Why Divorcing Women Seek Revenge

Divorce Women Revenge

I believe most of the women who leave their husband, are in a kind of depression, but at the same time they are more revengeful than men are. I have my personal experience where my spouse did not let me to see or speak to my kids for two years, and they have not come and stayed with me in five years. I married again and unfortunatley my second spouse did the same thing , is away from me for two years and did not let me see or meet my 2 years old daughter .

Both the case, i provided them the best possible life, and this is what they gave me in return. I ado not smoke do not drink and a very streight forward person, yet they left me and treating me like a trash.

Revenge with children

I know a few things about a women’s quest for revenge and its fallout. I also know how to combat it. I’m a dad who did the unspeakable evil of leaving my ex. She was abusive, and insistent power and control in our relationship. So I broke up with her. We weren’t married, but we had a child.

Revenge for my ex has been to deny access to our daughter and tell everybody I wasn’t interested in being a father, but block me at every turn when I tried. Without the court system, I had no access to our daughter at all for eight months. Within the court system, I’ve had to learn to self-represent, because I can’t afford otherwise. It is UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT to be a meaningful part of our daughter’s life, on account of mom’s quest for revenge.

This article is about women, but as a man, I ask: what can a decent dad do when mom wants revenge at all costs? Answer: Don’t take the bait. Love your child—after all, mother’s quest for revenge makes her a bad parent, so the kid needs somebody, it might as well be you. Revenge is destructive to children. Sure, it’s natural, but so is infanticide. You can’t be a good parent if you’re out for revenge. The two things don’t jibe. No more revenge. No excuses. Put the kids first.

Revenge

Although it's taken me 11 years to understand it, my ex used the ultimate in revenge tactics when I told her I wanted a separation/divorce.

Not having any formal education beyond grade 9, my ex was an at-home mother to our 6 children. Although she held several jobs, none of them lasted for more than a couple of months.

When I told her that I wanted an end, the very last words she said to me was, "don't fight me on custody of the children."

My intention was shared custody, although, I would have been satisfied with visitation. I was to receive neither.

A few days after my announcement, she, along with the children, disappeared, and I received a telephone call from her then, soon-to-be lawyer, brother, that "she and the children were "safe."" I knew something disasterous was about to happen.

A few weeks later, my house was swarmed by RCMP officers with a search warrant in hand. I was arrested and detained for several charges of sexual assault, sexual assault with a weapon, uttering threats, simple assault, etc. etc. Along with that came Child & Family Services involvement.

In the end, I was ultimately cleared by the Courts, and Child & Family Services, but not before being effectively removed from my children's lives for 4 years. This is a very long time in impressionable children's lives.

Ultimately I discovered that, because she left and appeared on the doorstep of an abused woman's shelter, she was obligated to make such claims; there were no other family that where sufficiently local enough to acquire support from. I DO know that the staff of the shelter made it clear that, if no allegation (and criminal charges) were pursued, no further assistance would be provided.

Having no job skills, meant no job, and no income EXCEPT social services. Not having custody of the children would certainly reduce the amount she received.

There is no question that I am not at fault in some way; I was having an online affair, which became a relationship later, and my ex was aware of it. For this I accept responsiblity.

There is also no question that there were outside influences in this case, such as her brother, her distant family, and of course, the workers at the shelter.

Panic can cause a person to do unthinkable things, and I am certain if she could undo the steps she took, she would. Knowing her persona, I doubt the ramifications of her actions cause her much distress. However, I believe over time, her innuendos and outright fabrications will haunt her in one way or another.

There´s a difference between revenge and destruction

First of all, I don´t understand the relation between women or men wanting to seek revenge and Olympic athletes. Second, in my case, I can only see a psychotic tendency to destroy the other person´s life, in blind rage, without thinking of who benefits or what those benefits might be. The children are thrown in a battle, lied to, taken away from the parent they always loved, now being told that this person is bad. These kind of destructive divorces do not benefit anyone except the lawyers taking the case. All property will need to be sold to defend the case and there isn´t even anything left to divide. The children are tossed around in an emotional battle and suffer the most.

women

they just want a younger man so they look hot in public. and men are dumb enough to chase older women. hup em and dump em guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Divorce and Revenge

Yes, I believe the feeling of revenge is a very natural response against a spouse who has betrayed and cheated on his family. I think the attorney's should be included in that category, also. Jesus of XX is right, "Then only winners are the lawyers!" From experience, I can say the Texas Judicial System in West Texas sucks bigtime. My children and I were not only taken advantage of by my ex, my lawyers (3- two male, one female) but the judge was prejudiced against me by his first cousin, my ex's lawyer! The transcript reads like a bad tv sitcom/comedy. One attorney straight out told me I couldn't do a thing about the previous attorney's lies because, "I have been the President of the Texas Bar Association for 8 years and we never did anything to any lawyer. You have no recourse." After two years of being divorced, not including the year it took to get it, I am still angry, hurt, and venegful. "Get over it people say." "Get on with your life." Well, my so called "LIFE" was TAKEN from me and what little value was placed on me for a 19 year marriage and business I helped to build, was taken by the greedy lawyers. And let me tell you, starting over is not easy for someone who had to give up everything else to be a "wife". The person I put my life, my love and my future, into suddenly decided my "friend" was a much better deal. Brings to mind the old adage: You can't count on anyone except yourself. I WANT to say to people who've been done dirty: GET WHAT YOU CAN AND RUN, RUN, RUN!! But that puts me in the same category as the jerk I used to be married to. I'm better off, emotionally, by far and so are my kids. So, I will say: Pray, pray and have faith that God is good and will guide you to a better place.

Revenge is not just done by "women"

Revenge, as the first poster so aptly points out, is not a "woman's" thing. This article leans towards promoting the wrong stereotypes of the "woman scorned."

Many times, as another poster put it - the woman is protecting her family, her children and yes, even herself. Why? Because when men are caught cheating, stealing, lying, hiding funds, etc. -- they react with something called NARCISSISTIC RAGE (google that). Then these "men" go on the attack --- and when the woman tries to defend herself or protect her family the man says "look! she's a woman scorned -- it's REVENGE."

Unfortunately, articles like this just make that claptrap more believable. This writer and USNews should check up on the kinds of revenge men take on women... rather than painting women as the bad ones.

Anihilation

Simple, what this disgusting practice in the United States is comming to (and soon to be followed in the civilized world outside) is just as the nice lawyer above put it: a dissolution of a business contract. So, to the intelligent man living within these United States, I offer the following solution: do NOT get married. There is no need to put yourself in a contract to begin with where you invite the state the general public, and the nice lawyer above into your living room. Everyone is imperfect in whatever way whether it be honesty, integrity, loyalty, etc. we are human, we err and we are grossly imperfect. This in no way should be interpreted as having to hand over half of your hard work to another for ANY reason. A union between a man and a woman should be left up to GOD (those who believe) and allow GOD to deal with the indiscretions. The children should be cared for as they are innocent parties however the father should have ABSOLUTELY EQUAL rights to his children should he choose to exercise them. This includes length of time with the children, decisions made regarding the children, etc. I've had the unfortunate experience of meeting only one bad apple, however she was found to be profoundly mentally ill, enabled by her oblivious parents and a horrible, selfish mother, an "existentialist" who prides her self in identifying with Soren Kierkegaard. I always had the good sense to not get married to her (more of an instinct thatn anything else) and am more than proud to support my little daughter. She has another son from a previous relationship (marriage) and it lasted just as long as our relationship did (not the typical case but NLQ nontheless). An honest, loyal and moral woman is hard to find, but when you do, stick to her.. I did.

Christie Brinkley

Christie Brinkley could have fought in court without making the trial public. That was her strategic decision to embarrass her husband and ultimately embarrassed the kids. It seemed like a selfish decision on her part.

And gender bias abounds in divorces. Nine out of ten times the women gets the kids. Like that isn't sexism.

Why Divorcing Women Seek Revenge?

Because they can.

Men are victimized during divorce but it isn't politically correct to talk about it. Just more and more about how women are suffering.

Women do not have the high moral ground in divorce any more than men do. I am a woman and I see the carnage. Misandry rules the process in divorce and please don't let him be wealthy because then the daggers are lodged deep in his back.

Until we get away from the mantra of women as victims this will continue. Name 1 man who has won his divorce in the court of public opinion.