Some Thoughts on Suicide in Middle-Aged Women

I wish I had the courage to take my life away. I think it would help my son not to have to worry about my impoverishment. I had to cancel a scheduled operation for an ovarian tumor next week because I cannot afford to take off any work and the recovery time will just cause homelessness without an income that never allowed for savings. And my employer was upset about my having to take time away. I raised my children well despite poverty. Both are professionals with master's degrees. I am proud of them. My work as a mother is done in the natural scheme of things. I would like to say good night so bad.

MiMi of MN 2:04AM August 14, 2012

white women are are not the only ones commiting suicide or experince isolation and kids leaving home etc etc..im an african american women experiencing it and thoughts of suicide constantly ...i was blessed enough to find a therpahist who is helping me thru this horrible time in my life ...but it makes me angry that we can do studies that tell Black women they are not attractive but yet ignore us on artilce that tell us how to better our mental health if and when we need it .....ridiculous and insulting

Nina of MI 12:38PM May 25, 2012

Hi. I am 45 years old. I empathize with everyone else. I read through all the posts. I know we have to be grateful for whatever we do have. I am currently in school, but have no idea if a job will be waiting for me when I am done due to my age. I have a soon to be ex husband (separated for 6 years) who decided that instead of our usual 1000-1200 dollars a month, he will only be paying us 300 dollars. I have two girls. I spent money on what I thought was an inexpensive lawyer for nothing, since the divorce will be contested and I have no more money to pay him additional fees.

Men do not look at me at all anymore. At all. As much as I've been told I am pretty my whole life, I have never had success with men. Even my ex did not touch me, save for a few times during our marriage. So I went out of this marriage excited at the prospect of finding someone. Since I still look younger than my age, I thought it would be great. Either internet porn has turned men off by real women or I really do look my age. It is very frightening to think you are not attractive to the opposite sex. They must sense when women are distraught.

So, very little luck with men, very little sex in my life, and now, no sex on the horizon. It's hard.

Sara of NY 8:38PM May 07, 2012

I live in the UK and the situation, alas, is no easier on the dispossessed middle aged single lady here. I am a 49 year old livewire with an outgoing and innovative personality, artistic leanings (use to be a semi-pro singer), keep myself in good shape, and have worked in London as an EA, supporting myself entirely (paying my dues like every good citizen) for 10 years now; only to lose my job in Nov last and find, low and behold, that if ageism reared its ugly head five years ago when I was contracting, well, it is definitely having a detrimental impact on job applications now. Example: I had one recruitment agent begging me to take a role two years ago, one which wasn't suited for a number of legitimate reasons, and candidly remarking that the client was happy to have someone in the role who was, I quote, at the "end of their career"- how is 47 construed as the END of anyone's career? Has anyone ever mentioned this to Hilary Clinton!? If that prejudiced line of reasoning extends to all recruitment agents and potential employers then little wonder we find ourselves pushed from the shelf of relatively decent jobs as we approach 50. In addition, I have only just recently had an (unsuccessful) interview at a top PE firm, one where I cynically note ALL their Executive Assistants on Linkedin seem to be under 30. Funny that! How have my core skills (advanced IT) eroded or my brain cells greatly diminished to the extent where I am no longer desirable to firms in London? I realise the job market is competitive anyway, but just as with dating (and girls, have I gone down that route before, to scant avail) the edge invariably favours "younger". And as I have to pay my rent and am now reliant on benefits - I've worked my entire life - my future at the moment IS looking rather bleak. I feel incredible sorrow and empathy for those women posting here. I won't patronise you to find God, or go watch Oprah (though on ocassion that has lifted my spirits) or remark how you should have saved for a rainy day as I understand how life doesnt provide us with the chance for a rehearsal first. We all want just the basic level of security, and to feel loved, and although positive thinking is KEY to battling on, when the battle appears endless and age suggests diminishing chances, I understand how resilience and fortitude can be severely eroded, depression thus setting in. I KNOW that desire to want to just sleep forever and not wake up again! What I would say is this: my art, writing, vision and sense of purpose will NOT be defeated. It has seen me through Acute Myeloid Leukaemia as a child and I KNOW I will not define myself as a has-been because of the DOB on my passport, or the sagging jawline, or even if I have to come down to taking whatever I can get accommodation/job wise; which will be SFA locally. All we EVER have control over is how we perceive life. Yes it sucks. And yes, it is a gift - dont throw it away! Hang in there girls!

Lizzie 3:24PM February 19, 2012