Oprah's One-Sided Approach to Domestic Violence

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Is it okay for Rhianna to hit someone and then be praised for it, she admitted that she hit him when she said in the 20/20 interview (IF I HIT HIM). What gives her the right.She should be receiving counceling as well because she came from an abusive home also. And in my opinion Oprah was one sided on the topic, I loathe any man that abuses anyone but does that justify the actions of abusive women such as Rhianna.Oprah should have been sympathetic to both these youug adults, Rhianna is an abuser as well,and she needs help also the only difference is, one is a man and one is a woman.

Shar of GA 2:52PM November 20, 2009

Black People like Tyra, Oprah Winfrey, whom has received the fortunate blessings of fame & prestige, wealth & power, from her endeavors or from a class society as the American system that seek capitalization on ethnic inclusion but for exploitative reasons. If Tyra is really aware of the global PR power she wields on women and especially the gradual erosion of the original black woman (values, virtue, culture and style). She must incorporate her roots and her heritage into the bigger scope of things in her industry that has a grip on the young black women’s focus on what is important in life and what role you are called to play in family and in community and your nation. A shocking number 5.8 million blacks (kids and adults, male and female) are in jail, prison, correction facilities. Imagine if black mothers and fathers of these unfortunate black prisoners did an excellent parenting jobs, black family would have more likes of Trya, Doctors, play writes, nurses, pilots, Cosbys, Mae Jamisons, Alice Walkers, Frances Ellen Watkins Harpers, Henry Gates, Patricia Ann Thomas, Will Smith . While blacks are chasing after all the fake things of life, such as fake wigs, fake nails, fake eyes, fake boobs, fake cocaine, fake music (lil wayne, Gucci mane) fake clothes, fake life style, fake culture- none black or African, they forget the essential things of life, The Family where it all began, life. Black man has return to the dark ages of slavery and oppression in the 21st. century. The oppressor has no obligation to tell you anything, the staggering numbers of black murders and black prisoners should tell you, your fate and the fate of those that would come after. Joseph Eshimakuni Onaivi Ukonga.

Joseph Eshimakuni Ukonga of IL 10:07AM November 04, 2009

I agree with Winfrey and also applaud her...statistics show that abusers will always try to play the "victim card" or rationalize their abuse in some way. But there's no excuse for abuse! I myself was the victim of domestic violence by my husband of almost 6 years, we were together 9 years total since I was 18 years old. I was young when we met, he was 5 years older and he told me everything I wanted to hear. The abuse started within the first few months and continued until I had to press charges for the 3rd time and get a restraining order, something I should have done years earlier. Our 3 girls witnessed all of the abuse and the oldest (now 8) has been the most traumatized. He served 6 months for his crime but now is trying to take my kids away from me with his fancy lawyers. Even though there are court orders for him to pay me support, which I could get an attorney with, he won't pay and threatens me I'll never see a dime. He convinces the judge that he's trying to get better and she buys it! My kids are scared of him and don't want to go with him, but he spoils them with fancy gifts to entice them...all manipulation. The sad thing is, he will just end up abusing his new girlfriend who won't listen to me, she thinks he's so nice! Or, he'll end up hurting one of our daughters when he tries to control them...it's a sad system and I'm so glad there are strong fearless women like Winfrey that are willing to call it like it is...NO EXCUSES! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MUST BE STOPPED OR MORE PEOPLE WILL BE VICTIMIZED AND/OR FATALLY HARMED INCLUDING OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN! Thanks Oprah!

MAGGIE HAYRIKIAN of CA 4:51PM October 09, 2009

Daniel Malley, you're a sick bastard. What victims black men are. Somebody makes them pick up guns and murder each other, they aren't to blame. Let's all be jealous when people who aren't violent don't experience violence. That just means they're "spoiled". You have crazy, twisted, sick reasoning. You sound mentally disturbed.

. of MO 10:56AM September 22, 2009

hey my name is tanesha livingston from cincinnati,oh and have a comment to say about the whole topic of chris brown beating on rihannah. I feel that no it was not rite for him to put his hands on any women, domestic violence is not the key of solving problems, it should of been handled in a different way. on the otherhand, i feel that chris is taking account for his actions and that he is real sorry for what happened. pointing all the fingers at chris is not right. yes he made a mistake but keep throwing it up in the media is not right. its done and its over with. just let it be. he appoligized and its over with. there are normal everyday people who goes through the same situation and thier is not a big topic on them!

tanesha livingston of OH 12:50AM September 11, 2009

hey my name is tanesha livingston from cincinnati,oh and have a comment to say about the whole topic of chris brown beating on rihannah. I feel that no it was not rite for him to put his hands on any women, domestic violence is not the key of solving problems, it should of been handled in a different way. on the otherhand, i feel that chris is taking account for his actions and that he is real sorry for what happened. pointing all the fingers at chris is not right. yes he made a mistake but keep throwing it up in the media is not right. its done and its over with. just let it be. he appoligized and its over with. there are normal everyday people who goes through the same situation and thier is not a big topic on them!

tanesha livingston of OH 12:50AM September 11, 2009

It's not one-sided. We are too used to giving perps rights and sympathy.
Notice the media - "women raped" - raped by who? We linguistically give free passes to men.
Notice the articles on domestic violence - "nice guy" "snaps" - you know what, nice guys dont kill their wives. Snap is not in the DMS - it is a poor excuse for explaining domestic violence.
Notice people's reactions -
Why doesnt SHE leave (but, ummm, excuse me, what about the perp? why doesnt HE stop hitting her?)
Or their reaction to Rihanna-
SHE deserved it. (does anyone deserve to have the crap knocked out of them, esp by a middle weight vs. a feather weight????) We have a generation of youth that believe women deserve to be beaten if they step out of line.
We most hold abusers accountable. No more free passes. Vick got into more trouble abusing animals than he would have if he abused women. More animal shelters in this country than DV shelters. Certainly more sympathy and nobody saying, why doesnt the dog just run away?
I have no sympathy for a man that chooses to use violence against a woman. None. Nada.

Jo of DC 10:23AM September 08, 2009

I understand how hard it is to have an injury or an illness and be abandoned by your country. I was diagnosed with systemic lupus at age 23, right when I got out of college and off of my parents' health insurance, and in one fell stroke went my chances of a career or even of supporting myself--which in turn made me unmarriagable as well, since no one with a brain wants the liability for my medical bills. I'm not the one who broke the health care market, which is operating in a very dysfunctional manner with prices too high to be affordable except with good insurance which is denied to many of us. Americans pay more per person than any other country for health care and yet over 18,000 DIE each year due to not being able to get health insurance. I had to stay in dire poverty to get my health coverage and the stress of that, plus needing to beg from family and friends all the time, made me a lot sicker than I needed to be. Of course in our toxic political atmosphere nothing gets solved and in fact even bringing up such situations here in California Gone Mad (our Governor no longer believes in any social services as the anti-tax groups have been manipulated into frothing at the mouth at this point and one of his latest cuts was ALL of the funding for our domestic violence shelters) is a good way to become a target of the very radical right wing. Never mind that Eisenhower and even Nixon wanted national health insurance. Anyway, we need to keep speaking out anywhere we can so that people know that you can work hard in the U.S. and do your best and still end up in big trouble because our safety net has holes in it a lot bigger than the ones in Swiss cheese. And it is to the advantage of all Americans to patch up those holes, because any one of us could be knocked over by a germ or a person or a truck tomorrow. Only the small numbers of super rich are safe. Since they own the media outlets, however, it's hard to find any reality on tv any more. I guess a little seeps onto the Internet every now and then. Anyway, it is exhausting, but you've got to keep fighting. Seriously write to local tv channels and to all of your political representatives. Contact all of these people: http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/free-legal-aid-new-york.html http://www.lawhelp.org/Ny/ In New York you CAN STILL SURVIVE despite what has happened to you. Now if you were in Mississippi, or now CA, I might have different advice...

Beep of CA 5:13AM September 08, 2009

My Dad once told me that when a man and a woman married, the man expected the woman to stay the same and the woman expected the man to change. What actually happens is that the man stays the same . . . and the woman changes.
How often have you seen women marry men who were absolute bums (and, of course, the other way around, but it seems much less so)? Fully expecting that marriage is going to change them? It seems like men who abuse their wives, who leave them, have no trouble finding another wife, who they abuse and who leave them, and then another wive . . .
Does our society make women so desperate to be "married" that they are willing to look the other way from obvious character flaws? They say love is blind, but deaf too? Don't get me wrong, we men aren't much better, if at all. We're just driven by different needs. A friend in college once told me that love was 90% frustration and 10% imagination. The older I get the more I believe him. Dad also told me that men pretend at love to get sex and women pretend at sex to get love. I sure hope I get as smart as Dad someday.

Alan of CA 11:45PM September 07, 2009

I do not condone spousal abuse, whether it's physical abuse typical of men against women, or psychological abuse of women against men. Women attack their husbands the same way they attack each other. They attack their self esteem and their relationships. They belittle them for their lack of successes in life, they criticize their behavior, their appearance, and their friends. Do all women do this? Of course not, but I bet it's a much larger fraction of the female populating than that of men that physically abuse women.
In a very simplistic sense men physically attack women in their lives in order to try and feel in control (they attack each other for the same reason). Women psychologically attack the men in their lives for exactly the same reason - except that there are no laws against psychological abuse. Hence my belief that it is likely much more common. But there is no physical evidence of psychological abuse - a necessary ingredient for legal prosecution in our society.
We had some friends who were outwardly a very loving couple, except that he insisted in buying all of her clothes, including her underwear. She finally had an affair with another good friend. Retaliation, or escape? We knew another couple who I never saw together when she wasn't berating him. The man could do nothing right in her eyes, and she regularly told him so. He finally left her (when their boys were both in college) and has never been happier (except for the dent in his retirement funds, psychological abuse doesn't buy you anything in divorce court). But she never struck him (nor he her).
This, of course, is further complicated by the male edict to "tough it out" and "suck it up". Girls don't generally psychologically attack boys the way they do each other growing up - the relationships simply aren't there for social attacks to work. So we men are ill-equipped to deal with psychological attacks from our spouses. We never learned how.
Modern boy-girl relationships are much more open in today's school kids, I think, and so this may be changing as boys become more familiar with girl behavior. But it isn't going to go away and we are long past the time where it needs to be recognized.

Alan of CA 11:27PM September 07, 2009