I have 6 children,12 grandchildren. 3 boys and 3 girls. They are all adults. Each son has two boys. Two of my sons, have wives who are not interested in me and
want their husbnds to basically, abandon me. I am 81 years old, had major surgery and neither son nor his family (one who lives just a few minues away), offered me any assistance whatsoever during my recovery which is still in progress. They have deprived me of my four grandsons and treat me as if I am already dead. They are successful and I, apparently, do not fit into their lifestyle any longer. It is incredible to me that these boys who I raised, sent to college, were great fellows, got married and their wives totally changed them. Now, they are mere puppets of their controlling wives, and are afraid to even speak up to them. However, that is their business. My complaint is, that they have totally abandoned me and offered me no help whatsoever. I am a widow and live alone.
They are not the fine men I raised. They are the result now, of heartless, jealous,selfish wives who want to keep them to themselves. I am shocked by the behavior of my said two sons and their wives. They should be deeply ashamed of themselves, abandoning the sick mother/grandmother.
Siranoushof NH8:37PM March 16, 2013
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Peggyof NY9:34PM February 23, 2013
My father was very ill, in ICU, near death, or so the Dr. thought. Now home with hospice (a joke really) in a hosp. bed doing better. Since he was so abusive and mean to me forever it has been very difficult. Resent him being at home with the rest of the family (except me as I can't due to the abuse) caring for him (he never even utters a thank you for christ's sake but nothing new since he was always a selfish bastard. it was always all about him and still is. Why has god deserted us, why does he allow this torture to continue? Don't know what I'll do if it continues much longer--crack up probably, it's happened before, but he was never there for me, so why should I be now for him.
annof MA2:26PM February 15, 2013
I just feel so alone taking care of my Mom. My brother comes sometimes but his wife and kids never even call my Mom. They only live 50 minutes away and I know this all bothers my Mom. I feel like just telling them all to go to hell and they have no respect for my frail Mom. I guarantee they will be there when inheritance comes into play. My brother got almost a million dollars from my Dad and Nana when they passed. I was almost taken out of the whole trust that was partly mine. I am so angry and talking to my friends for support is just not the same. Why is my family doing this? They never offer to come and sit for a day so I may go and do something with my friends. I can't even go food shopping in peace and without worry that she might fall of something. I have extreme separation anxiety and I just want to spend every minute with her. I am so sad and just feel so alone.
michele spechtof NJ11:05AM December 16, 2012
1. While I was the one retired (and nearby) I was the one the work fell on. The parental care had virtually no day-to-day affect on my two siblings.
2. Given my mother was sliding into alzheimers, she was very demanding, very critical and never expressed gratitude for my help.
3. Shouldn't have to ask for help? After long months of going it alone, when I finally spoke with them asking for help, they reacted with venom.
6. Oldest sibling was a major disappointment to our parents in the teen years. My parents became bitter and that colored our home atmosphere forever.
7. Right to natural death? At mother's death, my sibling who was POA Health, actually directed that pain medication be withheld???
8. Inheritance? Rather than saying "share equally" in the will on real estate, the various items of real estate should be individually assigned. My siblings simply took what they wanted!
9. Mourning? My mother "did not like the look on my face" at the funeral. I was quiet, respectful but did not cry.
MARIE H SMITHof NC4:45PM December 12, 2012
Apart from my Dad, the one who is dying,I have not really anything to do with the family.I was ostracised years ago because (I believe) I had to come back to Northern Ireland in my 20's.I was ill two days after getting to Belfast in 1990,and I was turfed out.I do not think that I could go to my Dad's funeral because all the evil relations would be there.I attended my mother's funeral in 1993 and everyone asked why I was not working on the day.At the hospital I dread one of the evil relatives turning up when I visit.
GAIL1:24PM October 06, 2012
How do you think I should approach my father to move in with us if he is becoming mentally ill. He knows it, but is stuck in his ways and independence that he "thinks" he has. He asks neighbors & me to drive him everywhere already. He has seizures & still thinks he should walk to the store 6-7 blocks away. He has brain seizures only, but he "wakes up" in wierd situatins sometimes and thinks he can keep going on this way. His doctors can only offer brain surgury & he won't do it. I don't blame him, but I do want to help him. We can afford to care for him & have the space. We are far from rich or wealthy! BUT we want to be sure he is ok & we can afford to feed & care for him. What do you suggest to say to convince him to move in? I'm lost for words with him. He is only 62. I don't want to make him feel like an invalid or useless person. Or someone who can't think for themselves anymore, he still can, he just has his seizures & bad tings always happen. Thanks for your time. Have a wonderful day. Candace
Candaceof FL10:06AM September 17, 2012
I thought there were some very interesting points, on both sides, in this artical.
Love you,
R
Mumof WI7:27AM February 08, 2012
#6 is dead on. This is my mom with my brothers. They ask why do i think mom is having a hard time, they say She was fine when i came up to visit very happy. It causes me stress when she does this it's like my fault she is mad about life.
Opalof IN7:22PM January 08, 2012
The best thing I found is an automated pillbox. It's called MED-Q and is an "all-in;one" pillbox organizer. It beeps and flashes showing the individual box of pills to be taken at a predetermined time, twice a day. I don't have to call and remind them twice a day.
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Siranoush of NH 8:37PM March 16, 2013
Peggy of NY 9:34PM February 23, 2013
ann of MA 2:26PM February 15, 2013
michele specht of NJ 11:05AM December 16, 2012
MARIE H SMITH of NC 4:45PM December 12, 2012
GAIL 1:24PM October 06, 2012
Candace of FL 10:06AM September 17, 2012
Mum of WI 7:27AM February 08, 2012
Opal of IN 7:22PM January 08, 2012
Lee of AZ 4:14PM December 11, 2011