. The "care" provided consists of medications to keep people in zombified states for many years; curled up on their beds, staring at looping videos, and spilling plates of mush on themselves. There is no dignity in this today.
What's needed is an alternative care that does not provide any medication except for pain. Provides for a non-institutionalized setting with access to fresh air and sunshine, or rain. A few days of weeks/months of quality are far better than years of suffering.
Those who suffer most are those who continue to have levels of cognition while declines in memory. Watching as a family members loses a chunk of 5-years of memory over 2 months, including some of the most important memories in their life, is horrid.
Get the pharmaceutical companies out of the equation. Take the Neurologists away except for studies -- but, let anyone with Alzheimer's die as quickly as possible.
Sad, but true.

caregiver101 of AK 5:06PM March 29, 2009

You must take care of youself, my dear. My heart goes out to you.
My mother died of Alzheimers several years ago. She suffered the more extreme symptoms for more than 8 years, and the costs out of pocket were devastating. I had little help from my sibling, and needed to work full time during most of these years.
Early on I realized that I would not be the caretaker that I needed to be if I did not find a way to be happy. I learned to take great pleasure in small things such as the music on my car radio during long forced commutes between job, family and Mother; to stop and enjoy a sunset for a few minutes; to laugh at the antics of a child on a street; to marvel at the fresh green of a beautiful spring day. At some point I vowed to make sure that I would find something to get joy from each day no matter how bad things sometimes seemed. I have never considered myself any kind of a Polly Anna, but these habits that I formed during this difficult time have stayed with me, and I consider them the final gifts that I received from my lovely Mom.

Nancy of WY 1:07AM March 27, 2009

I read everything I find on Alzheimers. My mother and her father before her suffered from it.
Fortunately neither became angry or obstreperous and my mother never became confused as to who each of us was. Never the less, it is a horrid condition.
What isn't mentioned in the article nor, so far, by any commentors are any alternatives to living the steady deterioration that ensues.
The best alternative I see for myself would be a gentle death preferable lawful and assisted. But if the law is not changed by the time I would need it, if I have Alzheimers I know I would have to check out early while I still had control. I see no value in becoming such a depleted human being nor being such a dependent burden.
I've lived well, I've lived long and so far am enthusiastically enjoying life in my seventies. But a long, drawn out death, whether Alzheimers, cancer, stroke should not be required of anyone because some people are so afraid of death that they don't understand those who prefer to make their exit from this life with dignity.
Carolyn Africa

Carolyn Africa of CA 11:51PM March 26, 2009

This disease is the worst thing that has ever happened to my family. No one really understands unless they've lived with someone who has it.
I can no longer have conversations with my mother because it's all one sided. One of my daughters is in college and the other is about to go and I know she can't wait to get out of here. My sister doesn't even live in the country and continuously calls asking questions to the point that I don't even answer the phone at home or work because I'm just so sick of answering everyone's questions. My hair has fallen out, I'm bleeding perfusely and I no longer have a personal life. I've told my children not to come back home because it's too stressful for them.
There is no bright side to this disease.
I just cook, shower get my mother dressed for bed, give her medication and hope that she sleeps so I don't have to sit in front of the door so she will not walk out as she's done so many times.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
I can't believe a woman who has been a nurse for alomsty 30 years can go from remembering every patient she had to not even remembering that she ate.
I feel sad for her. I will go on living but her quality of life has diminished so much.

Lee of NY 11:27AM March 26, 2009

23 percent have diabetes, and 18 percent have diabetes.
That doesn't make any sense.

Proof Reader of CT 8:10PM March 25, 2009

I went through 5 years of utter sadness, while my wonderful Mother suffered with Alzheimer's and stage 4 cancer. I quit life to be with her. For anyone about to go through this awful disease, may I give a word:
Drop it all and go home and love, live take a walk...get a cookie at the mall. I waited tables at 40. ya know what....wouldn't change a thing.
Miss you Amanda....love Darin

Darin of OK 5:17PM March 25, 2009