What Rihanna Can Teach Us About Domestic Violence

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nice :)
thanks for article

jebanje of AL 7:50AM February 15, 2011

i no how it feels 2 b physicaly and emotionaly abused by someone you love. I was in this relationship for 3 yrs, at first i thought id met my dream man. He was very loving and caring and seemed 2 enjoy helping me with housework and financially. although at nite he drank alcohol n became was very loud n after a while this became quite annoying! At first i didnt really c it as much ov a problem so i ignored it and carried on. He bought me a car n moved in my place. after a short time he began demanding meals n his washing n cleanin 2 b done. Once agen this irrated me but as he was 'payin his way' he and i both expected it. Then he became violent he hit me on many occasions. I can rememba 1 nite he was drunk n askd me 4 the car keys, i told him no n that he wasnt drink driving. He hit me several times in the face with a unopend beer can breaking my nose, fracturing my jaw,chippin my teeth and givin me concusion. He used 2 blame his violence on drink, stress, worry,anger problems, me! anything 2 justify 2 himself wot he had done and 2 persude me bak. I believed his excuses n exceptd his apologies. i spent 3 days in hospital after another attack which happend because i refused 2 let him in the hse drunk n shouting. He smashd my window climed in and beat me with a stool. All this happend wen our 1 yr old daughter was in bed! I wanted 2 leave so many times and i tried i was just so scared ov him, ov losing my child, i new if i left he'd kill me! The social services refferd me 2 a group called the feedom project. Its helps pple understand domestic violence, i wasnt even aware i was being abused untill i started this group! Iam now safely in a refuge wiv my daughter and looking forward 2 getin my life bak.

jane moore 7:45PM June 21, 2010

My mother was always telling me that I was ugly and did not deserve anything in life, and that my sister was beautiful and deserved everything. My mother and sister are still saying things to hurt me to my grown sons, and now my mother has started being abusive to my son because he is not handsome enough for her. Also, I have been effected with low self esteem from the abuse and have been in abusive relationships with me, in this one for the past 16 years and it is getting worse and I have to move on with no money or a car. Other than that, life is great :)

jeanne of CA 11:38AM April 09, 2010

Top Site! Kudos on the superb job!

PamelaAnderson of AL 11:23PM January 07, 2010

My friend Yasmin is charged with killing her boyfriend in a struggle over a gun. She has been charged with second degree murder. I have known her since kindergarten. No matter who you ask, all of this is shocking. She was always such a nice person. A lot of people remember her as smart and she was smart. But I remember her as a nice sweet person. She was laid back and just never bothered anybody. She was funny. I took pride in seeing my girl do her thing. She got As, played basketball, was class president, got all kinds of awards and didn’t get the big head. She is not in jail now. The judge let her out without even having to pay bail. Some folks who went to the hearing said the lawyers showed pictures of fist holes in the walls and marks from her head on the walls because she was dying her hair when all this broke out. It was his gun. I wondered why her hair was such a mess. I don’t know what happened that day. I just believe my girl was fighting for her life. I guess if her face had been blown away or if she had been killed then people would understand that. It seems that everyday I am watching a news story about a woman who did not make it out. But because she is one of the few who made it people think she has to be guilty. I know she is innocent. Falling for the wrong guy does not make you a murderer. Her family is running out of money because people are hurting financially now and some are judging her by what they have read and not the person they have known. It really doesn’t bother me that people don’t think like I do because everybody doesn’t know her. What bothers me is that some have found her guilty already. They are not even giving her a chance to be proven innocent. If you are able then please help her at www.ylldf.org.

Janice of GA 12:01PM November 29, 2009

i was abused in 1971, by my husband. i came from a catholic family and di not want a failed marriage. until a young priest told me , that god would not want me to live this way, is when i divorced him. he beat me for anything, for burning the spagettie, for telling him to keep his co workers(men)from the house because they made me feel uncomfortable. he was an acoholic. he drankd in the morning before work and when he come home. the children and i never knew how his attitude would be when he come home from work, that at times we hid in the closet. sometimes i would just walk around the house until he would go to sleep. i had black and swollen eyes all the time. i even wore long sleeve shirts so people would not see the bruises. i could tell you so much, but it would take too long. to make a long story short, no one deserve any abuse. these are controlling men. i made as promise that no one would ever abuse me anymore. i went on and became a deputy sheriff in shreveport, la and recently retired after 18 years. i have talked to him and told him that i have forgiven him. anyone that read this and is being abused, please email me. i'll give you advice as best as i can. i prayed and prayed and god took this man out of my heart. we have to forgive, so we can go on with our lives. to rihanna, i am so sorry that this happened to you, it shows that anyone can be abused, the poor, the rich, the black white it doesn't matter. just know there is no justification for this. i may have been immature, but i was a good wife in my marriage. leave, there are shelters, family, friends that will support you. from an x abused

virginia toliver of LA 9:34PM November 13, 2009

Thx, this has definitely made my day!
_______________________
wtf

LarryXA of AL 3:28PM November 06, 2009

So please guide me well on how to approach and how to settle this without divorce. But my husband is 100% ready to take divorce and ready for second marriage.
He didn't give me any money even to come to India, or didn't show any concern towards me.He just left me like that. Me and my parents are struggling so much.
Now i am in India.I wanted to give a complaint on him and his family. How can i make him come here and take me to him and to live with him? Should i give a complaint in US or in India? Do i need to attend the US court or or can file a complaint in India or go to US? I don't know what to do know?
I have one more question? As he already filed for limited divorce and a domestic violence case on me will there be any problem for me to go to US? or any bad history on me? or finding any job? or can he get divorce from me without i signing on any papers? what are the disadvantages for me as he filed a domestic violence case on me? Is there a chance for him to cancel my visa documents and not allow me to come to US?
He moved out of the house where we used to live. I have no idea where he is living now? He is acting very smart. He and his family all are very well planned and did everything against me and making me very mentally and emotionally very weak, and not allowing me to stay with mental peace.
What is the best way for me to approach him and to stay together.
I am also attaching the screen shot of the case he filed against me, and the lawyer's letter who sent to me about the divorce case who informed me.
Please advice me what to do know and how to proceed and i not to be into any trouble.
Please advice me. Please..Please..

Deepthi of MD 7:40AM September 17, 2009

Then i again went to my house and told him that i wanted to be with him, but he didn't allow me to stay with him, and again blackmailed me that i will call the police and keep u in jail like that he scared me and forced me to go .As my parents ( husband parents came to US)are coming here if u stay here my mother will harrares you so u go to ur parents house and come after 5-6 months he told and moved me out. I believed his words and came back to India. He told that i will come to India and bring u here after 5 to 6 months. But after i left India he filed for Divorce and vacated the house we lived and preplanned made all the things and did what all he needs to do.
As i don't have anybody's support there.I went to my house and requested him thrice that i wanted to be with him. But he didn't allow me. At that time i am not interested in giving any police complaints against him. I wanted to solve the matter smoothly. But he and his sisters, and brother in law everybody forced me to get out of the house. As there is no other alternative to me i came back. As i am staying in my relatives house i stayed there for 4 months. As he didn't allow me and he brought his parents to US. Then he completely told my relatives also not to send me to his house and he trapped my relatives as well and made them do to his favor. and my relatives also acted in favor of him. He forwarded me the separation agreement and told me to sign on the agreement , i said i am not interested and didn't sign on any of the papers and i came back to india on June 26th 2009. After i came back from US my husband filed for a limited divorce and a Domestic violence case information report filed on me on 21st August 2009.
I am not interested in going for divorce with him and don't want to give divorce. But he is forcing me and doing what all he can do to get out of this marriage and planning to go for second marriage. He filed for divorce in Circuit court in Maryland. But i haven't received any papers regarding that.I am also attaching the screen shot what he filed on me.
I came to know all these by another lawyer, he sent me a letter saying that my husband filed divorce case against me, and sent me a letter.That he saw in some advertisement. I am also attaching that in this email. The letter has been mailed to my relatives house. Now as i am in India what should i do for my husband to not to get divorce.
Me and my parents were patiently waiting for him, as he will come and take me one or the other day. But when i came to know that he filed a divorce case against me, i decided that he is planning to get rid of me, and wanted to go for second marriage. Now what should i do. As i don't wanted to do any harm for him, i didn't file any case until now.
Now what action should i take. I have my Visa till May 20th of 2010. But i am not interested in giving divorce and have no shelter to live if i go to US. So i came back. Now please advice me what to do and how to proceed. I read so many of

Deepthi of MD 7:38AM September 17, 2009

Hello,
My name is Deepthi. I got married with my husband in May 25th 2005. I went to US on July 3rd 2005.Then because of dowry problems my husband sent me to India in 2006 and told be to bring the dowry money as his parents and relatives told him to send me, to India, he sent me and told me to bring that money. Then again in June 21st of 2008 we both came to India. Then there again raised so many problems of this dowry. My husband and my in laws verbally said so many bad words to me and my parents. Then he left me in India and told me to settle down all the things and then only come to US. So my parents gave what all they told to give. But even then after i took all those, my husband still craving for my earned salary that i sent to my parents and insisted me to get that money as well and the interest also. If not don't come.Then my parents gave all the money and with interest they gave more money than what they needs to give,but again still they asked for more dowry again, i said we can't give anymore, they later on finally sent me to US on sep 12th 2008.
But after i went to US my husband all the time used to shout and beat me, when i talk to my parents, and not used to talk to me and don't come home on time and he totally neglected me and all the time used to tell me to get out of the house. He made me mentally very upset and depressed a lot. I am so much emotionally and mentally and physically hurt with him.We stayed together in USA till feb 21st 2009. As he is harassing me beating me and verbally abusing me and all the time telling me to get out of the house ,and couple times kicked me out of the house, so i moved to my relatives house in USA on Feb 21st of 2009. Before that, he harassed me a lot, and he and his parents told me all the time to get me more dowry and sent me to my parents house in 2006, after one year of our marriage, then and there. But my parents arranged some of that. After that i worked in US for 1 1/2 year and during that time i sent some money to my parents, again they created lot of problem for that and they didn't allow me to talk to my parents, and then brought me to India and he left me in India without telling me he went first to US and preplanned made all the arrangements by the time i go to US. He hided all his pay stubs, locker keys, deposited my paychecks to his account and so many...from 2008 June, he wants me to give divorce to him. He and his, brother in law and sister and his friends forced me so many times to give him divorce.
He was holding all my immigration documents, gold, property documents and not giving me anything and blackmailing me all the time to give me divorce, then only i will give u all Ur things.Daily he was creating some or the other problem to me and not allowing me to stay with mental peace.So i am mentally very upset and moved to my relatives house. After going to my relatives house i applied for my EAD, Advance parole and went to the bank and brought all my gold and property document

Deepthi of MD 7:36AM September 17, 2009