Tuesday, November 24, 2009

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On Women Blog - U.S. News & World Report

Secrets of Happily Married Women

February 08, 2008 02:26 PM ET | Deborah Kotz | Permanent Link | Print

Reader Comments

marriage

Unless you understand that men are in fact, men, it's never going to work.

We can't expect them to think like us (the right way) and have to accept that most of the time, they're going to be on the other side of the fence.

That's okay.

http://twitter.com/tscottsdale09

bored/frustrated and annoyed

u ever feel alone even when ur married to someone?

ever feel like a single mom when ur married and the husband is the father of the childeren?

Dr. Haltzman

Dr. Haltzman is not a marraige counselor. Perhaps you should check his credentials. Primarily, he is the medical director at a community based mental health center. If you knew him, you would find his comments laughable. His writings are nothing more than an attempt to increase his salary and the size of his ego. (as if he needed that) P L E A S E spare me Dr. Haltzman.

Happily Married...

I was married for 23 years with 2 sons and 2 daughters.We were the "perfect" family. When my youngest was 10, I went back to work as a teacher of first grade.My husband at age 35 then went into semi retirement working at home and commuting to NYC from Utah.

I was divorced 18 months when I impulsively married a younger man, unmarried and no kids --also a teacher. We went to Ethiopia to teach for 2 years. After 2 1 years, things went bad. I ceased to arouse him, he began to swear frequently at me, was disappointed in my attendance at church and impatient with injuries and illness contracted in Ethiopia/Africa. Long story, short, the infatuation was over.I had never been so alone and lonely!

Remember, we can be happy without love but the best of all worlds is to be KIND, anticipate each others needs, and be forgiving without allowing our partner to overstep the fine line of use and abuse.I need because I love: not that, I love because I need.

Best wishes to those who continue in the optomistic attitude of love and marriage. God bless everyone--no exceptions.

What errors?

Is having sex wrong with my husband even though seperated and not living together?

My husband and I of 7 years are seperated because he cheated on me, but I still love him very much though he says he does not know if he can trust me after he confessed being with his slut and I slapped him so hard , then he calls me and I love having sex with him and he with me are we crazy?

Marriage

We have only been married for 62 years, so perhaps a bit inexperienced for addressing this issue.

For some reason, I love my wife dearly, and I know she loves me.

We both stay very busy . . . she with her DAR jobs and I with my Veterans' jobs. We help each other with our volunteer work and find time to do things together . . . like bowling . . and entertaining.

We stay in touch with old friends, . . . tho' we are now losing many of them, and our widely scattered family.

We have very few arguments . . I could never bring myself to say or do anything to hurt her. I see my job as making her happy as possible.

We made a lifetime commitment when we married . . and have stuck to it. Living together without marriage is NEVER a "commitment." I am one very fortunate guy.

Secrets of Happily Married Women

"Talk Less" and "look for nonverbal cues as an expression of love".

That should do it.

Happily Married Women.

And don't bring up old hash, like hurt feelings about something he has said or done in the past. Deal with those instances when they take place, or soon thereafter if they happen in public, not harboring those hurts and then bringing them up in later weeks or years. and do so by stating how those instances affected your feelings as his wife and as a human being.

Happiness in marriage

Love means putting your other's needs ahead of your own. Since losing my wife, what I miss most is not being able to do for her and the joy of her presence, whether we were at odds or not.

The worst time I have had with her is better than the best I have had without her! We were together for fifty years and was o where near enough.

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About On Women

Deborah Kotz, senior writer for U.S. News & World Report, covers everything women care about when it comes to their health. She's often tapping out "Oprah-esque" confessions about how the latest news relates to her personally—whether it's on breast cancer, contraception or easing work-family stress. She'd love to hear your confessions too at onwomen@usnews.com. Also, you can follow Deborah on Twitter at twitter.com/debkotz2.

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