Some Thoughts on Suicide in Middle-Aged Women

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white women are are not the only ones commiting suicide or experince isolation and kids leaving home etc etc..im an african american women experiencing it and thoughts of suicide constantly ...i was blessed enough to find a therpahist who is helping me thru this horrible time in my life ...but it makes me angry that we can do studies that tell Black women they are not attractive but yet ignore us on artilce that tell us how to better our mental health if and when we need it .....ridiculous and insulting

Nina of MI 12:38PM May 25, 2012

Please read this blog and reflect. If it matters to you that you've helped one person survive, please "Like" the blog. She says that if people cared and she got one million "Likes" that she will change her mind about committing suicide. She wants to know that someone cares and understands. Does the survival of one person matter to you? She thinks that the world has become immune to the concerns of one person that they don't know. Let's see... Her blog is www.nazedesho.com

tadashii of HI 3:43PM May 11, 2012

Hi. I am 45 years old. I empathize with everyone else. I read through all the posts. I know we have to be grateful for whatever we do have. I am currently in school, but have no idea if a job will be waiting for me when I am done due to my age. I have a soon to be ex husband (separated for 6 years) who decided that instead of our usual 1000-1200 dollars a month, he will only be paying us 300 dollars. I have two girls. I spent money on what I thought was an inexpensive lawyer for nothing, since the divorce will be contested and I have no more money to pay him additional fees.
Men do not look at me at all anymore. At all. As much as I've been told I am pretty my whole life, I have never had success with men. Even my ex did not touch me, save for a few times during our marriage. So I went out of this marriage excited at the prospect of finding someone. Since I still look younger than my age, I thought it would be great. Either internet porn has turned men off by real women or I really do look my age. It is very frightening to think you are not attractive to the opposite sex. They must sense when women are distraught.
So, very little luck with men, very little sex in my life, and now, no sex on the horizon. It's hard.

Sara of NY 8:38PM May 07, 2012

I am 54 with no family at all-no parents, partner, children or siblings-and I would often like to die and be out of it all. Having noone to turn to scares me a lot, and the thought of what will happen to me when I can no longer look after myself is terrifying. I have friends, but they have their own lives and their own problems, and friendship is not the same as family anyway. I wish I could share a house with a group of other single women without family as I age, so that we could help and support each other. Things which are frightening alone can be borne when there is a support network.

Chris 9:05AM April 27, 2012

I live in the UK and the situation, alas, is no easier on the dispossessed middle aged single lady here. I am a 49 year old livewire with an outgoing and innovative personality, artistic leanings (use to be a semi-pro singer), keep myself in good shape, and have worked in London as an EA, supporting myself entirely (paying my dues like every good citizen) for 10 years now; only to lose my job in Nov last and find, low and behold, that if ageism reared its ugly head five years ago when I was contracting, well, it is definitely having a detrimental impact on job applications now. Example: I had one recruitment agent begging me to take a role two years ago, one which wasn't suited for a number of legitimate reasons, and candidly remarking that the client was happy to have someone in the role who was, I quote, at the "end of their career"- how is 47 construed as the END of anyone's career? Has anyone ever mentioned this to Hilary Clinton!? If that prejudiced line of reasoning extends to all recruitment agents and potential employers then little wonder we find ourselves pushed from the shelf of relatively decent jobs as we approach 50. In addition, I have only just recently had an (unsuccessful) interview at a top PE firm, one where I cynically note ALL their Executive Assistants on Linkedin seem to be under 30. Funny that! How have my core skills (advanced IT) eroded or my brain cells greatly diminished to the extent where I am no longer desirable to firms in London? I realise the job market is competitive anyway, but just as with dating (and girls, have I gone down that route before, to scant avail) the edge invariably favours "younger". And as I have to pay my rent and am now reliant on benefits - I've worked my entire life - my future at the moment IS looking rather bleak. I feel incredible sorrow and empathy for those women posting here. I won't patronise you to find God, or go watch Oprah (though on ocassion that has lifted my spirits) or remark how you should have saved for a rainy day as I understand how life doesnt provide us with the chance for a rehearsal first. We all want just the basic level of security, and to feel loved, and although positive thinking is KEY to battling on, when the battle appears endless and age suggests diminishing chances, I understand how resilience and fortitude can be severely eroded, depression thus setting in. I KNOW that desire to want to just sleep forever and not wake up again! What I would say is this: my art, writing, vision and sense of purpose will NOT be defeated. It has seen me through Acute Myeloid Leukaemia as a child and I KNOW I will not define myself as a has-been because of the DOB on my passport, or the sagging jawline, or even if I have to come down to taking whatever I can get accommodation/job wise; which will be SFA locally. All we EVER have control over is how we perceive life. Yes it sucks. And yes, it is a gift - dont throw it away! Hang in there girls!

Lizzie 3:24PM February 19, 2012

I'm so sick of hearing about medications for depression. I think I see reality very clearly and it undermines my intelligence. I'm smart enough to know that a pill doesn't pay the bills or fix a house that is falling apart around you. It won't pay for my medical benefits and sure won't let me retire. I worked hard at a job I hated for 20 years, kept an old house from falling apart and raised a good son, while still dating and having a social life. People saw me as superwoman, and yeah, I felt like I was. I thought I did good, only to find at 45 that the job fell apart, the market took most of the savings and the house is deteriorating to a point of embarrassment. I can't find another job because my skills are limited. So if I live I exhaust everything and have nothing to give to my son, and at this rate it would probably only be another ten years until it's all gone, if that. I'm not sad. I'm mad! I'm not depressed. I'm tired. So please don't tell me to take meds or find God. Neither one is going to pay my bills. There's no miracle that's going to happen here that is going to change anything. Now I spend the days putting things in order because I won't leave things a mess. As soon as I've accomplished what I need to, I'll find peace. It sure doesn't exist here.

T of NJ of NJ 5:51PM December 26, 2011

i cant kill myself because my kids and parents. I have no friends. I am 42. I'm so tired of living with depression and fighting alcoholism.

kk of WA 11:06PM August 23, 2011

Just got my first computer so I probably won't be able to get this message out. I'm 52 have lived on disability for a long time. My family was violent and neglectful when I was growing up. I always knew they were sorry they had children - they told me. When I was grown I went in and out of mental hospitals -I just wasn't able to learn in school and had no life relationship skills. No clue. I'm very depressed. There really is no reason for me to live.

Cathy Conner of NY 12:02PM July 15, 2011

I'm not surprised that middle age woman are depressed and suicidal. What human being would not be, facing the devastating effects of menopause. If there is a god I think he should be put on trial for crimes against humanity. Maybe the devil is not so bad.The enemy of your enemy is my friend.
Looking forward to December 21 2012.

me 6:00PM May 14, 2011

I've read your comments and posts here. My heart aches for those of you whom opened up your heart with your posts.
I'm 52, almost 53, never had children. I was married for 16 years but have been single now for 14. Don't know how life passed by so quickly. Have struggled like many of you with depression, layoffs, not having family, etc.
Just wanted to say hello and hug yourself. You do have a purpose(and I struggled with this all the time) and my heart and compassion pours out to you!
Sonja in Texas

Sonja Funakura of TX 11:05PM May 07, 2011