Men Are Victims of Domestic Violence, Too

I agree that there is alot of "physical" domestic violence against men that goes on. I am a victim and I know of many others. But there is also just as much mental abuse, if not more. They use the kids against us and brainwash them to hate their father, as well as their whole other side of the family. My boy of three at the time told me in a phone conversation that "Mommy said you used to beat her with a baseball bat". I said, "No, buddy, daddy never did anything like that". "Well", he said, I believe Mommy because Mommy doesnt lie. How many false allegations of child abuse do we as men have to face? In Canada I read that 80% of allegations of this nature are proved false! And what happens to the accuser. Usually nothing. It's not just us but they are also mentally abusing our children. This is the worst kind of abuse for both fathers and their children who suffer in many different ways for years if not for the rest of their lives. My children now run from me when they see me. They have never done that before and have no reason to do it now except that I have an ex-wife who is obsessed with destroying me. Only because I caught her cheating on me and I wasn't supposed to find out. Her first words out of her mouth, at her boyfriends house were, "What are you doing here slick?" In April I had the opportunity to file for custody because my ex-wife married a registared sex offender. I have two girls and one boy with her. My daughter was so convinced that it would be a terrible thing for her to live with their father that her mother told her to tell the judge that I had friends over and let them molest her. Now I know that this didn't happen because I never had friends over when the kid's were with me. It was always only family. So now when I go to watch my daughter play soccer, of course, she don't want me there, but everybody's jaws drop and I get mean looking stares as if I shouldn't belong there. Now the natural love that I have for my kid's has been turned into something perverted. My visitation was terminated, I have no phone contact and they are living with a child molester and no one will do anything about it. He has visitation rights with my children and I don't! In an instant chat I had with my daughter after finding her ID on her myspace, she said, after asked about the molestation, "why tell the truth when you don't have to". I have saved this chat. She went on to say other things her Mom has told her that are completely false. Such things like I'm homosexual, I've raped their Mom, I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict, I collect child porn, I assaulted a police officer, exposed myself indecently, harrassed a stripper, (I have never been to a strip club. I am a Christian who everyday strives to be like Christ.) I am glad that it is being brought out in the media more and more that things are not as one-sided in DV and women would like everyone to think.

MichaelRHuff of OH 6:01PM July 30, 2008

The traditional HTML tags don't function properly on comment sections like this, sometimes there is a sort of auto detect that will link your tag, so Matt I'm just reposting you link.

http://news.mensactivism.org

Michael of LA 7:22PM July 29, 2008

you say: "There's little doubt that women endure more of all types of domestic violence than men"

There is a significant amount of doubt about who suffers more from DV. In fact there are many MANY studies that in fact women are MORE violent and prone to commit DV then men. The problme is the news media refuses to report it and the government is doing everything it can to hide the facts.

The stats from the CDC are rife with issues. What the CDC won't tell you is they define abuse against women to include being yelled at (and what married couple hasn't raised their voices in an argument). They also include arrests and police calls yet don't acknowlege that under current laws the "most likely" person to cause injury is to be arrested. In other words if there is no visible evidence arrest the larger person i/e the man. Police are also trained under the Deluth model which explictly state women and ONLY WOMEN can be victims of DV.

Another example a couple of years ago the funding for the Violence Against Women Act aka VAWA was up for renewal. This act violates all laws in that it specifically discriminates against men and there are provisions within the act that DENY male victims of DV needed services. There is also no corresponding Violence Against Men Act.

Congressional hearings were held and despite numerous request only those who could speak positivly about VAWA and who subscibed to the belief that women and ONLY women can be victims of DV. Advocates (including myself) for male victims of DV were DENIED the right to testify thus reinforcing the belief the "women suffer more from DV"

For starters I suggest you read the meta-analasys (study of studies) put together by Martin Fiebert:

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

I also encourage folks to go to mediaradar.com for additional information

The facts are that the past 30 years have led to an explosion of misrepresentation, propaganda and outright lies all designed to portray as the author of this article has written that women are the primary victims of DV and men are rarely if ever affected by it

Dan Romand - Victim and Adovocate for thsoe affected by DV of NY 3:24PM July 29, 2008

Throughout his short marriage my son was exposed to the most common form of DV, namely false allegations of abuse. He was issued a restraining order preventing him from seeing his children except in front of a security guard whose fees he had to pay. The only time the mother allowed him acces was during the work week, meaning that, as self employed, he missed one day's salary each week in addition. His parents, my husband and I, who previously had looked after the children while the parents were at work suddenly were allowed one afternoon a week of supervised visit. That, of course, was during the children's naptime.

When the court decided that all her allegations were false she violated the court order and absconded with the children but not before destroying the large family home in a desirable neighbourhood, for which we, my husband and I had paid the deposit of tens of thousands of dollars (we never got our money back). He was ordered to pay the repairs to the home so that it could be sold. He had always carried all the costs, including the mortgage and utilities.

After the divorce was granted she carried on with the accusations about non-payment of child support, etc. All of which were found to be false.

Eventually he was no longer able to carry on. His entire life became a nightmare due to the constant hounding by the judiciary.

He finally committed suicide. However, even in his death he put his children first: he masked it as a drowning accident so that his insurance would continue to pay the child support and they (she) were the beneficiaries of his sizeable life insurance.

This, dear readers, is the ultimate DV aganist men, committed by using the judiciary and law mkers and enforcers as proxy. Tens of thousands of men in North America alone commit suicide each year for the same reason. Their bodies can be laid on the doorsteps of each judge and politician.

EVa 4:58PM July 23, 2008