The 'Silent Phenomenon' of Male Sexual Abuse

35 Years of Silence

Adam, thank you for joining the rising chorus of men speaking up to address the issue of male sexual violence and to offer hope and inspiration to others who suffer in silence.

In 1974, at the age of 14, I was abducted, beaten and sexually assaulted by a 29 year old serial pedophile. He was identified, arrested and indicted but never convicted. He wasn’t convicted because someone brutally beat him to death in the streets of Providence, Rhode Island before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.

In just a few weeks my novel, Men in My Town, based on actual events, will be available on Amazon.com telling the story that’s been a secret for over three decades. Please take a moment to read ” A conversation with Keith Smith, Author of Men in My Town,” to learn more about the book and male sexual assault. The “Conversation” is on the Men in My Town Blog at http://meninmytown.wordpress.com.

Thank you.

Why is the sexual abuse on men hidden?

For some reason people find a reason to hide the fact that males get sexually abused too. All the help that people give out is mainly focused on women. Which I don't believe that the focus should be all on women. Guys get affected everyday. We as the people of America should come together to help the sexually abused males of America. If you think about it, one of those males could be your son, or your brother. why would you not want to help them, I am only 14 years old and i already know more than the average 14 year old should, I also know the difference between right and wrong, and not having help for males is wrong. I'm going to try my hardest to help ones who cant find help, and I am asking yo, America, to help me help others who need it more than some!

Been there...

I was abused/violated by a peer who manipulated me into doing things I didn't want to do when I was younger (no need to get into details, other than to say the violation was severe enough). This has caused me no end of issues to say the least. Over the past year I reached out to one of the above mentioned organizations and have been helped by the support of a wonderful group of men that have all been through one type of sexual abuse or another. I can tell you that it happens to all types, and that those that carry this out are varied as well. One thing is certain, the damage done to the individual is very real and causes many issues in that persons life. Things like depression, substance abuse, problems with interpersonal intimacy and many other problems are all very common. Anyway, the more the word gets out that this happens the better. Many people just do not understand how bad this is or how hurtful it is to the individual that was abused; I think there is especially a bias against accepting that male victims would have problematic issues due to abuse or even accepting that it happens. I can tell you from the interactions I have had with others, and also based on my own experiences that it does happen and that people are very much hurt by it. There is a tremendous amount of pain and hurt involved that goes along with this. Thanks for posting this and helping get the word out.

male sex abuse is epidemic

Male sexual abuse may reach as much as 30% of males under 18, compared to 50% for females. It is a gigantic problem that reaches into the homes of many, many people. In my work with abusive men, most of them have been sexually abused, and it is part of their profile of emotional dysregulation and mistrust that leads them to emotional armoring and objectification of others. And it is *everywhere,* not just in jails and rectories.

ABUSE

Abuse is abuse,it does not matter if your male or female

please report it. That is the only way that it will ever

be stopped.And always remember that abuse is not your fault.

So, what to tell the boys in "curriculum"

Stay out of locker rooms as much as you can. Behave yourself and stay out of prisons and jails. Stay out of male dorms and fraternities if you can. Stay away from unmarried "religious" workers. Also, stay away from porn.

Clueless

I am a long-time married (to a woman) male who has always loved plenty of heterosexual sex in the marriage. Before that, as a teenager, I liked private masturbation with ONLY VERY GENTLE fantasies. I dreamed of loving and being good to somebody, and somebody very willing, not coerced. The idea of gently loving a woman is what made it HOT both in marriage and in the fantasies of adolescence.

Maybe I'm weird. But I could no more get an erection in the process of mistreating another person (either male or female) than I could fly to the moon. What makes male abusers tick?

Is it just too much testosterone? Too much protein? Too much porn? Too much contact sports? Abuse by another as a child? Too much anger? Genetic predisposition? WHAT?