5 Comments Parents Should Never Make About Weight

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The most important thing that you can do for your child is to role model healthy eating, exercise, as well as a positive body image. Definately watch your language. Be aware of your own feelings and learn how to communicate them.

Ilissa Banhazl, Marriage and Family Therapy of CA 3:23AM February 10, 2011

The most important thing that you can do for your child is to be a role model by demonstrating healthy eating and exercise and having an awareness of your feelings and an ability to communicate them.

Ilissa Banhazl, Marriage and Family Therapy of CA 3:18AM February 10, 2011

People tiptoeing around the weight issue with their kids. I am chinese and my mom has been calling me fat from age 8. In fact I recall her calling me fat when I was 5'2 weighing 95lbs (my natural weight in highschool). I think calling people fat helps them keep from getting fat. I am much bigger now (125lbs)but never will I become actually fat. It seems to be that all the people i meet in life that actually develop eating disorders have much bigger mental issues that they need to work out first. if someone is not predisposed to an eating disorder they will not get one even if they get called fat all the time. LOOK INTO THE DEEPER ISSUES PEOPLE!!

fuzzywuzzywoo of CA 4:35PM February 08, 2011

Don't let it bother you your butts like the families. We all call ours trailer.

Laura of AZ 3:33PM February 08, 2011

Barbie dolls and the Barbie movie are the pits. The girls I used to babysit actually owned the video of the Barbie movie and watched it a lot. No big surprise that one of them became anorexic.
I think I did call it to my son's attention when he started to put on too much weight around 10. We had to buy large pants and hem them up to be shorter. Mostly I asked that he not stuff on favorite foods. I asked that he wait 15 minutes before having more. I don't think he ever came to get more of anything after 15 minutes. I also would suggest he listen to his body.
Maybe I was wrong. Hard to be sure. But he did not develop any obvious eating disorder.
To reduce the likelihood of overeating just to fit dessert in, if there were a special dessert, I would let my kids have dessert in moderation first instead of last.

Frances Griffin of CA 4:05AM February 08, 2011

This isn't a comment, it is a question. My sister is 22 and I am almost sure she has an eating disorder. I think she has had for years. I don't know how to help her and I know I can't make her talk to someone or go into therapy but I know she needs help. Any suggestions?

Marie Gallagher of MT 12:49AM February 08, 2011

So sad, so insidious, so pathetic how we in our unthinking comments have ( in the past and in the present continue to) hurt those closest to us - our own children. It is so important we all pause to learn from this so we may sensitize to the needs of our children, and grow into healthier individuals, relationships, families, and society.

Zigfried54 of OH 9:35PM February 07, 2011

It is important that we consider our child's health and part of this is observing their lifestyle. If we see them overeating and not exercising are we to keep our mouth's shut? I am distressed to know my daughter doesn't want to exercise or eat more healthy foods. In the long run it is self sabotage! If we care we try to help. After all, respect yourself so others do the same.

B. Thomas of VA 8:16AM December 06, 2010

This is an excellent list. Regardless of the communication the parent believes is being made, the parent is actually showing a mind set that magnifies the issues of weight and appearance.
The child doesn't hear the details of the message. She hears that everything important about her has to do with her weight. #3 is especially disheartening because it shows that the parent has been concerned about weight and appearance before the daughter was even born.
What could be much better is to speak to the daughter about all the many other aspects of livng that build satisfaction, skills, competence and joy. The weight and appearance are only part of the entire constellation of the daughter's life and of her concerns.
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Los Angeles psychotherapist
author: Healing Your Hungry Heart

Joanna Poppink, MFT of CA 1:05AM September 19, 2010