Men Are Victims of Domestic Violence, Too
Reader Comments
More info on DV
Try Glenn Sacks, and watch for a poster 'Gunner Retired' (me). Or F.R.A.M.E.D.. I'll hook you up with the 411 on this.
GR
Battered Husbands
I agree that there is alot of "physical" domestic violence against men that goes on. I am a victim and I know of many others. But there is also just as much mental abuse, if not more. They use the kids against us and brainwash them to hate their father, as well as their whole other side of the family. My boy of three at the time told me in a phone conversation that "Mommy said you used to beat her with a baseball bat". I said, "No, buddy, daddy never did anything like that". "Well", he said, I believe Mommy because Mommy doesnt lie. How many false allegations of child abuse do we as men have to face? In Canada I read that 80% of allegations of this nature are proved false! And what happens to the accuser. Usually nothing. It's not just us but they are also mentally abusing our children. This is the worst kind of abuse for both fathers and their children who suffer in many different ways for years if not for the rest of their lives. My children now run from me when they see me. They have never done that before and have no reason to do it now except that I have an ex-wife who is obsessed with destroying me. Only because I caught her cheating on me and I wasn't supposed to find out. Her first words out of her mouth, at her boyfriends house were, "What are you doing here slick?" In April I had the opportunity to file for custody because my ex-wife married a registared sex offender. I have two girls and one boy with her. My daughter was so convinced that it would be a terrible thing for her to live with their father that her mother told her to tell the judge that I had friends over and let them molest her. Now I know that this didn't happen because I never had friends over when the kid's were with me. It was always only family. So now when I go to watch my daughter play soccer, of course, she don't want me there, but everybody's jaws drop and I get mean looking stares as if I shouldn't belong there. Now the natural love that I have for my kid's has been turned into something perverted. My visitation was terminated, I have no phone contact and they are living with a child molester and no one will do anything about it. He has visitation rights with my children and I don't! In an instant chat I had with my daughter after finding her ID on her myspace, she said, after asked about the molestation, "why tell the truth when you don't have to". I have saved this chat. She went on to say other things her Mom has told her that are completely false. Such things like I'm homosexual, I've raped their Mom, I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict, I collect child porn, I assaulted a police officer, exposed myself indecently, harrassed a stripper, (I have never been to a strip club. I am a Christian who everyday strives to be like Christ.) I am glad that it is being brought out in the media more and more that things are not as one-sided in DV and women would like everyone to think.
Self Serving
When folk like "domestic Violence Expert" tell us that Men attacked by women are not victims, but perpetrators, it is important to remember that as someone who has worked in the field of domestic violence for over 20 years, their livelihood is tied directly to orthodox interpretations of domestic violence.
Recognizing the reality of male victims of domestic violence would threaten the flow of VAWA funds to the organizations that employ such people.
There has been a great deal of research done by Murray Strauss, Richard Gelles and Suzanne Steinmetz (google those names for data on domestic violence victimization rates) which soundly refutes the implication that the rate of victimization of men is overstated by this article.
Revision
The traditional HTML tags don't function properly on comment sections like this, sometimes there is a sort of auto detect that will link your tag, so Matt I'm just reposting you link.
http://news.mensactivism.org
Yes Eva, We Hear You
And there is more. While men usually get the blame, much much more is going on in homes that is being aired publicly. In many, many cases, the woman is commiting violence and abuse on not only the man in the house, but also the children.
Women are the leading abusers and murderers of children in US homes today.
BUT THE MEDIA DOESN'T COVER THIS LITTLE INCONVENIENT TRUTH.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm04/figure4_2.htm
Our government enacts laws on "violence against women" and systematically ignores or blocks testimony at congressional hearings from experts on family violence.
How many men and children must die before congress acts responsibily. Contemporary studies indicate that women are just as, if not MORE, violent than men. Yet, we see no legislation showing equal treatment of men.
actually there is lots of doubt
you say: "There's little doubt that women endure more of all types of domestic violence than men"
There is a significant amount of doubt about who suffers more from DV. In fact there are many MANY studies that in fact women are MORE violent and prone to commit DV then men. The problme is the news media refuses to report it and the government is doing everything it can to hide the facts.
The stats from the CDC are rife with issues. What the CDC won't tell you is they define abuse against women to include being yelled at (and what married couple hasn't raised their voices in an argument). They also include arrests and police calls yet don't acknowlege that under current laws the "most likely" person to cause injury is to be arrested. In other words if there is no visible evidence arrest the larger person i/e the man. Police are also trained under the Deluth model which explictly state women and ONLY WOMEN can be victims of DV.
Another example a couple of years ago the funding for the Violence Against Women Act aka VAWA was up for renewal. This act violates all laws in that it specifically discriminates against men and there are provisions within the act that DENY male victims of DV needed services. There is also no corresponding Violence Against Men Act.
Congressional hearings were held and despite numerous request only those who could speak positivly about VAWA and who subscibed to the belief that women and ONLY women can be victims of DV. Advocates (including myself) for male victims of DV were DENIED the right to testify thus reinforcing the belief the "women suffer more from DV"
For starters I suggest you read the meta-analasys (study of studies) put together by Martin Fiebert:
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
I also encourage folks to go to mediaradar.com for additional information
The facts are that the past 30 years have led to an explosion of misrepresentation, propaganda and outright lies all designed to portray as the author of this article has written that women are the primary victims of DV and men are rarely if ever affected by it
And what about the legislation???
Excellent Article Adam - great to see mass media finally recognizing this issue and a journalist with the guts to say so.
What is really suprising is the view that women are only victims - this is the PC view which is rammed down the publics throat wholesale. The facts speak volumes.
What about VAWA the 'Violence Against Women Act' - Joe Biden's baby. It is clearly unconstitutional because it is gender specific. Additionally, hearings have refused to hear testimony on the subject of abused men. Just because men are physically stronger does not mean they are not or can not be abused - additionally - most are trained from early childhood not to ever hit a woman. So for an angry woman - it's open season.
Check www.mediaradar.org
this group is a respected authority on the misrepresentation of facts. They are currently asking the ABA to correct a slew of misrepresentations (with little luck I'm afraid).
Men are Victims of Domestic Violence, too
Throughout his short marriage my son was exposed to the most common form of DV, namely false allegations of abuse. He was issued a restraining order preventing him from seeing his children except in front of a security guard whose fees he had to pay. The only time the mother allowed him acces was during the work week, meaning that, as self employed, he missed one day's salary each week in addition. His parents, my husband and I, who previously had looked after the children while the parents were at work suddenly were allowed one afternoon a week of supervised visit. That, of course, was during the children's naptime.
When the court decided that all her allegations were false she violated the court order and absconded with the children but not before destroying the large family home in a desirable neighbourhood, for which we, my husband and I had paid the deposit of tens of thousands of dollars (we never got our money back). He was ordered to pay the repairs to the home so that it could be sold. He had always carried all the costs, including the mortgage and utilities.
After the divorce was granted she carried on with the accusations about non-payment of child support, etc. All of which were found to be false.
Eventually he was no longer able to carry on. His entire life became a nightmare due to the constant hounding by the judiciary.
He finally committed suicide. However, even in his death he put his children first: he masked it as a drowning accident so that his insurance would continue to pay the child support and they (she) were the beneficiaries of his sizeable life insurance.
This, dear readers, is the ultimate DV aganist men, committed by using the judiciary and law mkers and enforcers as proxy. Tens of thousands of men in North America alone commit suicide each year for the same reason. Their bodies can be laid on the doorsteps of each judge and politician.
Abuse of Law by Wives of India - Sec.498-A & Domestic Violence Act
False cases are filed under Sec.498-A without any convictions by the wives?They are just let off,unless the Husband files for defamation against his spouse at the higher courts.Why are not wives jailed or punished for the abuse of Sec.The trauma after such false cases on the boy,his parents,sister,brother and sometimes even small child who is not spared is horrifying. Senior Citizens are jailed without any proofs.Even in Murder cases proofs are required to convict the guilty.Wives just want to settle their scores by asking Hugh amounts from the In-Laws, so that she can withdraw the case.Isn't such a demand of hers from his husband & In-Laws tantamount to a DOWRY?What a mockery of such a Section,which has been introduced for guarding her from the evils of dowry,is being used by her to extract money in such a way.Cases of Sec.498-A & D.V are filed by the wives (97%-98% are fakes)just to harass her husband & In-laws & majority of them leads to Separation/Divorces.India is the only Country in the World to have such Draconian Laws.India is the only Country in the World where there a plenty of laws for the women & sadly not a single law that protects a man.And finally India is the only country in the World where Husbands & his Parents are jailed without any Convictions/Proofs or Evidences whereas such a thing is mandatory for Murders and other criminal cases.In another decade,India will be the only Country in World where every household will have only women and we will be proud not because of Democracy but sadly Wifeocracy - To the Wife,By the Wife & For the Wife.
Facts to make every Indian ashamed:
1.Indian men contribute 83% of the taxes to the government; still there is no ministry for men welfare in this nation. (There is a ministry for women,there is a ministry for children, there is a ministry for animals-so men are treated worse than animals).
2.Adultery is not a crime for women.Women are legally authorized to have multiple partners even after marriage.While a man can be sent to jail for an extra-marital relationship.(IPC 497)
3.In the last 4 yrs,more than 90,000 women have been arrested under false dowry cases.(The total number of innocent people arrested just last year is 200,000)For your information -just a wife's statement is enough to send the whole husband's family to jail(no proof required).
Also,an interesting fact is that 98% of the dowry cases filed is false(Research conducted by CISR).
Why does the media not cover this
Adam's post and many of the comments provide copious evidence that domestic abuse, indeed serious domestic abuse, is often committed by women to men, yet the media portrays it as almost exclusively men as the perpetrator. Why?
