Note to Teens: Do Hard Things

hard things? are you crazy?

Do hard things? That's a golden spike into the hearts of the "I just want my kids to be happy" generation of parents. They've been shielding their kids from "hard things," especially all the ordinary childhood adversities--just to keep the kids happy.

As a psychologist, I've been hearing parents trumpet "I just want my kids to be happy" for two decades--well-intentioned and loving parents, not knowing that so many kids are drowning in happiness, and that it's standing in the way of their developing all-important resilience.

I'm not surprised only one of four youth respondants in the survey you cite said that they "exert themselves." Their parents have promoted a "soft life"--why should they exert themselves?

I'm trying to get the message out about this misguided attitude of keeping a smile on our kids' faces.

Aaron Cooper, Ph.D.

author, "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead."

It is interesting to me

The fact that these twins wrote a book is admirable. I think life for twins is somewhat easier. They do many things together with a built-in "Cool" factor. They do everything together and have a neat built-in friend and are never alone.

Would each twin consider breaking out on his own and doing the ultimate hard thing and attend SEPARATE universities?

I doubt it.

I have twin brothers, BTW. They garnered all the praise and admiration while I had to fend for myself in the shadows of anonymity. If I sound envious, I am.