Why Loneliness Is Bad for Your Health

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i think all this is shit

roxana of CA 8:25PM September 15, 2010

Mhm ithink that we do need these types of social connections Because if we have connections will help us alot and take the Stress and make us fell Much better to talk to other people and Make new Friends and we couldnt survive whitout social connections

maria of TX 9:43AM May 21, 2010

We just moved from a lovely country where I and my family spent the last 9 years. However, as of July 31st, 2009, we moved to another country. Now I have to start all over!! I hate it! The other country, I had my lovely circle of friends, I had my wonderful job as an assistant teacher at a wonderful Montessori School, I had a life.
Now, here I was sitting all alone feeling miserable about the move, so I decided to take action and call the American Embassy to see if they could guide me in any way, and I did. They gave a few contact numbers and to make a long story short, I ended up starting a friendship with one lady. However, I felt all things were going okay, but I feel I put more of an effort into our friendship and I feel it's not coming back at me! I feel she is more independent than me and doesn't need me. Or at least she is giving that impression.
To tell you the truth, now I just don't even want any friends, I prefer to be alone, I've given up! I don't even know where to start or where to go. I'm in a foreign country and I wanted to start taking the language in an intense course, but this so-called "friend" put a damper on things! The day I was going to enroll in the course, she called and said she'd be interested too, but that she wanted to let the school know that she does not follow the same faith. I don't follow the school's faith either, however, I looked at it as I'm going to learn, not for religious purposes! So as a result of this, now I missed a whole week of the school, and because of her, we're having a lady come to our house 2 days a week in the late afternoon to teach the two of us.
The point is, she got what she wanted, and I didn't when it was my idea in the beginning. And when I approached her, in the very beginning about the class, she was not afraid to voice her opinion that she is not interested because of the religion.
I'm really pissed off! I'm a real soft forgiving person, and because of this, I get hurt really easy! I send down dishes to her home, maybe a pan of lasagna, or stuffed shells, or a pie, and not so much as a thank you, no phone call nothing!
Now you tell me, what you think and now you can see why I'm depressed and want to be alone!
Yours faithfully,
Neena

Neena 2:07AM February 01, 2010

Yes, I do agree that lonliness is very detrimental to your health. It also acompanys other things: Such as depression, anxiety, and despair. Many individuals that are what much of the world considers ( oddballs) are truely people that do not desire to isolate themselves from others but by being overwhelmed by some of the things listed above makes this person feel this way. Everyone needs someone that they can connect to. Just by having a connection with others can drastically decrease depression, anxiety and the feeling of other horrible interferances in life.
If you know someone that does'nt socialize with you or with others, try not to stereotype the person as being cold or but perhaps they just need someone to help them get out of their shell.

Brian of NY 3:32PM January 18, 2010

Lucy, thank you for your thoughtful comments on the positive aspects of solitude. There is definitely an upside, particularly for people who are introverted, and for people undertaking creative work.
One of the best books ever on the subject is "Solitude: A Return to the Self" by Anthony Storr. He argues that our culture puts too much emphasis on finding fulfillment through others, and that for many people, time with themselves is deeply satisfying.
Bottom line: It's all about balance, and knowing what's healthy for you.

Nancy Shute of DC 9:41AM December 02, 2009

Amen!Loneliness made me do crazy and stupid thing. Especially when it came to the opposite sex.

Jack Golding of KS 5:26PM December 01, 2009

Two things - I was somewhat suprised that loneliness was so intimately connected to social isolation. Many many people choose social isolation and don't experience loneliness as a result of this. They greatly enjoy and prefer being alone and I'm unfamiliar with this having any impact on health, given you control for appropriate factors.
Similarly, there seems to be a collapse here between different concepts of loneliness, one which involves a lack of physical or other direct connection and one which involves a disconnect between the individual and his society. In the latter case, often the individual's sense of "loneliness" is attributable to the lack of people with whom he can communicate and connect on relevant topics or even more broadly, driven by the perception or reality that society as a whole is incompatible with his beliefs and desires. For someone experiencing this sort of loneliness, discussing someone's weekend does not ameliorate things. If anything, it will exacerbate the problem.
I just found this a rather simplistic discussion and potentially dangerous to the extent that it dispenses advice that needs to be individually tailored. Moreover, it perpetuates the already too powerful stigma against people who choose not to socialize with others. Yes, it may have been useful in prehistoric times but we do not live in prehistoric times and most of the value added to society in recent time comes from individuals who, in private, dedicate themselves to their individual callings.

Lucy of NY 2:52PM December 01, 2009

This arcticle seems to be right on the dot. I grew up in europe, where I wasn't faced with to much of loneliness. Once I got "married" to the military and immigrated to the states I had to learn that people are only temporary in your live and don't give to much about socializing. It also seemed hard to make friends as a couple, cause my husband is less of a socialbird when it comes to meeting new people; Therefore, I made friends and hung out with them away from him. So over the years I learned the best way to avoid suspicious and drama at home is not to make friends and bring them home. Not that this is all caused because of my husband, but also learned that he proved to be right alot of times, when I thought I had friends and got taken advantage of or talked about behind my back. So, I am still having a hard time understanding what happened with that aspect of my life. We are having one pre-teen daughter and it hurts to see that she is so different from me and always stays home and don't want to hang out with other kids, not getting her motivated. Which all that did result in overweight and I guess her being depressed, but she wouldn't talk about it. Motivation seems to be a problem in my family, which each one of us rely on the other, which results in nothing. I do agree with Ginny's comment about being married and growing apart, everybody does their owen thing. TV is in every bedroom and besides in the morning and after work is not much togetherness anymore.
Loneliness, it is hard to cure.. I sure lost myself at some point and see myself more alive at work than at home or on the phone talking to the very few good friends I maintained in live.
Searching for answers....

Rita of TX 4:43PM September 11, 2009

This article is extremely, and depressingly accurate!

A Lone of CO 12:55AM August 27, 2009

I'd like to see an article about the only child. I had one child. He did have half sisters, but they did not live with us,
so he was pretty much alone. I also had a friend who was an only child (son) - and who himself had an only child (son).
It appears as if an only child has problems in life. My son was a real "loner", and an introvert. But my friend seemed to be the opposite - aggressive in business, strong personality, and very very strict with his only son?? So different?
I'd like some thoughts about this...

Roberta J. Watson of OH 1:25PM August 26, 2009