Nursing Homes: 10 Best States for Overall Staffing

There are NO easy answers or solutions-

I know. My 93 year old mother is in what seems to be a good nursing home with good staff people.

It was a very difficult decision to place her in a nursing home. But there are often compelling reasons that families have NO choice. I really resent the attitude of those who say families like mine are selfish and mean for not taking care of our mom, keeping her at her home or ours.

My neighbor, with her three sisters and two brothers within 15 miles of each other and their dad, take turns helping him. That he is also ambulatory and mentally alert makes it a reasonable thing for them. Plus, they are all in their 40s and 50s and in good health.

So when this neighbor not so subtly criticizes us for not taking my mother in, I want to tell her she is not in my shoes.

My mother no longer remembers who we are; she thinks I am one of the workers when I visit. Fortunately she still has the sweetness of her personality; she's always polite and friendly to most everyone because it's her nature. Strokes have robbed her of her ability to move, to dress herself, comb her hair or brush her teeth. She can no longer control her bladder and bowels and is always in a diaper. She can barely hear, is blind in one eye and has macular degeneration in the other. She can no longer feed herself, which ironically has helped her gain a few needed pounds because the staff feeds her pureed food. And she likes it! For too long she stubbornly struggled to feed herself and kept losing weight.

Her nursing home is in another state. My sister and younger brother live nearby and visit often, especially my sister. My sister has had one knee replacement and will be having the other surgery. Her husband has been severely disabled since he was in the military in the 60s. They cannot do the physical work required to care for someone in our mother's condition. My brother? He is gone on the road most of the week driving a big rig; his life and his living. His wife works two jobs.

I live nearly 800 miles away. I spend a lot of money to travel to see her as often as I can. It is difficult. I am disabled by effects of multiple sclerosis, and my husband, who has emphysema and diabetes, cannot even travel to where mom lives because the altitude is so high it's difficult for him to breathe.

I don't know how Mom's nursing home was rated, but I am thankful for the caring staff. We all see her and help her as much as we can. But without fat bank accounts that might have enabled one of us to bring care into the home, we really had no other choice.

Please think before you criticize nursing home care or placement. Visit your loved one, talk to the staff and above all satisfy yourself that your loved one receives the care they need. If you find a problem, then deal with it.

Don't assume all nursing homes are bad; they are not. Do your homework, you may need to find one.

sharpmama of CA 3:57AM December 22, 2008

The article mentions "the system the government uses for rating Medicare health and drug plans". Can someone direct us to where can we find these ratings. Thanks.

B. Rovetta of OR 7:35PM December 20, 2008

For a number of years I was the supervisor of maintnence and security of a very large nursing home vacilitiy in Austin, Texas. During my employement, we were inspected by the State on a monthly basis, and acquired an 94 to 96 percent average for good housekeeping and security rating until three months prior to my resignation, because the new administrator was far more inclined on money saved than providing a healthy and safe enviorment for the elderly persons residing there. Her policy was "cut expennses to the bone, but still maintain a positive average." This sort of attictude was the cause of her later being removed, as well, her licience suspended, but she then left Texas, and acquired a similar nursing home position in the State of Oklahoma. I have seen this very same attitude and administrative practice in many nursing homes for the elderly, and to the extend in my belief such practice should be considered absolutely criminal. Unskilled and improperly trained hourly employees is also quite evident, and may only be corrected by providing the necessary skills so assure the elderly a healthful and safe enviroment. An example was the provided laundry facilities, where I saw fecal manner in the clothing and bedding being laundried. The attitudes of the two persons assigned to the laundry room was, "they considered it amusing, and it was only necessary to add additional bleach to the water." The administrator had not the slightest knowldege regarding the proper soaker/shaker equipment necessary and proper training of laundry employees so to eliminate the problem. Those persons residing in nursing homes must rely upon the training and attitute of persons working there, and if they are not properly trained and supervised, they present an sbsolute danger to the occupants of the nursing home. It my personal opinion, there are far too many nursing facilities in the United States which do not meet the necessary standards to provide safe and proper care for their residents. The final days for those persons residing at a nursing home should be with dignity, love and receiving proper care, and there is no excuse for their receiving less. Last, but not least, State inspectors must have the absolute knowledge and training for correcting and eleminating health problems at nursing home facilities.

R. S'Chevalier of AZ 6:26PM December 20, 2008

Nursing Homes are institutions. How many people would willingly live in one if they didn't need the care which our government deems can only be paid for in a nursing home? For many people watchful oversight and companionship would cover their needs in tehir own home. Even those who need help with life needs - meals, bathing, medications- could be cared for in their own home if there were money to pay the staff needed.

It costs LESS to keep someone at home than to institutionalize them!!

Sara Cohen of GA 6:15PM December 20, 2008