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'Bad Dads' Reality TV Show Stirs Controversy

May 02, 2008 03:54 PM ET | Adam Voiland | Permanent Link | Print

Reader Comments

The complaint is with the title of the show.

Ambushing delinquents that are recklessly behind in child support for a TV show is not the issue. The issue is that the show is called "Bad Dads" and the show will propagate a stereotype that is harmful to men. Again, the US Government's own data shows that non-custodial women are MORE likely than non-custodial men to be "deadbeat", and despite having a smaller average amount garnished, have a higher percentage in arrears than men do.

That's the problem. A non-custodial woman is statistically more likely to be a deadbeat, and statistically more likely to be a greater percentage in arrears than an average male non-custodial parent -- despite having a smaller average absolute amount than the average non-custodial parent -- yet the show will focus exclusively on delinquent fathers, and propagates an inaccurate stereotype in the very marketing of the show.

The show, were it devoid of stereotypes that are not only insulting but wholly inaccurate, may have some redeeming quality in it. If it's just a vehicle to spread myths and lies, why bother? Don't we have enough sexism in our society already?

You Men Make Me SIIIIICK! UGH.....CARRY ON WITH THE SHOW, ILL CONTRIBUTE!

Look at these responses about what will happen to the child? What will this do to the child? Exposing their fathers on television can cause mental harm. Do you really think this hurting the child, or the mens' ego? What is the difference in exposing the deadbeat dads for not being in the children lives publicly then the children still hurting when other children tease them for not having one. Or they grow up poor because they have to depend on a single parent. What is the difference? I think the child would at least be happy to see the father they probably have not seen in months or even years. I have a son who after his father purposely got me pregnant and begged me to have his child bailed out on me when all options were gone. You know why he said he did it? Because I embarrassed him when he was trying to be with me...I have only seen him 3 times since then. Hes threated to have my child taken away by CPS, hes threatened my life, all in the hopes of not paying support. But he never offered to take him himself or help me in anyway. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He never answered his phone or returned my calls. My life has been severly impacted behind my decision to give in and sleep with this con artist. I was even willing to drop child support in order for him to play a role in his life. He didnt even care about the debt he was incurring, the consequences, or anything. He simply got a job that pays cash and got another girlfriend and has conceived again another child. He has no way of providing medical insurance for this child, food, clothe it, etc. Its unfortunate that men have the capacity and audacity to travel from woman to woman on a daily basis and populate the world. I think it needs to be some reperation for the women. It should not have to be the governments job to speak on behalf of single mothers. Do you know hes happily ever after with another woman. He has no responsibilities. Yet, most men will not date me because I am a single parent? And I work hard everyday and probably will for the next 15 years and beyond with still no hopes of my child going to college. I am disregarded as a poetential mate as if I made this decision alone? I deserve love too, but I made a bad decision that I am paying for for the next 15 years of my life. And that includes working hard, barley making ends meet, being alone, and stressed. While he continues to get back at women by impregnating them...You men are pitiful.Every other culture of men stick by their child, but Americans. At least Id feel that something is being done by this show airing. I may not have the child support, or the relief of being a single parent. But at least I can watch the show and others across American as they realize the consequences of having children and walking away to leave it on the woman. I really think they need a prison to be built for the sole purpose of deadbeat dads. Because if they cant pay their childsupport, they will eventually become a nonexistent member of society. They inturn is more of a burden in the community then the children of these poverty stricken households. Just lock em all up, 30 days for every month theyre behind...This is a good start, but soemthing more should be done. Possibly neuter men who have more than 1 child by different women who they do not care for. CHINAS' ONE CHILD POLICY SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME. I think men would all go gay if they cant comfortably release their semen into something warm and wet...Thats all they care about, not the woman, not the results. I wish death on every man that knowingly have sex with a woman unprotected. Theres no excuse of having a child you dont want to have. Theyre's condoms, theres abstinence, theres other forms of less risky sex. STOP DESTROYING WOMENS LIVES...Stop destroying childrens lives. Its time for something to be done about this... Its a problem that needs to be addressed. Its an epidemic, its a problem thats getting out of hand. Regardless of some of these posts saying these women are doing this and being deceitful or leaving them for money or whatever. There are more single parents then it is 2 parent households. All women arent wrong. Its always an excuse. You men are selfish and are contributing to destroying American society. Start the show.....I work 2 jobs just to take care of my son, myself, and pay bills, food, clothes, medical expenses, car,and insurance. But Im willing to work a 3rd to contribute to this show... The ratings for this controversial show is likely to hit the roof...It has nothing to do with being on any genders side. It has something to due with addressing common social issues that plague American right now. Everyone wants to see this. Even you men!!!

HERE IS THE Rights of A Stupid Male? rEAD HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your rights are a man is to know that since the age of 13 you have not been ejaculating water, its been sperm! At that moment you knew that you had the capacity to have a child. Whether you stick around or not, if you had sex with a woman without a condom that you knew you would not be with, you should not have slept with her and/or you shouldve wore a condom. If you are complaining about the obligation that goes along with being a non custodial parent, imagine what the woman is going through while doing what youre doing to maintain a place in society and being a single parent, while maintaining a place for them in society. What sense does that make with the arguments that the various wimps on here has proposed. You should have no fear of this show airing if you were making the right decision to begin with. I am a man that pays my child support. I have 2 children. Yes, it is a severe obligation, but they cant take care of themselves. And at least I can still date women. I do kinda fell bad for the women I slept with. They are still single, they work, and they have to deal with the schools and household bills, etc. The only thing I pay for is my part for childcare, food, and clothes. Which is probably still not enough on my end. But I learned a lesson after the second time. I can only afford two children, so I wont be having anymore unless I can say that I plan to stay by that womans side, and that she loves me just as much. Come fellas, whats right is right, and if I gotta man up then yall do too. Im 27 years old and remember how hard it was for me and my brother with my mother as a single parent. I saw how much she suffered alone but wanted the best for us that she just couldnt provide. How men that didnt deserve her mistreated her and us because they felt she was an undeserving parent. When my father lived life as if he never had any responsibilities. I didnt see but twice in my life. Once at 5 and once at 16. We have nothing in common today. I would never do a woman this way...Though things did not work out with the mothers and I, i PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT, and you should too! I could be selfish and scream that I shouldnt have to. That I should be able to screw anything alive and shoot my manhood inside knowing the result will be a little person and walk away leaving two people to suffer and never look back. What about the little persons rights? Dont they deserve two regardless of who was wrong. Was the mother wrong when you tried every trick in the book to sleep with her? Was the child wrong when you injected this woman with your genes? Stop going raw fellas. Stop haveing unprotected sex. What would say if it was a child you walked away from....But something you couldnt walk away from, like AIDS? Whos fought then? Its time to starting accounting for your actions. Its only so many times youre gonna get lucky with bringing bastard children in the world without stumbling across death..Again, I admit I was just as wrong as most of the men out there. All I wanted was sex. I lied to the first one. I made promises to her that I didnt mean. All I wanted was to have sex with. The sex was good. I busted all in her each time and loved it. I knew she could get pregnant. I didnt plan on being with her. But most of my friends had kids and wasnt doing nothing about it either. I figured Id tell her to have an abortion if she did end up pregnant, and Id just leave. Well, she did. But she messed me up at 22 yrs cause I wasnt ready and she didnt want to abort. Then I realized it was another girl who I really liked and wanted to be with and I couldnt let her find out about the girl I told everybody she was a slut. My family, friends, everybody dissed her. She couldnt even bring the child around nobody respected her. Man, I did this girl foul I know. But I told her to have an abortion and I felt it was her fought. But I know we all have a similar story like this. Thats why Im sharing mine. This girl chased me for more than 9 months. After about a year I got the child support papers. Yeah I hated her ever since. My and my then girlfriend tried our best to keep making her look bad, feel bad, I didnt want her. But this girl tried to be with me for 3 years later. I figured she had a problem because she wouldnt move on. But I wanted more out of life so I started making arrangements on the child support arrears. But I still dont wanna be involved with her or the child. It was a mistake. So paying child support is the punishment I know I brought upon myself. During the first 3 years I tried to work under the table, I didnt have a license, but my girlfriend looked out for me because she loved me. So did my family because they knew hoe fould she played me.(supposeably right) Now the second time was different.I was really loving this girl. But I was just young....So I had other girls too. She got pregnant. I really wanted our child though. But she found out I was cheating at about 6 months into her pregnancy. She left me. It was nothing I could do. She was going through her mood swings and I figured Id wait until the baby was born and give her time to herself. Months later I got another set of court papers with an appointment to take a paternity test. Man!!! At that moment I tried hard to get back with her. The baby was about 6 months at this time. We tried for awhile, but it just didnt work. I ended up sticking with the one I was with while she was pregnant. But this one right here is my true love. She is the one I shouldve had both kids with. It's been 4 years and were still together. The only problem with her is she dont like my baby mother or the when I spend time with my daughter. So thats makes thingss difficult. The good thing by paying child support is, neither mothers can expect anything else from me. I am free to move on and be with the one I really love, my girl. But it wasnt until then that I really learned my lesson. I do try to spend time with this child though. The mother and I have a decent relationship. But I think shes jealous about my girl. However; the point is that, I couldve walked away. I could blame it all on them. I could say its a sexist thing. But I do know that there happens to be a lot of single mothers out there. The worst part is, that Im not attracted to single mothers. Its too much of a headache dealing with other mens' children. My girl have no children and its just us. I have children yes, but I pay my child support. Therefore; technically, I dont. But if I have to pay child support, so you guys. And I wouldnt have a problem with the show coming out. That proves how much of a good guy I am for paying mine. Why should you all get praised for not paying for your children when its s few of us out there really paying. Thats not right. So get real! Man up and pay your dues....Or dont have sex! Im cool with the show running. I should see a few of my friends on there. Id love to have a reason to diss em with the rest of the world.

Dead Beat Dad Owes Daughter $63,000.00!!

I say go with the show!!!!! My ex-husband owes my daughter...now 19 and in college, $63,000.00 in back child support. Alaska Child Support Division has not done a thing!!!!! They just send us a monthly report, showing the newest tally.

This dead beat dad has never paid a dime....and I could understand this...if my daughter was a product of a one night stand...or the big "oooooops", but she was planned, and I was married to him.

I say, expose them for what they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A lot of people are crying men's rights.....are you kidding me???? This is a man's world....and you want MORE rights? I say let's focus on children's rights!!!!! And, there is nothing wrong with exposing these Child Support Division agencies!!!!! I know Texas is pretty tough, but States like Alaska which is where our case is held, has done nothing, even upon my numerous requests.

If someone wants to do a show on dead beat dad's to attempt to help these children....I'll be the first to sign up!!!!!!!!

Bad dads

Fox is completely missing the real issue around this sort of show. A childs best interest are what courts issue orders. Men and women fall behind on child support and some bail on paying. Many courts keep child support and visitation separate for a reason. Going after those who fall behind on child support in a public fashion is wrong. Some of these parents have active, regular relationships with their children. What if you were walking with your children and Fox showed up with their cameras. Their friends see it, and we know without Fox how mean kids can be to other kids. This show could literally cause mental harm to children.

Divorce, among numerious other systematic areas already causes enough harm to children. Do we really need tv show, which without a doubt will cause mental health issues with children. Dealing with mental health issues, I would not be looking forward to being flooded by new causes.

bad dads

Well, I have a good one for the show. My grand daughters father. He's NOT a dad. He lives near Charlotteville, va, my daughter and baby moved back with us due to domestic abuse. She put up with abuse for over 2 yrs, finally left him in the middle of the night. But the Virginia courts have ordered unsupervised visitations ,overnights, when the baby hadnt even seen him for 6 months all due to his negligence. He continues to abuse and neglect the child, we have proof, plus pediatrician called Va CPS which was a waste of time. And to top if off, for the past 10 months we have to help my daughter cover the $300 plus espenses to drive the baby the 10 hr round trips every other weekend so he can see her. he drove only 10 minutes until he recently moved over an hour further away, now causing the baby to go 12 hrs round trip. He was never ordered to pay child support, so she is again seeking it from WV. The baby has been gone for a yr and half, and he hasnt put out one penny in support, didnt even bother a call on Christmas or her 1st birthday. AND he continues to file false charges against us in Va courts, and stalk, harass, and threaten our family.

One of the Best Reality shows yet

I think this show would be great. Maybe it shouldn't be called BAD DADS, but maybe BAD PARENTS. This show is no different than COPS. Both shows want the good, bad, and ugly. My daughters father is 20 years older than me, only has 2 children, lives rent and mortgage free (which is only 2 miles from my house) , works everyday but tells me he doesn't want anything to do with our daughter because he doesn't like me. He has not payed any child support since December 7, 2007, he doesn't call or anything. We went to court in April and they did nothing to him. He has all the time in the world for all his girlfriends, but no time for the one girl that should mean the most to him, our Daughter.

The show is Pulled!!!! As of last night!!

Well all the Men Bashers - the protest has worked - over 6000 faxes and phonecalls later, Fox has decided to pull the show from ever even becoming a pilot - confirmed last night. Men's voices are being heard.

And for all the women who use divorce as an escape clause to get out of marriage instead of working on it - shame on you! 70%+ of all divorces are started by women and over 80% of PFA's filed by women (Protection from Abuse) are proven false and dismissed in courts. Women - your time of spitefullness and control is ending. We are speaking up and being heard!

As a divorced dad - I do pay my support because I owe it to my children to be responsible. But the system is a sham drivin by TITLE 4d of the Social Security ACT.

Men - keep your voices heard - it does work!

Bad Dads Show

I support the show but do agree the name should cover both sexes. I am a mother of a 7 year old son. I never "tricked" anyone to have him. I was married & we very much wanted a baby. However, after the divorce, one parties' priorities changed greatly. My ex husband has not seen our son in almost 4 years; we've been divorced for almost 6 years and I've recently found out my ex has 4 MORE CHILDREN. It's my understanding he' s not married to any of the mothers. He is a person that is very selfish & chooses to spend money on a gym membership, expensive clothes & vehicle, etc. I treasure my son & try to afford him the opportunities such as soccer & teamsports because I believe they are important & he enjoys them (not to mention the fact that he is very good at them). I work 2 jobs in order to support us. My son understands he's not able to attend the field trips at school, have the toys his friends have, or the shoes some of his classmates wear. I try to teach him to be greatful for what we DO have rather than what we do not. When it comes to his father, there are pictures of him in his room; I let him know the reason we don't see him is because of the fact he lives so far away. I don't ever want him to feel like it was his fault or something wrong with him that caused his father to make the decision he made. When I saw mention of this TV show, my first thought was, "How could I get on the show so they can find him & get some support for my son?" We can find fault in anything but, if this works for the children, kudos to those taking part in it. I hope Fox will choose to air the program. Perhaps then the parents that owe support for their children (regardless of whether they choose to be part of the childs' life) will pay for fear of embarrassment or cameras approaching them while they're asked WHY don't you take care of your children?

Still Pays to Hate?

May it be,

That is still pays,

To hate,

Discriminate,

And invigorate,

Ill-will?

And all "In the best interests of Children?"

Yes, extortion, embezzlements and racketeering;

Couched as the "best interests of our children."

I believe there truly is a choice.

We can choose to

- - champion the now popular chorus for staging spectacles of live “witch hunts;” or

- - embrace an integrity within for contributing virtuous investigative reporting and journalism that lend respect to the dignity of humanity?

In my opinion, plenty of valuable programming can be found along axioms respectful to humanity, while cautioning against hate and discriminatory incitations.

For example, valuable programing is readily available by which to inform the public of certain addicts of the Federal Dole?

Thee sick addicts of appalling captivations and fixations upon the “Candy Mountain” of our social security trusts need to be revealed for their rampant appetites thereof. We might even further endeavor to caste light upon their deep co-dependent rapports with other “IV-mainliners” that appear to be sheltering within our “States.”

And by such, we might even find rewards by the discouragement of hate; for hate, discrimination and the invigoration of ill-will certainly should never be rewarded. Nor should they ever be further incited.

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About On Men

By combing through the latest research in the often overshadowed realm of men’s health, reporter Adam Voiland hopes to steer readers towards the best that medicine has to offer men. Send your questions and comments to onmen@usnews.com.

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