A Good Parent's Dilemma: Is Spanking Bad?

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You have a right and an obligation to discipline your children. You WANT your child to understand at a young age that disobeying authority results has negative consequences (REMEMBER: Some of the "monsters" who receive capital punishment or life in prison also likely have/had parents who loved them and probably did not want them to end up with a life or death sentence!) . Spanking is a disciplinary tool that can be used when dialogue and diplomacy fail -- a last resort. When what you say is being ignored and flagrantly disregarded -- you need to enhance your method of communication to achieve compliance. It is important to understand the difference between spanking and beating. Spanking is NOT a fly off the handle, in the heat of the moment reaction. It is a cool and calculated decision. I prefer to first warn that a spanking is coming if the negative behavior continues. This gives the child the opportunity to take control and avoid escalated discipline. If the negative behavior continues, it is imperative that you follow through and [calmly] administer a swift and brief spanking. Once you have their attention, you ask your child "why did I spank you?" Chances are, they know exactly why you spanked them and will confess. If they refuse, you tell them why you spanked them. Next, ask them why they keep ignoring your requests, and tell them why it's important to obey mom/dad. Finally, reaffirm them you do not like to spank and still love them. If you can get a hug at the end of the deal then you have succeeded and hopefully will see a reduction or elimination of the bad behavior. If you can't get a hug...it's ok!

JJ of MO 2:25PM September 21, 2012

Did you know that in the bible it says "If you don't discipline your children you don't love them" I didn't say it God did ......

Aaron of OK 12:19PM January 20, 2012

What is this country today ? Or perhaps the world ? If you look at statistics of the children that don't get punished, they are smart mouth punk kids that have no responsibility or respect for their elders. If people would stop thinking like tree hugging liberals and read the WORD OF GOD, the very same word that our country was founded on they would realize that even thousands of years ago God even said "spare the rod spoil the child". These days if you spank your own child, especially in public you are committing child abuse. I'm not saying that you need to hit them with a rod, but don't you people understand that all these psychologists that suggest that spanking is wrong, where do they get there information. They obtained a degree from a man made book, by men and for men . If you look at the United States these days we are more broke than any other country in the world. We also have the most sin than any other country. Do you know why it worked even a hundred years ago? Because people actually obeyed God and his commandments. We have now turned our back on him and look were we are. Who knows better man or God ? You decide

Aaron williams of OK 12:11PM January 20, 2012

Many people cannot control their impulses or rage, and what starts out as spanking can escalate as beating. Also, I believe it can contribute to unresolved anger as an adult.

Susan of IN 2:22PM November 03, 2011

its is a relly good thing

mike of CT 12:14PM May 24, 2011

yes i believe spanking is good. when i was younger my parents would spank me when ever i misbehave but the only bad thing about spanking is that i dont have a good communication with my parents because im scared of their reaction because we never sat down and talked why i misbehave they would just spank me.

laura of NH 8:10PM March 11, 2011

I lost it with my kid yesterday. I asked him to drink his milk before bedtime & he took a good 45 mins & he had finished nothing, I had had a long day at office & wanted to get some sleep.
I gave him a good spanking & he cried out a quite a bit. Later in the night I hugged him & told him I was sorry, he just hugged me & slept peacefully.
I feel terrible about myself for spanking him, he is a sweetheart & perfect for us. But I cannot get over the guilt at all. I can't talk to my wife as we don't share a good relation.
I know it's not ok to spank a child even once, I made up my mind to divert my frustration somewhere else if this happens again.
Sorry Joey for being a bad father.

Adam of AL 6:19AM December 16, 2010

I believe there is nothing wrong with spanking with love...I can remember being a child that was not spanked at all and I ran rough shot over my mother...I spoke to her anyway I chose...and had absoutely no respect...and no spanking is not to teach respect but I do believe children need to have a clear understanding of who is in charge...the courts, social workers, and pyschologists who all believe spanking is corporal punishment are not living in our homes with our children and should not have so much control to tell us what I do with my child...what gives them the right and what makes them know what is better for my child then I do...parenting needs to be taken out of the court system and given back to the parents...for me anybody who has suffered from depression or anything close to this from "spanking" was abused and not spanked there is a difference and it is about time that the difference is distinguished...all kids are not the same and you can not use the same tactics to get through to every child...spanking in small doses accompanied with timeouts, talking, taking away of priviledges all work together to raise a well balanced child.

Tashmari of CA 4:56PM July 05, 2010

I behave very very well since i got spanked by my mom. I also have been very obedient beyond logic for 17 years and still am. I however suffered depression for seven years....i lost my trust to my parents and to other people and i have lived in fear for all my life and since i got spanked, i have been very miserable and a jealous to death for other people's happiness....i have a hard time trusting people...why? simply because i don't know how other people will behave to me....If my mom was so capable of doing such a cruel thing to me as spanking, imagine what other people will do to me. They might even rape me. What reasons do i have to believe otherwise?
is that what you want your kids to feel? even if that's only me. why risk it for your kids?

johnny 2:31PM July 01, 2010

One of the things that has bothered me sooooo much, irregardless of the spanking issue, is that fact that the kids seem to be in charge. How many times have you seen parents out in public, negotiating with a child? Are you kidding me? But it happens constantly. Parents have completely forgotten that they own the air their child breathes!!!! Kids need parents, someone to tell them right from wrong, because they do not have enough life experience to make that decision for themselves. That includes making decisions on where they are going, how long they are staying, what they are eating, everything. And I mean everything!!! They are kids people, not adults!!! When that is not done, the child can literally run or in many cases ruin, the life of any parent or set of parents. Our children are supposed to accompany us thru life until they are old enough to make their own decisions, we are not supposed to run our lives according to what they want. This is what sooooo many folks do not get. Our job is to educate them, and give them the tools to make better decisions later in life.
I happen to think spanking is fine for some children if its needed to remind the child who is in charge. That is the one thing that MUST be instilled at the youngest age possible. We, as adults, have the knowledge, experience and know-how, not a 3 year old. We must remain in charge, or the kids will be lost from the get-go.

Allen S of CA 7:32PM April 15, 2010