More Than Shy: How to Cope With Social Anxiety
Updated on 04/17/08
It's a condition that can make leaving one's house a terrifying ordeal. Asking someone out on a date can induce panic attacks. And the thought of speaking up in class or at a meeting can be so frightening that sufferers will try to avoid the situations entirely. It's called social anxiety disorder or social phobia, and while often debilitating—a new survey underscores its harmful effect on relationships—it's treatable.
At times, the disorder is difficult to distinguish from normal shyness, and some experts claim it's overdiagnosed and overtreated. Most estimates place the number of Americans with social phobia at about 15 million, but critics counter that those estimates include many people who are merely shy, not sick.
Puzzlingly, people with social anxiety are often gregarious and outgoing individuals—in certain contexts. Many have little trouble interacting with close friends and family in familiar settings. But when they are taken out of this comfort zone, their reactions can take a damaging toll on their relationships, education, and careers. "Those with social phobia tend to marry later in life, if at all, and regularly have trouble dating for fear of embarrassment," says Jerilyn Ross, president of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America.
The April survey, which Ross's association conducted among 287 people with the disorder, found that 35 percent thought their social phobia caused them to avoid intimacy with their partners. Yet it also highlighted the benefits of getting help: After receiving treatment, 59 percent reported improvements in their romantic relationships. Other research has found that socially phobic people tend to avoid participating in classroom activities and may drop out of school or college entirely. Many are underemployed and may even forgo career advancement if it means assuming public speaking roles or managing other employees.
As with many psychological conditions, the symptoms of social phobia lie on a spectrum of severity. Some people experience the anxiety only in specific situations—talking on the phone, for example, or using a public restroom. Others have a more generalized phobia that makes most kinds of human interaction stressful. Still others may be comfortable onstage and yet have trouble with one-on-one encounters. Some sufferers even have physical symptoms, including severe blushing, hand tremors, dizziness, excessive sweating, and heart palpitations, says Ross.
Paralyzed. At the heart of the condition, say experts, is not merely shyness but a paralyzing fear of humiliation or being judged negatively as boring or unintelligent. A shy person will eventually acclimate to an anxiety-inducing situation. Someone with pathological and pervasive social anxiety will not.
Such fear of stumbling socially or embarrassing oneself in front of others may not be entirely unfounded, a recent study suggests. Researchers found measurable deficits in social interaction when subjects with social phobia were asked to hold one-on-one conversations. On the other hand, the study, published online in the February edition of the Journal of Anxiety Disorders, also found that the same people tend to overestimate their shortcomings when giving a speech or performing in front of a crowd.
Some experts contend that the definition of social anxiety disorder is overly broad, sweeping up those with normal personalities and rational fears. Northwestern University research Prof. Christopher Lane, for example, says the line between shyness and social phobia should be drawn to "limit diagnosis to those chronically impaired." In his book Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness, Lane argues that psychiatrists and drug manufacturers have inflated the disorder's prevalence.
But Murray Stein of the University of California-San Diego doesn't think it's overtreated. "I often hear it said that shy people are coming forward in droves to take antidepressants," says the psychiatrist. "Think about it: Who goes out of their way to take costly medications with substantial—though usually tolerable—side effects for 'normal shyness'? It just doesn't happen."
Reader Comments
True
I read this article, and it resonated with me. My husband was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder 3 years ago, and for some time, I didn't want to believe he had a problem. I didn't want him to live life depending on antidepressants. I knew it would take a toll on our marriage. Fortunately, through prayer, a lot of work, and without the use of antidepressants, my husband was able to overcome his biggest fear-- taking a public speaking course in college. He recently completed the course with an A, and it is clear to me that he is starting to overcome the many fears and anxieties associated with this disorder. But, I would say all of the credit goes to God and my husband's ability to believe in himself. Thank you for sheding light on this subject.
You're right Margaret. A lot of medical doctors, psychologist, and psychiatrists have heard/know of it but doesn't know how to help someone with social anxiety. It's not well known by the general public and has only been recognized by the psychology profession in 1988.
I have social anxiety for over 11 years and it has limited me to a lot of things in life. I was very depressed and suicidal. But I have recently found hope in knowing that millions of other suffer from this and it CAN be overcome. They (two individuals who helped) have been very inspirational and have given me a lot of hope. =)
Thanks for Informing the Public
I suffer from social anxiety, and it has progressed to a state severe enough to have cost me two jobs within a year. The problem being that so many jobs, especially these last two for me, require socializing as part of the work day or week. Parties, luncheons, celebrations for one reason or another. And of course, bosses and other authority figures have always triggered anxiety and anxiety attacks for me.
What I noticed mostly in the workplace, though, is a misunderstanding of this disorder. It's recognized as a mental illness, but people often associate it with far more serious and dangerous disorders and come to the assumption that you are Norman Bates or Jack Nicholson in the Shining. If I told someone that I suffered from a physical illness, it would tell them nothing. It could be anything from a cold, arthritis, a heart condition, chicken pox, or even AIDS. But suffer from a mental illness, and at least in my life, I've seen a tendency for people to not want to learn that there are many different types of mental illness or to at least learn something about the one their co-worker has before jumping to conclusions.
Like anyone else, we have good and bad qualities, but we can certainly be productive in the workplace and in life. A caterpillar and a butterfly both need gentle handling and care. Whether someone is still struggling, like myself, in the cocoon of social anxiety, or has learned to overcome it or live above it, a little gentleness can go along way to easing fears and allowing productive creativity to flow through.
I thank you for publishing this article and informing so many readers about this disorder. I fear the public, but have found that the public often fears me (or at least the disorder in me that they don't understand). Your article can help bridge the gap between us.
Thank you
I stumbled upon this site to do research on "other people's problems" and found this fit me all too well in many situations, though perhaps not as severe as it used to be. Much of that due to my resolve and the Tibetan Buddhist teachers that took me under their wings. I've been learning to reconnect with the world around me in an entirely new way. Had that not occurred, I'm sure I'd be in a much more unpleasant shape. I thank all the wonderful beings who've walked this earth and all those who are doing their best to understand and help.
thank you very much
I read this article. This is more helpful article to me. This is what I exactly I am going through my hole life. I have no idea how can I going to control my nervousness by myselfs? For example, I am a high school student, I had lot of project through this school days. I will do everything and do a good job on poster and display everything. My big problem is presenting in front of class. I know what I have to do exactly. when my turn comes and stand in front of people, my throat stucks, it won't allow me to speak, my heart beat gets faster, I forget everything what I planned to say. This is what happening in my whole life. I really want to show my talent n front of poeple, but my body and fear won't allow me to do that:(
shuness
i have afriend thats very shy and never wants toleave and reading about this help me see why so thx
Add your thoughts
Your comment will be posted immediately, unless it is spam or contains profanity. For more information, please see our comment guidelines.advertisement
Unbelievable!
This is exactly what I go through and to see it written like my daily life helps me believe that it is possible for some to understand. Thank you Mr Shulman for the article! I fill indebted to you for this.
I almost laughed and almost cried at how close this was and how it felt to know that some do understand it!
Apr 18, 2008 11:57:57 AM [permalink] [report comment]