How to Make the Most of Your Child's ADHD

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I have 3 daughters. One is a Lawyer, one is a Phd student and the one with ADHD is in grad. school getting her PsyD to become a clinical psychologist. She is also bipolar and very gifted with making jewlery and making quilts. It took unconditional love and patience. Keep getting the MD to try to get the medication correct. Get a counselor she / he relates well to and never stop loving the individual.

Richard Robinson of NC 12:53PM March 27, 2009

As a parent of a child with ADHD and teacher myself, I understand your frustration with the lack of social skills training in schools these days. However, with the emphasis on high stakes testing and in some schools "performance pay" for teachers, many times educators are forced to focus on just the basics of passing the test.
I believe 99% of teachers would love to know their students very well, but expectations by school boards and administrators don't always make that possible. Most people go into teaching because they truly love children. Please give your child's teachers the benefit of the doubt. Also, please approach the school board about policies in place about testing, etc. Teachers don't really care about test scores, it's the whole "accountability" thing going on right now. Teachers care about learning, learning to learn, loving to learn, and their students.
My suggestion would be to keep in contact with teachers by email, asking how things are going. This draws attention to your child in a positive way. Also include little tips, such as "I learned that when I give _____ a smile during a tough situation he can usually get through it." Always say thank you, teachers love this.=) Hang in there, my son is in 6th grade and I know what you're going through. Someone (I wish I knew who!) said that once you have a child your heart is forever outside your body. I believe it! As a teacher, thank YOU for being a caring and supportive parent of your child. =)

Dawn/parent & teacher of MI 10:17PM January 13, 2009

I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 56. I am a woman. Therefore, no one thought that I had ADD because I was not a. not male and b. not hyper. I had to diagnose MYSELF and thereafter convinced my psychiatrist of my diagnosis. He said, let's prescribe the medicine. If it works, we know that we are correct. It worked immediately.
Now, I still have 20 radio stations playing in my head, but I can focus on one thing at a time and get it done. I went through college and law school without medication. Law school was dreadful for me. I wish that I had had medication and behavior modification 50 years ago. I might have been able to complete my education at 24 instead of 54.
Only about 15% of ADD sufferers are diagnosed and treated. It's a shame. We have many valuable traits because of this condition that would be much better expressed with such help.
Finally, if your doctor says that you can't be ADD because you are not hyper, find out if he is willing to do some research on the topic, or go somewhere else!

Deb Lagutaris of CA 3:25PM January 08, 2009

I hope you and your son get some better teachers soon so that you don't think we are all no hearted test proctors. Those of us that are in it for real know that for any content learning to occur, human connections must be made. I teach math at a school that has a very high number of kids like this, some of them have issues worse...
Good luck to you both.

A.King of AZ 10:24PM January 05, 2009

Our son was extremely hyperactive, as soon as he could crawl. He was walking by 9 months of age and running by 10 months. Once he started running, he went non-stop from morning 'til night. As a teacher and wrestling coach, I brought him to practices and contests with me and found that he was very interested in the sport and could focus on it for hours. Instead of seeking medication, my wife and I used his interest in this sport to help him learn self-control and extend his attention span. As I began teaching him wrestling skills, it became apparent that he recognized the importance of problem solving in the sport and had great aptitude for it. As his knowledge of the sport increased, we also noticed that he was interested in how everything worked. We started helping him explore this by guiding his exploration of simple mechanical devices, such as doors, can crushers, bicycles, etc. At age 3, he surprised us by designing and building a crude, but effective can crusher. At age 4, he was building bicycles from reclaimed parts and began disassembling radios, vacuum cleaners, etc. As he began kindergarten, it was apparent that his hyperactivity was problematic for his teacher. She recognized and encouraged his inquisitive and creative nature, but did not know how to deal with his constant movement. She was a good and kind teacher; she just was unsure how to help him control his movement. When other kids brought in toys or pictures for show and tell, he brought in mats from the gym and demonstrated/explained wrestling moves and rules. During teacher-led instructional sessions, however; he was constantly in motion and a distraction for other students. At home we continued to help him improve his long-term focus and self-discipline through the sport of wrestling, and encouraged his exploratory problem solving. At every grade level, he struggled with handwriting, reading motivation, and impulse control. However, starting in 3rd grade, he began a lifelong habit of reading Popular Science and Popular Mechanics from cover to cover each month.Throughout his K-12 school years, he continued to develop his wrestling skills and began setting his own long-range goals. As he pursued these goals, we could see his ability to focus and follow through improve. During this time, he also became more of a risk taker in his exploration of "how things work." He began fixing electronics, automobiles, etc. He designed and built elaborate sound systems and derveloped this into a small business, catering to the needs of his peers and teachers. His grades improved and he became interested in computers. His exemplary abilities to multitask and rapidly process information set him apart from his peers in this field. After college, he quickly moved into systems engineering and IT management with a fortune 500 company and is considered to be a genius in his field. Had we stifled his hyperactivity, I doubt that he would be where he is today.

Teacher/Parent of WI 12:54PM January 03, 2009

With today's emphasis on test scores and high achieving schools, it seems that educators have changed their focus away from acutally helping the children. Our 7th grader, with ADHD has been struggling for several years and this year has missed a lot of school due to school anxiety. When his teachers finally called us in for a conference in November, we explained that he was having school anxiety and his science teacher said she hadn't really gotten to know him. All it takes some times is a connection from the teacher, a smile or acknowledgement, a word of encouragement, to let the child know that someone at that school cares. Yet the teachers are focused on getting through their daily lessons and the weekly plan and then get through the testing to the end of the school year, graduate the kids and move on to the next group. All kids need to learn social skills and character building, yet the teachers don't include any of these skills in their lesson plans. With the emphasis solely on curriculum and test scores, many kids are struggling more and consequently stand out more from their peers than they would have 10-15-20 years ago. There are less opportunities for learning to be diversified, for children to learn in their own best way, which makes the "different learners" even more different. Teachers need to go back to really getting to know their students, and how they best learn, including factors like ADHD or family matters that can affect their learning. The emphasis should be on caring for the children, not just caring about the test scores.

Marcie Booth of CA 10:12AM January 03, 2009

We used to recognize that some children were more active than others and that all children have short attention spans because they are experiencing the wonders of the world for the very first time in their lives.
Today, it seems easier to just drug them than to help them make the transition from childhood to the next stage of life.

HillbillyBill of TN 6:29AM January 01, 2009