A Sociologist's Take on How Abortions Affect Men

Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome

As one who completed a research paper on men and abortion for my masters degree, I can say that men can be significantly affected by the abortions of their partners, even years down the road.

Clinically, such men experience guilt, denial, anger, loss, grief, and emotional pain although they did not undergo the actual physical abortion.

The main focus is normally on the women who experience the abortion. It is as if such men did not exist & should not even experience any emotions from the loss of an unborn baby at all.

Societal denial of the detrimental psychological effects of abortion on women and men only compounds the inability of men to properly grieve their losses.

The abortion advocacy continues to deny any lingering emotional effects from abortion. The government refuses to admit any problem in this area & does not allocate funding for further research in this politically-charged arena.

It is as if the political dynamics insulate and perpetuate the isolation of wounded abortive men, precluding them from the hope of any serious research that can validate their experiences.

There is one hope for abortive men: pregnancy care centers, not reproductive health centers. When life-affirming world views embrace the humanity of the unborn, an intimate realization strikes at the heart of the wounded man. The connection with the truth allows the man to grieve the loss of a human baby. The truth sets him free!

Reproductive health centers don't acknowledge the humanity of the fetus, depriving the abortive men of the truth of the human loss created through abortion. The denial of this truth does not permit proper emotional healing for men, creating further emotional bondage.

Waiting-room men?

To Arthur Shostak, I have to say, they are not "waiting-room men," they are FATHERS. That's F-A-T-H-E-R-S. The reason you only have a five percent count on sad dads, is because most don't talk about it. They feel shamed for allowing their child to be killed without fighting for it. Men are supposed to help their damsels in distress, not cause them a lifetime of sorrow by allowing them to be butchered, not to mention what happens to their precious, but now disected child. I kept my abortion silent for decades. It was too incredibly painful to even think about, much less talk about. Now that I've spoken out on the harm of abortion, I've also come in contact with men who were dads that must now live in pain over the loss of their children. If you are thinking of aborting, think very, very hard. Nine months is an extremely short period of time to be inconvenienced compared to a wound that will last you forever through abortion.

A Different View

Professor Shostak and I have worked together on Men And Abortion for well over a decade and I greatly admire his persistence in encouraging abortion providers to be as inclusive of the guys accompanying women as time and space permit. His collection of statistical information is of great benefit to both the medical and the sociological communities.

However, I take issue with him on one point. In my long time experience as an abortion clinic director, I believe that most couples in a strong and loving relationship do make the decision together, do come to the clinic together, and do come to resolution together. It's the less healthy, more troubled relationships that invite the woman to make the decision without consulting her partner. And it's a not accurate that most women say, "I'm pregnant and I'm having an abortion". In fact, Chris Rock has a quite famous routine about how that same dialog occurs. In his version of the exchange, it's her saying, "I'm pregnant" and the man had better say, "What are WE gonna do?"

Let's not forget that half of unintended pregnancies end up in birth.

very timely and much needed

Great job Victoria Thorn on a much needed and very timely seminar! Too often we forget that men are very much a part of the abortion epidemic and it affects them for the rest of their lives. I look forward to your next visit to Atlanta.

Peace and Blessings,

Carl Amodio, DC

Life Begins At Conception

PLEASE do not use abortion as a form of birth control....there are options available to allow life for the child and give an infertile couple the greatest gift you could possibly give: a child for them to love. Then you as a single mom or dad could live without guilt knowing you chose life for your child....you avoided the depression and life long feelings of remorse that most people who follow the path of murdering a child...Pray for wisdom and strength to think of that child rather than yourself...You will rejoice in your decision and God will bless you for the rest of your life....

Birth Control?

Depending on what you mean by "birth control," I'd definitely disagree. If it weren't for the mentality that comes with the widespread use of contraception (and demands its availability/use), there would be no such thing as an "unwanted pregnancy." Think I'm crazy? http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0002.html

A Psychologist v. a Sociologist

While Shostak did early work on this issue, he did it becasue of his own surprising feelings having accompanied his significant other to the clinic where both his and her motherhood and fatherhood ended with the abortion which took place. After interviewing over a thousand men initially and several hundred since, he has reached the conclusion that at least 5% of men are affected dramatically by the loss of their fatherhood due to a partner's abortion.

At the recent conference Dr. Vincent Rue a Psychologist and Dr. Catherine Coyle reported their findings which were surprisingly much greater from their research than 5%. It seems to me Mr. Shostak has found himself in that 5% who just can't seem to get past the event in such a way as to just move on. While I have never met Mr. Shostak, I know of few other men who have spent so much time trying to figure out why their focus keeps redirecting toward education and a compassionate and informed male population. Try as he has, abortion clinics still do not have any counseling or information for the male who attenda an abortion, even though Shostak has lobbied for just that kind of treatment for guys who quite possibly might just be as surprised about their own lost fatherhood as they leave that little event. At least he has created a web site as a means to inform some men about it.

I wonder if US News would like to try an interview with the two Phd.'s who presented their findings at the Chicago conference. There is a rustle in the mulberry bush friends. Pain untreated results in more pain lets find out why and give the fathers a way to reclaim their fatherhood.

men and abortion

The article shows some level of sincere effort to understand the effect of abortion in men, and so it is a start. Nonetheless, there is a major failure in addressing the reason that abortion affects men: it is because they were fathers of a child that was not allowed to be born.

Yes, it must definitely be said that it is the most painful experience of their lives and therefore they need help. But not the kind of help that says to him: it is okay, it was just a fetus. It needs to address precisely what those men know: there was a baby and they were the fathers. Their suffering is real and it is called post abortion syndrome.

If men do not recieve the right kind of emotional help, they will continue to suffer until the end of their lives, locked up inside.

One more point to keep in mind: no amount of contraception or sterilization of any kind is going to stop their pain. In fact, it keeps them locked up.

And it is very possible that these men may never want to be fathers again, out of the great fear that they will fail their child again and the child will die because they did not do everything possible to support the woman and the child.

Men possess the instinct to be protective. This natural instinct is attacked by abortion, brought about by their support or passive acceptance of the abortion, and it contributes to the destruction of the genuines gifts that men can bring into their life and in the lives of others.

One must be grateful that this conference in Illinois on this issue was held and one must hope they continue to do this work, and it is also recommended that people get in contact with the organizers of the conference to obtain the healing they need.

Abortion is the great lie and it destroys everything. But there is hope and healing and it is real and permanent.

4% or 20%

Interesting that our research-happy society won't touch this topic. Almost 50 million legal abortions are documented, yet a 1984 book is the best we can do? Shostak's research is valuable, but not enough. Even if half of the abortions are by are by repeaters, 4% of 25 million is 1,000,000 men in need of help! Thank you Vicki Thorn for your Men and Abortion Conference!

Freedom of Choice for Men -- Where is it?

Women assume and have the legal right to make the decision to abort. Men have no legal right to choose. The woman can abort without telling him, or have the baby and commit him to 18-21 years of child support. Under this unfair legal system, men will be self interested. Give him a choice and women and men will be more responsible.