Making the Most of the New Sexual Revolution
Love lives keep getting longer and better. Yours can, too
Speak up. "Most gynecologists say they have very little training in the area of intimacy and sexual function," says Lisa Martinez, the foundation's executive director, "yet women expect these doctors to take the lead." After being treated for breast cancer last year, Martinez, 53, initiated conversations with her doctors about her mastectomy scar, vaginal dryness caused by an antiestrogen drug, and the extreme fatigue she felt from chemotherapy—all of which put a big damper on her sex life. She included her husband in these discussions to put him at ease.
Among the best concrete ways to extend a pleasurable sex life: Stay in peak form as long as possible. "I suspect just as good sex promotes good health, good health promotes good sex," says gynecologist Stacy Tessler Lindau, whose findings in the University of Chicago study showed that diabetics, for instance, were more likely to experience lack of pleasure or difficulty maintaining erections. The study also found that a man's physical health was the most common reason couples gave up. Sexually transmitted diseases can lead to painful intercourse and lubrication problems years later, according to a study published last month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Beyond the obvious—practicing safe sex—McCarthy recommends such healthful lifestyle habits as keeping regular sleep patterns, maintaining a healthy body weight, and following a nutritious diet of whole grains, lean protein, and fruits and vegetables. Plus, avoid excess alcohol, known to interfere with sexual function, and exercise regularly to improve blood flow and increase energy.
At any age, of course, it's being in a relationship that's cherishing and intimate on many levels that matters most in elevating sex beyond mere mechanics. Joan Price, the 64-year-old author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, says that she had the best sex of her life after meeting her late husband seven years ago. "He saw me as beautiful, and I thought, if he thinks it, it must be so."
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