Why Loneliness Is Bad for Your Health

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I have been lonely all of my life, pushed aside when I was a child, by my parents, after having my children and when they became grown, they decided that they didn't want to be bothered that they had their own life. The few people whom I tried to be a friend to I found out that they was not my friend. After being a caregiver to my Mom who passed away this year in May a day after Mother's Day, I finally realized how lonely I was. The few people who I knew only called me when they needed something or when they had a question for me. I am alone I have no family that care's anything about me or for me. I sometimes wonder if I am going to die alone, after caring for my Mom on my disability check they decided to cut my check and now I am struggling my son's don't even call to see if I am okay they knowing that I don't have anyone. I meet this man here and because I wouldn't allow him to drive my car he began to be mean and hateful to me, he even said that he would have me killed if he wanted to. I told my eldest son about it and he listened and said nothing to the threats. I was speaking to a long lost friend whom I finally got back incontact with she lives in New York, and she stress that I leave CA, but I told here there is no way that I can leave right now, because I don't have the means to leave. I told her that I am trusting in the Lord to make a way for me to get out of here. I tried going to church but the people in the church made me feel unwelcome, especially after I told the Pastor about the death of my Mom he acted as though I was bothering me. I know that I am a good person and I know that the Lord has not forgotten me or forsaken me, I am going to keep trusting in him like I did when I was a child sitting under the Dilly tree, talking to everyone who would listen that one day I was going to leave my place of birth, because I had no one there who loved me or care for me. I know that the Lord is going to open doors that has been closed to me for a long time to give me the people in my life that is deserving of my friendship, and my love I know this and feel this in my heart. And for the compassionate people out here that feel my pain, and understand my situation, God bless you all and for the less compassionate one's I pray that you wouldn't suffer the injustice that I am suffering for no one should have to be alone and mistreated in the way that I have been mistreated. I am one of the most loving and kindest person you would ever want to meet, and as you know to well bad things also happens to good people, and although these things has happened to me, I know that the Lord has a plan for me, if it will be here on earth I know for sure it will be when I will be with him one day in glory. I am blessed with the gift of giving and sharing, and some people have taken my kindness for granted, especially my children of whom I was a single parent to, I was the parent who choose to stay when their Father's decided to run.

JJSherman of CA 12:30AM August 26, 2009

After reading this article I clearly see a reflection of myself, my life and my future. Yes I am a very lonely person. About 95-98% of my life, or what I do is by myself. Although I've been married for almost 30 years, we have two adult children who are on their way toward developing their own lives. I'm from a fairly large family with 9 siblings and I have little to no communication with any of them. And most of us live within the same regions. However they have dinners, trips, get-togethers, parties - and I'm never there. Growing up with my siblings, I was always distant and very different in alot of ways. Moving just about a hour drive away from the immediate area where most of the families reside - didn't seem like a great issue, but now well over 10 years; no one ever bothers to come visit, call & nothing. When other family members fly in for visits - I'm definetly not included. I eventually hear about information way down the grapevine. Well how have been handling this huge issue? Your acticle is right on point. I've gained alot more weight, I stay in the house all the time, I don't have socialable friends in the neighborhood, I don't even know my neighbors and I've been here almost 10 years! I do go to church often, but I haven't made much friends there either. I try to make friends through my jobs - and working at a few different locations, I have walked away with just a very small handfull of a few good people that I do consider as good friends. And get this - the good, good friends I have come to love, cherish and admire; have all moved far, far away, yet we keep in touch on the phone like they still live around the corner from me. I've often thought that I do need counseling on this issue, and I admit I do have a big issue on 'trust factors'. Okay, enough for now, but thank you for writing a really good article the subject. What's a reference material I can read to help me, please advise. Thank you.

P. Henry of CA 9:22PM August 25, 2009

Is this article written by Nancy Easley Schulte from Indiana?

Connie Occhipinti of FL 1:43PM August 06, 2009

I moved to Kansas from California to live with my son, daughter-in-low and two grandchildren, because I was living alone two yeare prior and was taken advantage by a 26-year old woman whose dad was in the Russian mafia and fighting threats from at least a dozen organizations to whom I owe on cars, jewelry, and other merchandise too numerous to list. This happened two years ago in July and August 2007. That 26-year old girl named Cindy promised me love, marriage, and $100,000, from her dad and two of his lieutenants. Like a damn fool, I signed contracts after contacts, I am fighting Citigroup and learned that one of her dad's lieutenants had a car accident in California last January and is charging me more than $23,000. I should have ran away from that woman like a scared jackrabbit, but that's what loneliness did to me.
I just turned 78 on June 2nd and getting involved with a woman one-third my age with no love, no money and six figures in potential debt did minus for me. I learned my lesson and never let my feelings get in the way of common sense. That's why I don't try to meet strangers on the Internet and such organizations as eharmony.com and match.com are to be looked on with suspicion. I knew a friend who had a bad experience with jdate.

Jack Golding of KS 5:13PM June 08, 2009

how we cook our food realy matters alot, i.e when u use pure vegetable oil or olive oil then you need to stir fry your greens or whatever you r cooking. for the individuals who crave for junk food you have atleast one day in every fourteen days when you can cheat on your diet and consume french fries, soda, cakes, ice cream etc. ofcourse in the evening one should go for very light fodd etc fruit salad, porridge, a mixture of steamed sweet and irish potatoes and bananas with a cup of herbal tea.
i pity those who consume complex carbohydtaes e.g spaghetti for supper.reflecting in my own life i am 29 years old male. i run for 10km every morning at a good pace, on friday, sat sunday i do some weights and do my long runs on saturday morning. i live and work at the sea level so i sweat alot. i take a glass of orange juice three times aweek, in the morning i normally carry my herbal tea to work. my breakfast is normaly eithers 200grams sesame seeds, 150gms cashew and 150gms peanuts with 4 slices brown bread dripping with honey. .............TO BE CONTINUED ( kindly pardon my splelling errors.)

MALAC McJOE 6:08AM March 27, 2009

Yes I have to agree with the author about the relationship between human biology and loneliness. Of course "feelings" I believe can be quantified possibly as neuro-chemicals between nerve rectors, thus manifesting into a physiological states such as aches, hallucinations, forgetfulness, for example on a down note and euphoria, love, excitement, on a high note. Just a short list of the varing degrees of human "emotions." The reason why I put quotations on "emotions" or "feelings" is because such things or states of being are relative to the individual. For example, cross-gender, cross-cultural, cross-economic, to name a few variables of influences can distort (not to distort in a completely negative of positive way but there is no constant variable in human emotions only inferances). However I do not wish to completely disqualify the study which concludes that most people when they feel lonely suffer from physiological symptoms, only to make a clear conversation on the matter. There is still more information in my opinion to be studyed about our brain or soul (depends on who you ask; a yogi or a neurosciencitist). How we strive to logical , tactile beings and yet emotional. The two seem to contradict one another, however I get the "feeling" that the two sides of us are our greatest gift. How we an be compassionate beyond reason and we can be calculating. Fasinating. I am only 24 but I hope the Heavenly Father grants me more time on His earth to understand this phenomena. Sorry for the spelling errors.

Chen Yiyuan of CO 4:28AM March 08, 2009

I've been married almost 50 years and to summerize that time in one word would be lonly. We don't spend much time together. I can't compete with his sports, TV computer. I try to find my own things to do, It helps some. Yes health problems do come because of loneliness.

Ginny of WA 5:40PM March 01, 2009

Yes I have to agree with the author about the relationship between human biology and loneliness. Of course "feelings" I believe can be quantified possibly as neuro-chemicals between nerve rectors, thus manifesting into a physiological states such as aches, hallucinations, forgetfulness, for example on a down note and euphoria, love, excitement, on a high note. Just a short list of the varing degrees of human "emotions." The reason why I put quotations on "emotions" or "feelings" is because such things or states of being are relative to the individual. For example, cross-gender, cross-cultural, cross-economic, to name a few variables of influences can distort (not to distort in a completely negative of positive way but there is no constant variable in human emotions only inferances). However I do not wish to completely disqualify the study which concludes that most people when they feel lonely suffer from physiological symptoms, only to make a clear conversation on the matter. There is still more information in my opinion to be studyed about our brain or soul (depends on who you ask; a yogi or a neurosciencitist). How we strive to logical , tactile beings and yet emotional. The two seem to contradict one another, however I get the "feeling" that the two sides of us are our greatest gift. How we an be compassionate beyond reason and we can be calculating. Fasinating. I am only 24 but I hope the Heavenly Father grants me more time on His earth to understand this phenomena. Sorry for the spelling errors.

naomie white of CO 7:43PM February 24, 2009

Dear Donna: You are not alone. I am a 57 year old man who is in a great marriage for the last 20.5 years. First of all, it seems like w your health and habits, you have so much going for you. Look at how many people are 58 and are sick everyday. Practice gratitude for that. But I agree-too many people in this world are wrapped up in themeelves. It stinks. It is wrong. But it is true. Do you believe in a higher power? Do you have a spiritual practice that you can engage in daily? Do you belong to a church? We cannot function without community. Find a cause that you are passionate about and volunteer. When you help othere, you forget about yourself. I do also recommend that you order or get a book called "Personal Village" by a man named Marv Thomas who addresses many ways that we can beat the pain of isolation in society. But more significantly know that there are people who are NOT wrapped up in themselves and your challenge should you choose to accept it-is to locate those people. The challenge is not easy-nobody ever said it was easy. Is it worth it? You bet. Life is too short to mope and every day is a gift. There are a lot of nice guys out there who need love as well. But not just love-they need someone to care for and share their life with. Blessings to u as you will get out of this.
Michael

Michael of NM 6:25PM February 24, 2009

Compared to some I guess I was lucky. My wife and I had 40 years of a wonderful marriage. I retired in 98 and we lived the good life of retirement until 2003 when she passed away with cancer. Since that time I ve had a bypass,however I m now very healthy and enjoy the hobbies I have along with my two little poddles Smoker and Sparkey--They are great companions . I don t think I could have made it without them during the first couple of years which were the toughest.
I am however, lonely and have found I can t run away from it.
No one I know of , ever said life is easy.
I guess I could say I m happy , but not fulfilled .
Maybe the day will come when I meet someone special and I m hoping it could be a lifelong situation

Tony Wise of AZ 5:56PM February 24, 2009