Falling Drug Use: Keep Your Teen Clean

Spend time with your teen

Coming from a drug and alcohol counselor who works in an Alternative High School, parents need to spend time with their teens, know your child's friends, where they are, what they are doing and set limits. When they don't follow your rules, inflict punishment...by this I mean, take their cellphone, computer, free time, car, etc. Believe me, these things mean everything to a teen. Ask questions, assume the worst and never believe everything they say. Teens LIE all the time, they know what you want to hear, follow up on their stories of where they are going and who they are with. I've seen more heroin, oxycontin and marijuana users whose parents do not have a clue that they are using anything because they are so busy with their own lives.

Drugs aren't the only kind of addiction...

I'd also suggest to look out for process addictions in your teen, like binge eating, internet addiction, excessive TV watching or video-game playing, among others. If addiction is a type of learning process, I'll bet these behaviors can also set teens up for other addictions later in life.

You CAN choose your child's friends

Sadly, once you find out that your child is abusing drugs, they might already have an addiction. We were helpless as our 15 year old son became thoroughly addicted to oxycontin. Once kids are hooked, there is almost nothing a parent can do to stop them. Our child had no intention of stopping. He did not see the harm in it. We talked with police, school administrators, and the parents of the our child's friends. We sent him to an extended and expensive rehab center (against his will). Nothing worked. He eventually went to injecting oxycontin and then switched to heroin.

The law is not on your side as a parent. Kids on drugs are oblivious to your plea for them to stop drugs, and you can't spank or restrain them. When we put restrictions on our son, he simply would run away for days or a week. Pretty soon, he was known as a habitual run-away and the police wouldn't even look for him.

Drugs - especially the opiates like oxycontin turned our star athlete straight A student into a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. He started at 15 years old and by 16,he was either stoned out of his mind or FRANTIC for more drugs.

It tore our family apart and destroyed him as a person.

My suggestion is to be very careful with who your child associates. When our son switched from Junior High School to High School, he started hanging out with the wrong kids. We were too liberal and believed that "you can't choose your child's friends". We were wrong. Within months of hanging around with these kids, he was deep into drugs.

Do NOT trust other parents. Do not believe that since the parents are home when your child visits that things are supervised and "OK". We later learned that two different sets of parents were major suppliers to the drug trade at our child's school. One went to prison for one year. The other remained free and continued to supply drugs to kids. His son eventually died a tragic drug related death.

Young teens often do not really have the smarts to avoid choosing the wrong friends - especially if they were raised in a protected environment. The BEST kids are the most naive and most vulnerable.

Your kids will fight you tooth and nail if you try to restrict who they see. Yes, they might even be more motivated to rebel against you by seeing people that you disapprove, but it is your only chance. If you have a 25% chance of keeping your kids away from bad kids, that is a 25% chance that you will no longer have if they get involved with drugs.

Druggie kids aren't innocent victims. Druggie kids are a cancer and they spread the disease to other kids. Do your best to keep your kids away from the disease of addiction by keeping them away from the carriers of the disease - keep them away from bad kids.

Our son is now a full-fledged heroin addict. It seems hopeless right now. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.

Good luck

Legal medication use up; illegal use down -- connection?

Interesting column, Nancy.

I would suggest one more evidence-based tactic for parents: Learn how to recognize mental health conditions such as ADHD and bi-polar disorder.

Studies show that children who suffer from these untreated disorders are more likely to "self-medicate" in dangerous ways, including ingesting substances such as alcohol and illegal drugs but also having promiscuous (and unprotected) sex, driving dangerously, and taking dangerous risks during sports and recreation.

Nic Sheff has discussed how his own bi-polar disorder, left unrecognized and untreated, led to his substance use disorder.

The bottom line: Many teens don't drink or use other substances to get "high." They do so to calm the "noise" in their brains from untreated disorders.