Note to Teens: Do Hard Things

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live tv on my computer of AL 9:28PM May 19, 2010

I am so glad I came across this. I wonder, does anyone else find a gender difference? My son, while very good in terms of behavior etc, did not seem to have the same drive as my daughters do. Both my daughters are responsible and mature beyond their ages, and I tell them the only difference between us is that I have more life experience. I also tell them who they are in life is not dependent on perfect grades. I teach adult learners, and it is eye-opening. Talk about low expectations! People who attended school into high school and never finished, and can only read at 2nd or 3rd grade level. I really want to encourage my kids to do even more now, after reading this. THANKS! They will be there running our country, our companies, our hospitals etc. They need to be go-getters!

Tracey Bouton of IL 4:33PM April 14, 2010

Kate, You don't have to "keep them challenged". In fact, by attempting to, you're holding them back. Challenge is their job. You just have to be willing to let them do it and provide emotional support and guidance (for ideas that are truly dangerous). The Harris twins' Dad brought brought home a bunch of inspirational books (most of them probably available at the library). Zach Hunter simply did a little thinking on his own and followed through. Your kids could do as well.
Alan

Alan of VT 1:12AM April 06, 2010

This is amazing. It's been less than a year and this idea has become a movement among young people that even President Obama is linking up with. Google on "do hard things" and see what comes up. Rebelling against low expectations is good for everyone, not just teens, but also for parents, teachers, pastors and even the elderly. If we are going to pull out of this bad economy we are all going to have to do hard things together as a way of life and as a national culture.

Concerned Dad of OR 3:50PM March 10, 2009

Wow, its really insiring as a parent to read about kids that are not afriad to try something hard. I am of the sam mindset, that most parents have made life just too easy for teenagers and many do not appreciate thinking outside the box. These boys are inspiring.

Frances of IL 12:53AM January 13, 2009

I wholeheartedly agree with challenging kids as much as possible. What do you do when you can't afford flying lessons, or piano lesson, or any other kinds of lessons? My husband and I are both professional who make a decent wage. We have 4 kids, and trying to keep them all challenged is extremely expensive.
While these are all admirable thoughts, my mind can't help but drift to that single parent, or grandparent raising grandchildren who is stuck in a financial situation. How are these children challenged? There are more and more families meeting these descriptions.
It's as my neighbor said when we were discussing finances.
"It's rather scary when an engineer and teacher can't afford any extras for their kids."

Kate of WA 5:56PM September 26, 2008

While I was never as high an achiever as these twins, I pushed myself beyond my comfort level in everything during my teenage years. Sometimes the physical pain (running the mile, for example) or anxiety (doing a solo at the a capella concert) was nearly unbearable. But after it was done, the smile on my face was unmistakable. The satisfaction of giving your best is worth much more than the effort put forth. If more parents realized this, they would help their dear children experience discomfort AND accomplishment beyond expectations.
As a result, my adult life has been rich and fulfilling. At 44, I still feel young and enjoy learning new things.

David L Allen of MI 5:04PM September 08, 2008

I love this! Very inspiring.

Michelle H of MT 2:01AM September 04, 2008

Growing up and in school, I was never challenged. From the time I turned 8 until the time I graduated, I was bored by the school system. I was in and out of shrinks' offices who said I had ADD or ADHD, or learning disablities but consistently I could pass their tests by leaps and bounds and the drugs they pumped me full of had no effect. And nobody understood. This is what was wrong with kids labeled chronic underachievers. There wasn't a challenge or an expectation to do more than what little was needed. I applaud these young men and their parents. It is not easy to break the status quo.

Dani of CA 7:30PM September 03, 2008

Obviously, you are not going to throw your kid into outer
space without a helmet type situations, but they THRIVE on things that
challenge and ENGAGE them! Running their own radio station?
And how!
Interviewing people for their own publications?
They love it!
Creating a recipe from 5 ingredients on the spot?
Willingly!
Going to adult meetings and participating?
You're on!
The list of challenges is endless. Teens MUST have challenges
or they will self-destruct. The key seems to be that you must
work with their own gifts and interests in some way.
Many adults are so terrified of the creative process that
they teach their kids that "nice" people don't ever
make messes. The central stage of creativity can look
very messy. When their kid has three muscle cars in
varying stages of rust and she insists on moving and
removing the car parts around between all three, most
parents are going to stomp all over the delicate and
necessary process. End result for any parent who can
bite their tongue is free car repairs for life! Or
the equivalent in some other field. A kid you can be
proud of.
The concept of teens having expertise is too scary for
some parents, yet teens can and do.
AFTER the creative process is over, you can junk two of the cars,
or get 'em to clean the icing off the kitchen, or insist that all the computer parts be neatly put away, but until then, you
ALLOW, which not many parents have mastered in their own lives,
so they can't do it in parenting, either. You also keep them
supplied with the next step items that they need, or help
them to earn it on their own. If a parent can't afford the
posterboard for the science project, they can always
find a new-looking packing box, and borrow scissors
and markers from the school!
The smile of a "must be happy" kid is forced and phony.
It will disappear. But the shining eyes of a learning
kid will keep glowing, on and on.