6 Ways to Prep Your Kids for an Oversexed World

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sassy of NY 9:31PM January 24, 2010

As a man, Rehabilitating the senses has taken time. A fantasy that is all too absurd for one person, may or may not be for another. Being available to address such emotions is something that more or less cannot happen, when the luck of the fantasy or involvement is too terribly brief.
As a further note continuing along the lines of the previous paragraph, it too would be possibly strange and unconvincing trying to reform somebody elses "DESIRES". Putting desires into a plural form is easy, concentrating on a destiny is a trap to me. How will I ever move on past the identity given to most couples if I have only been accustomed to succumbing or finding relief briefly through isolated encounters?
Questions like that are ones that fathers and mothers, friends and all can tell on about themselves, but then again, that is just a story.

Danton Steele of WA 6:37PM January 24, 2010

Can you believe that MOST kids DO NOT believe that oral sex is sex? So technically Russ is correct...abstinence is good in theory but just doesn't cover it. They also don't believe that sex is sex unless they cum...and a whole slew of MISinformation that you would never even think of. I am a teacher in China and I've been here for 7 years- I know just what kind of damage shielding kids can do.
I worked with a young woman (25 years old) and her mother told her that she could get pregnant if she kissed a boy and that she could get an STD from holding hands. I admit this is a little wacky and extreme but it's true. She came home crying one day convinced she was pregnant because she had gotten her first kiss.
I know of 13 year olds glued to the internet downloading porn and erotic pictures while their parents think they are doing homework or at school. They don't have to do it at home either...how many kids have parents that work?
I have 16 year old girls dating 30 year old men because they can give them what they want and they think that it's OK because "he's a man" and they trust him.
These are all stories coming from a 1950's era country mentality. Porn is illegal to buy or own. Parents don't talk about sex to their kids. There is NO SEX on TV. And yet they are having to face the same world as your kids...with much fewer resources. Sex Ed in schools- NEVER! Access to condoms? They think they're only for gay men! Understanding the difference between reality and what they see in the media? THEY THINK BRITNEY SPEARS IS AN AMERICAN ROLE MODEL!! And they try to emulate what they see from American TV and in American Movies. So what do you think our own children are getting from all the media targeting them.
Look at the music industry- targeting the most vulnerable group with young male singers to introduce them to the sexed up world of pop music.

Roberta 2:08AM December 09, 2009

First limiting yourself to games, TV and internet is absurd when 90% of information on sex is passed through friends. Kids don't have to be correct in their assumptions- they just have to believe them to be willing to pass them along. You hear stereotypes and dirty jokes...but who really is teaching them that these things aren't true? IF you spend all your energy 'covering up' sex in the world, they are going to assume that you're doing it because it's TRUE!!! What you need to do instead of trying to 'shield' your child from the world is EDUCATE them...give them the tools they need to be able to handle their world. I know it would be easier and a lot nicer if we could pretend that the world was more innocent- they way we grew up. But it's not, and they have to deal with a lot more peer pressure at a younger age then we give them credit for. Just look at Britney Spears, she went from mousekatteer to sex kitten over night. Give them information on showing their bodies and self esteem instead of just making it all taboo.
In the world of information being a child is not much different then being an inexperienced adult. It's a shame to have to say it but it's 100% true. And you should be able to handle issues the way you would with another adult but with an idea with what they are ready for. How old is too young to talk about sex? I would say that there is no such a limit any longer. First it starts with having them learn about their bodies in a realistic manner and emphasizing the fact that their bodies are completely under their control, and that NO ONE has the right to do something to them that they don't want them to. Bringing up sex as an act of love between two committed adults can't be a bad lesson from the get go...and it ties in nicely with when they have baby questions. Kids are CURIOUS, it's always been a fact of life...that's how they learn, and if you are not willing to give them information then they will look else where.
As a teacher and a mother I fear the day when my 21 month old is old enough to face the world on her own...to live a life that doesn't include me watching over her every move. But I refuse to let her go out in this world full of hate, violence, disrespect and lies without being the one who she will ALWAYS come to with questions. Everyone remembers the rumors about the Catholic school kids...that they were the wild ones going out drinking, having sex and getting in trouble the most. It all stems from too much control and the kids finding their chance to taste freedom. Watch Animal planet and explain instincts and desires, watch prime time with your kids and explain about the situations you find there...remember those after school specials? That's what they were trying to do for us...to educate us from things that our own upbringing couldn't prepare us for.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER don't deny it to your greatest asset...your kids!

Roberta 1:37AM December 09, 2009

Thanks for your thoughtful comments! As a parent, I find the decisions about what children need to know when to be among the most difficult, particularly since they are exposed to waaay more sex and violence than we ever were. The evidence is clear that too much too soon is really bad for kids. But then what, when? I'd love to protect all kids from all bad things. Levin's point is that we can't, so we have to teach them the skills to cope with the disturbing media message that they will for sure see.
all the best, Nancy

Nancy Shute of DC 10:37AM August 14, 2008

Abstinence does work, but only if it's followed. Having "the talk" in this era has to be very different from the talk in the 1950's through the 1990's. We know so much more! Educating our young children and teens about sex should include the ramifications as well as the positives. It can't be a one hour lecture, either! It has to be a ongoing discussion that can take place at any time that your child feels comfortable.
A healthy sex life is nothing to be ashamed of, yet the basic function is a biological process to increase the population. (as stated by Mr. Crosby, below) Talking about sex needs to include the biological, physical and mental components that come with having sex. Until a person is mature enough to handle the possible ramifications, they should practice abstinence.
I understand hormones are wild and children have little knowledge about how to handle the feelings and urges, (heck, some adults still don't have control), but that should be where a responsible parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/doctor/or other trusted adult should step in and be open to talk about it with them. Knowledge is power, Ignorance is weakness.

yac of CA 7:46PM August 12, 2008

Well, sometimes ignorance is bliss. I can't think of how many things I know about sex that I really don't need to know and wish that I was never exposed to. Once exposed to sex and sexual imagery, I odn't know of any way of getting it out of your head.
There are appropriate ways to discuss sex and correct behavior without being heavy-handed or giving in to an attitude that "it's all out there, they'd better see it" that fall far short of wide-open permissiveness. Slow, careful explanations of what is safe and healthy will help children learn how to choose what will make them happy and avoid much heartache and pain. Because sex is such a vital part of being an adult, it is worth every effort to teach children carefully. Unfortunately, today a necessary part of this careful teaching is a very strong filter on what children see.

David B of ID 5:02PM August 12, 2008

Don't forget the porn on the cell-phone.

of 3:26PM August 12, 2008

Limiting sexual exposure just leaves our kids ignorant. They need to be taught the whole reality. Sex is a biological function to increase a population. The kids deserve to understand the ramifications of their actions. It is our duty as a parent to relate these issues to them because of their inexperience. Abstinence does not work, reality does.

Russ Crosby of TX 1:56PM August 12, 2008