A Sociologist's Take on How Abortions Affect Men
Reader Comments
Greetings to everyone
I am new and wanted to make a quick topic to acquaint myself. My name is Josh and I came across this particular place by a quick Google and desired to just say howdy. I would prefer to engage in emerging topics and look onward to speaking with everyone.
My best hobby is http://www.worstpreviews.com/forums/member.php?u=28060 - computer repair and this is my very first website that I have ever made.
Interesting Information
I found lots of interesting information on health.usnews.com. The post was professionally written and I feel like the author has extensive knowledge in the subject. health.usnews.com keep it that way.
weird
I had my abortion last week I was 6 weeks pregnant and my husband reacted really numb as if it never happend he doesn't even talk about it and when I do bring it up he changes the subject, men keep they're emotions inside we women find it a relief to talk about it. When he would change the subject it would hurt me and make me feel more depressed, so men talk to ur women they need support and hey u never know maybe after ur done talking ull feel some type of comfort
abortion?
I dont know what others have experienced with an upcoming abortion. The decision to abort my child at the age of twenty three is a big one. My girlfrind of 8 months is twenty two. Neither of us has jobs, and we still have plenty of college ahead of us. Se feels like i am being numb. In a discussion that we had i broke down to her cried letting her know that one day i will give her a family. Today though isnot that day. I feel like bringing a child into this world right now would be punishment on that child. My girlfriend is very sensitive, and i know she doesnt feel well, and i am trying to be supporive. She keeps puting words into my mouth. Making me out to be a bad guy. She is in her own way trying to convince me it is wrong to get an abortion while she is telling me she is going to get one. My mind and heart are being pulled in several directions. I know if any man has ever been through what i have been through in the past few days, is most likely still emotionally scarred. I am pro abortion not because i dont wat the responsibility, but because i have a child, and i cant take care of the one i have. If ive wasted someones time on the subject. great you have listened... Abortion is hard on men, because sometimes we know what is going to be best. SOMETIMES. Right now i feel is one of those times for myself, and my partner. Anyone who disagrees, well i guess you are one of those everything will work out people. I'm not one of those peope...
Abortion Kills
Abortion kills a human being, hurts all of those involved in it and grievously offends God. Sex outside of marriage also offends God. So follow Gods will for you and you will have peace.
A thought about Arthur Shostak's research
So...Dr. Shostak interviews more than 3,000 men sitting in the waiting room of abortion clinics and, on the basis of that information, concludes that the abortion event was one of the most stressful of their lives - but they aren't scarred afterward.
How does he know what occurs afterward? These men haven't experienced "afterward" yet - they're still in the midst of denial, confusion, anger, sadness...more confusion.
While Shostak does know something about the pre-abortion and "during the event" emotions and thoughts of men, his research simply doesn't equip him to conclude that no long-term scarring occurs. He says, in the interview that only about 5% of the men "take away remorse and guilt." How does a questionnaire completed at a clinic tell Shostak what a man "takes away" from the abortion experience? How is long-term remorse and guilt measured when an event is happening at that moment?
The author is relying on inappropriate research and unfounded conclusions for this article. I'm disturbed that Dr. Shostak presented himself as an authority on this subject when his research clearly did not cover the post-abortion responses and effects in the lives of the men he interviewed.
post abortive men
Men have not had a forum to express their grief and regret. That does NOT mean they don't experience negatives from the abortion. Give them permission without judgment/condemnation and many will tell you it still hurts!
Effects of abortion on men...
Increasingly, that is, since we as a country began distributing condoms and in so doing endorcing pre-marital sex and especially teen sex the establishing of solid relationships got thrown out the window. As human beings we adamantly refuse to be told what to do! The teaching of self respect by way of abstinence (to borrow a pun) is like throwing the baby out with the dishwater. Personal responsibility and family planning is imperative for all married couples, otherwise there's absolutely no use even having sexual intercourse to begin with, period! Abstinence is about love and self-respect all else is a pack of lies, aka, "oh, we don't feel like waiting." Such a mind-set is nothing but pure BS and selfishness.
So label me a moralist; and being divorced I've no room to talk...other than by God's Grace that I'm still alive to tell about it. And personally, I would never go for abortion unless my wife and I were in agreement if her life was at critical risk. Men who don't want to deal with abortion? What's the matter, is your relationship a one-sided affair? Then don't get pregnant with your spouse just because the both of you don't want to wait! End of conversation.
Effects of abortion on men...
Increasingly, that is, since we as a country began distributing condoms and in so doing endorcing pre-marital sex and especially teen sex the establishing of solid relationships got thrown out the window. As human beings we adamantly refuse to be told what to do! The teaching of self respect by way of abstinence (to borrow a pun) is like throwing the baby out with the dishwater. Personal responsibility and family planning is imperative for all married couples, otherwise there's absolutely no use even having sexual intercourse to begin with, period! Abstinence is about love and self-respect all else is a pack of lies, aka, "oh, we don't feel like waiting." Such a mind-set is nothing but pure BS and selfishness.
So label me a moralist; and being divorced I've no room to talk...other than by God's Grace that I'm still alive to tell about it. And personally, I would never go for abortion unless my wife and I were in agreement if her life was at critical risk. Men who don't want to deal with abortion? What's the matter, is your relationship a one-sided affair? Then don't get pregnant with your spouse just because the both of you don't want to wait! End of conversation.
Congratulations
I congratulate US News for the courage to take the issue of men dealing with abortion a step further by speaking with Prof. Shostak. He is pioneer in this field, first having written about this issue in 1984 when no one was willing to consider the issue of the impact of abortion on men. He is to be congratulated on his persistence in pursuing this issue!
I personally have spoken to many men who have contacted me seeking help in dealing with an abortion. Abortion is an event that often changes its meaning with new life events. I have spoken to men who would fall into Prof. Shostak's category of those most impacted, but I have also spoken to the other men. One man spoke of the abortion of 52 years ago. Abortion is always a life changing event! We need more research in the long term effects of the abortion experience on men.
If 5% of the men involved in the more than 40 million abortions in this country are deeply impacted or mentally scarred, that is a sobering number of people who may need assistance.Two million men or more may be in need of affirmation that what they are experiencing is felt by others as well.Whether they were "on top of it guys" or not, they are entitled to care.
Prof.Shostak acknowledges that for the other 95% it can be a sobering experience.It is my experience, having listened to a lot of men, that there can be a sense of loss and grief that may emerge later. It may be the birth of another child or a pregnancy loss, such as a miscarriage or still birth that may ignite the need to deal with the abortion experience.It may be the loss of a relationship or the death of someone significant in their life.A variety of life experiences can trigger the recollection of the experience and its meaning in his life. The reality is that we are just beginning to explore in a serious way the long-term effects of those who were sobered by the event. Bereavement specialists have long recognized that pregnancy loss can have effects on men.It is time that mental health professionals and other caregivers recognize that for some men, abortion is a life-altering experience that needs to be addressed.
The "Reclaiming Fatherhood" conference was an attempt to examine the issue and open the door for discussion. Many men who had experienced abortion were in attendance. They expressed their gratitude for the conference. It is time someone listened and gave them the opportunity to speak from their experience. Let us open the dialogue. Abortion is the law of the land. What are we afraid of?
