I'm 26 years old,,don't know much about the subject as many people here but,, i really think that our spirit or state of mind plays a big role in this game. A lot of friends or people around you all the time doesn't mean you're not open to lonlyness,,,understand yourself first...
Very good article too...
danielof NY3:24PM February 24, 2009
I am 58 years old and found myself alone after a 25 year marriage. I loved being married and it was a good marriage. I feel like I was betrayed, because I was. I didn't live with a man I loved and adored for 25 years to end up like this. We were planning a great retirement for both of us together. Now I feel like I am aging very quickly. I have no friends, because everybody is wrapped up in themselves. And anybody who pretends to be my friend just wants money out of me. I am in great health, no medications or any kind. I eat well and take care of myself. I drink very little. I have a great connection with my two sons and daughter in law and grandbaby, but I do not have any close friends that I can talk to. Money is a very big concern with me now. It would not have been if my husband hadn't betrayed me. I didn't plan my life like this. I planned on have a great retirement with a stable future. So you tell me how I get myself out of this duldrum of my life. I don't like staying at home by myself. I want to travel and I am trying to work a business that is related, but I need someone who wants to travel too which will greatly inprove my outlook on life and improve my mental and physical well being.
I plan to live a long time, in good health and enjoy my life.
Donnaof NC2:52PM February 24, 2009
I agree that the internet can create more isolation in people. I understand the desire to try to connect to people in different places, and with similar interests, but to maintain these computer connections means spending more time in front of a screen.
Quoting from the article:
When it comes to friendships, some people think that in order to be less lonely, everybody has to like them. That's not true. It takes just one, two, or three people. The person who has 4,000 friends on Facebook is not necessarily the least lonely person, especially if he spends all his time maintaining his Facebook page.
It is true. I see people with 50 or so friends, and I don't understand. If everyone of those people wrote, all the time, it would be crazy. Nobody would ever be able to pull themselves away from the computer.
As for me, I come from a family that was lacking. In school, I was never popular, and I had a few friends like me-nerdy. Loneliness has always haunted me to some degree.
As the television is a "cheap" babysitter, the internet can be a "mechanical" friend...it does not bleed, it does not laugh or cry.
Dorothy Andersonof MI12:31PM February 05, 2009
If you can, you must choose to choose something different. Just do one thing per day for success. I think walking would be the first thought of mine too, as it gets you out in the air and sunshine. You might also adopt a mutt that needs a loving home--not a high need puppy but an adult dog that is lonely too. A sweet girl like you. She would love to go on walk with you instead of sitting in a cage.
Kathleenof NY11:20AM January 30, 2009
andria ingram
i didnt get any time to read it but im goning to try and do it at home
of 2:46PM January 27, 2009
When I read your comments I felt connected for the first time in about 5 years. I am 52 years lonely. I have felt lonely all of my life, even during my 23 year marriage I was lonely. But the older I get the more I panic about my lonliness because my chances for true intimacy are growing dimmer and dimmer. My children are building their own relationships and families and no longer need me. My mother does not seem to suffer from lonliness and claims to prefer to spend any quiet hours she can, although she still has one grown child living with her. One of my sisters has a husband and four grandchildren and the last sister, like my mother prefers to spend time in the presence of her own loveable self. The people I meet in the workforce are all young and just starting out their lives and families. The men I meet on the internet have either chosen a life of batchelorhood, or have been severly burned by a woman or women that they can not commit emotionally. Like you I cannot drag myself out of my room and when I do I always feel like I wasted my time, money and energy on a fruitless quest for life. I can't even imagine my life in ten years. I have tried all of the antidepressants and the side effects are not worth the little bit of relief they offer. I have always remained somewhat depressed even while on medication. After many years I have not found a psychiatrist/psychologist in my area that undersands my lonliness and pain. The think joining a book club will cure you. Well, I ramble. Good luck in your quest for connection, especially during the holiday season. I know its hard to hang in there, at least it is for me.
Bonster3of FL4:57PM December 22, 2008
Can artists create a master of piece with company?can artists be creative without feel the pain and the loneliness?...sometimes artists need to hide in order to create,and they refuse the company because they want to do the best job,they feel the needs to be different,is that right?or they are different?I am one of them,but I like and hate in the same time to spend long time alone,I really need to live in my dimension,in the same time,probably after 1 second,I would love to meet thousends of people,but,I know they won't be the same like my creation....sometimes I forget I got friends around me and good people,but I just think about my job (i don't do it for a living but for me is a job),is like I live in another dimension and nobody could ever understand,it is better for me to stay apart from reality,this happen when the creation is infinite,it never stop,the loneliness will be long,very long.........we love and hate this loneliness,is that an intelligent behaviour?share is good,but,when the big creation come we must answer (I do so..)...for me is like a calling from another dimension, and when it comes I even dream a lot everyday and night, I even write my dreams every morning when I wake up ,that is my company....I can say I live my loneliness with my dreams,and the art is my best friend,or vice versa
luca cappaiof 8:10PM December 06, 2008
There are plenty of us just like you out here. Having personal experience with most of what you wrote, I'd say you may be chronically depressed, and possibly have low thyroid and need meds for both - They will get to the core of your mental problems, so you feel like tackling exercise, diet, being sociable. The best way to feel better is to get yourself out there and serve others in need in some way - it is a great healer.After our daughter's suicide, my husband, with my prodding, started a Senior Citizens group - from 6 people, and it grew to over 200 members in a small community. He then designed a large living room with huge fireplace, in the SC facility - for games, lectures, reading, crafts, and best of all began the Lunch on Wednesdays for the Seniors.Then he founded a SC Thrift Store which provided special Senior trips. He worked his tail off - but his heartache moved further back in his heart, and he soon became Mayor of the small town. I would be glad to discuss your situation further, if you like. I am a young 76.
Marylyn Rohof UT8:47PM November 22, 2008
going through a phase in my life @ 55
choosing solitude, having friends, grand child even, people are out there for me,
feelings of exhaustion due to smoking, being
overweight, aging, lack of exercise, feeling stuck and rooted in this but unable to start a new routine.Understand the law of attraction,thinking about having some attraction to exercise into my life...
beginning to read some things thinking perhaps i might kick start some movement.
wondering, not worrying that my age can be a contibuting factor, unable to give my body what it needs in a compassionate non volitel, natural way. Tell me I have to walk or I will die, some kind of loving, and gentle nudge
understanding....I feel like a lug, dont want to go outside and walk, although I see others doing it,and I admire them, I understand they might get joy from their walk, but I sit, watch them out my window
cook, clean, do chores, think of creative projects, dont go walk, I dont ever want to answer the phone, always someone wanting me to come out, come over, a needy daughter two kids and a constant supply of dirty dishes and laundry, my job is helping others do their daily chores, am I emotionally burned out? I think Im a good woman, I know I am intellegent, but, always something to keep me from execising outside, I have a trampoline;
country side to walk quietly in/ a dog that would love to go with me.
feeling hopeless in this regard, but fearful as well. Am I on a road to early death?
my family, on my fathers side has a history of heart disease
, could my heart already be diseased. Im uninsured, and ignorance is always bliss to me, there for no doctors tests, in my future
Im just curious, out there in cyber land
are there others on my track?
Can we share stories, can we match a pattern
help one another to move out of this slump?
Im tired of feeling tired and pulled away from taking care of myself, but it takes me 3 days to rest up, and I cant get those three days
so I find it unable to start something new
cant fit it on the list
is it biology? emotional trouble? heart disease. does it need a name?... are there others feeling slughish at 55? and pushing through it, or not? how long of pushing through it will it take to feel well?
I dont feel Ill, I just feel like my age is getting me weak...Could a lack of intimacy cause me to hunker down and lay low? Does this lack of personal intimacy on a physical as well as emotional level cause me
cronic inactivity? could I have too much intimacy? is lonely ness drepssion
is depression hard on your heart
do antidepressants hurt your heart?
I would so be interested in alot of people commenting on this
lindaof MI4:16PM November 16, 2008
We've heard it before!! Eat good, drink smart & spend time with friends! Easy enough!
http://gunghogoo.blogspot.com/of NY8:44AM November 14, 2008
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daniel of NY 3:24PM February 24, 2009
Donna of NC 2:52PM February 24, 2009
Dorothy Anderson of MI 12:31PM February 05, 2009
Kathleen of NY 11:20AM January 30, 2009
of 2:46PM January 27, 2009
Bonster3 of FL 4:57PM December 22, 2008
luca cappai of 8:10PM December 06, 2008
Marylyn Roh of UT 8:47PM November 22, 2008
linda of MI 4:16PM November 16, 2008
http://gunghogoo.blogspot.com/ of NY 8:44AM November 14, 2008