A Good Parent's Dilemma: Is Spanking Bad?

no spanking

I grew up in a home where I got spanked. I have 3 children and I knkew when I ever had children I would not raise them the way I was raised. It really makes me sick to my stomach when I hear these parents compare kids that were spanked to kids that weren't spanked. My children have never gotten spanked. I have a 19 year old daughter and she is a full time college student in an honors program. I have a son who is a straight A student . When you hear people say these stupid things like well this kid did this because his parents didn't spank him and this one is better for having got spanked. I think my example of my kids just blew their hypothesis all to hell.

Hitting is Abuse

The father in the article used a glue stick to hit his child. Do you know that glue sticks can damage tissue! Gang members have been known to use them on rival gang members!

I have started a petition to ban the barbaric practice of corporal punishment of children here in the US as 24 countries already have:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/america39s-behind--ban-the-physical-assault-of-children

Correcting a child for hitting by spanking...

QOUTED" He recalls spanking his 7-year-old son, Scott, after Scott hit his brother in the head with a shoe and then lied to his father about it. "I pulled Scott aside. We discussed what he had done: Why is it wrong? What does God's law say? That we don't take our anger out on others." Then Holt put Scott over his knee and smacked him on his pants with a plastic glue stick. "It's something that gets his attention and provides a little bit of pain to his bottom."

if you think its wrong for him to do to his sibling and explained it too him that way, why go back and spank him for something you just corrected him for? Its a touchy subject. I have an 8month old (soon to be 9) that likes to grab dangerous things (like the computer moniter) to wear they are almost falling on him. I tell him no sternly and distract him the best i can. Maybe when he gets a little older where he is endangering his own saftey, i might, and i repeat, MIGHT consider a spanking on the hand. but there are better ways to go about this whole thing.

Proper Discipline

Humanist Psychologists have recently purported that spanking leads to aggression. That is a lie. Bad discipline leads to aggression. If one administers the PROPER discipline in the PROPER mindset with the PROPER heart and attitude, then it works just the way God said it would. But when a parent spanks in anger, then there is planted in the heart of that child bitterness, confusion, distrust, and, yes, aggression. I have never spanked my children in anger - I do not allow it to get that far. Most parents will yell at the child 3, 4, 5 times before getting up and taking their anger out on their child. If I tell my child to do something and they disobey, I do not argue with them, I simply explain to them that their action is one of rebellion and rebellion cannot be tolerated. I spank them in love with the purpose of training, correcting and molding, never because I am angry. If I spank because I am angry, the child will grow up being afraid of making me angry - if I train them that rebellion will be answered with discipline, then they will fear rebelling against their authority. If they know that lying is bad, and that they will get into trouble for lying, they will be less likely to be persistent liars, but if they are only afraid of making Mom or Dad mad, then life is very arbitrary, there are no absolutes or order and they are left to determine right from wrong in a vacuum of inconsistency and poor parenting - rather than being taught and trained by a loving parent...

Spanking

My four siblings and I grew up with spanking as a method of discipline by our Dad. Mom never spanked, and never yelled. Spanking tapered off as we grew older, and I don't remember a spanking by my father past the age of five, or when I started kindergarten. My older brother is a M.D., my older sister is an Ed.D., I hold a B.A. and M.S. degrees besides an ADN, and am working as a R.N., after retiring from 20 years' service with the US Air Force. My younger brother has a B.S degree and is working as a L.Ac. (Lic. Acupuncturist). My younger sister has a B.A degree. None of us ever had trouble with school discipline, or the law. None of us smoked, drank, used drugs, or cursed.

Both my wife and I used spanking with our own three kids that also tapered off by school age. They all graduated college. They were all on the honor roll in high school, with one graduating Salutatorian from high school. One graduated Cum Laude from college. Altogether, our family of five earned 11 degrees. None of them smoke, curse or use drugs. We have had no problems from any of them, and we can only keep quiet when our peers talk about the troubles they have raising teenagers. Our house was also a home full of love, and our kids' friends were more often than not, at our house. We had up to 20 kids in our house over the weekends when they were teenagers. Saturday mornings were spent cooking up stacks of pancakes, and feeding the "bunch" took time, but was so satisfying. We knew where our kids were, what they were doing, and who they were with. Our rules were clear, and the consequences, equally clear, were carried out swiftly, as necessary. My mother told me that raising kids was like planting a tree: you start by staking them down, and as they grew, the stake gradually came off until they stood on their own. Worked well for us.

parenting artichle

hi,i have 3 children my oldest i adopted from ex wifes prvious relationship and he was mainly broughr up by grand parents ,because ex used to work full time and go out alot not spending much time with him,unfortunatly he turn out to have 2 children by age 21 dropped out of school at 16 has no ged lives with girlfreinds father and only youngest baby because one was adopted by my ex wife due to hime and girfreindbeing unfit parents !!! i tried to set boundries and disapline when he was yong but wife and grandparent would let him do same thing when i wasnt around,i had to work 2 jobs to afford home in jersey and was so burnt out by doin all thing outside of home on free time that when my son was with me alone we had no prolems and now he is selling shoes and isnteven aloud to use cash regikster,also quit job were he was in uninon and would have become full time if he tfried to get along w/boss,!!! now i also have 2 other children w/same wife that are mine and i have them on weekends and holidays,they are great children w/mannners and treat each other w respect,but when they are at ex wifes home they dont use manners consisyantly are punished incorrectly by being hit which i had stopped by lawyer and are sent to room for hrs at a time,the main prob is that i have been divorced for over 8 yrs and my children are ages 9 and 11 a boy and girl boy is older and girl seems to be more problem when at her mothers due to lack of disapline!!! what can i do she wont talk to me in a civil manner ,she cheatedc onme which was reason for divorce and is so bitter toward me that i cant comprehend why !! please if ayone has any idea how to help please let me know i cant keep spending money on lawyer to inforce divorce degree !!! frustrateded !!!!

Dr. Straus and fraudulent studies

Dr. Murray Straus has been called out by numerous professional peers as the author or facilitator of many erroneous, fraudulent and misleading studies. He creates the questionnaires himself along with a few sycophantic graduate students, and then carefully selects the demographical choices of his survey recipients, in order to validate his pre-conceived opinions on spanking and corporal punishment of children. None of his studies are validated by other peers, and some prominent medical professionals have actually stated that limited use of spanking may prove beneficial. This technique is akin to a soap company hiring a survey team to poll the public on the merits of their product, and the team only speaks with satisfied users of the soap. There is much truth in the saying that one gets the survey results one pays for.

It's very easy to get a parent to decry the use of spanking, if you call it corporal punishment and link it to burning a child with cigarettes, and beating kids with 2X4 planks and calling those actions similar corporal punishment. Such unprofessional conduct proves that Straus has an axe to grind and is not in the least conducting impartial surveys to improve the body of scientific knowledge around this vital topic.

I don't advocate a wholesale return to spanking, since good parenting can most often avoid the use of corporal punishment. But neither do I personally shy away from the occasional need of some kids to receive a swat or several to make the point of a negative consequence for misbehaviour. Trying to coercively persuade parents by means of contrived and false info can only backfire and degrade the true science of statistical research within Sociology.

Stop SPanking

No child deserves to be spanked, beaten or hurt in anyway. Children are human being and need to be loved and respected unconditionally. When children "do wrong" it's because is the only way they know how to respond to a situation , or how to manage their feelings and emotions.

Far too many parents assume that physical correction (PC) is the answer, but we know today that does more long term damage to a child.All children need discipline, but PC is NOT the way to go about doing this.

Most parents fails to realise that children learn from them - this includes bad habits like swearing, aggressive behaviour, etc.So when children display this same bad behaviour, who deserves the spanking ?

- Dale Phillip, Port Elizabeth, South Africa

Spanking

One of seen children, 6 of which were 1 year apart (how did my mother do it?). We were spanked, like most kids. My dad died when I was 15. My mom had always been a stay at-home mom. Four of us are doctors (one has a learning disability, and before my only brother died, worked in desk-top publishing). My parents both died early from cancer, but I think we turned out OK.

Spanking

Hi, Im Amy Johnson, I'm a softball player in Barnum. Im only 16, but I have a story, too. When my brother and I were in K., our dad was an alchoholic. You know how they are, always druck and hurting their wife. Having sex and all that. Well, he had a new version of spanking. Smashing his empty beer bottles of our heads. So now, Im w/my grandma, and living a good life compared to the other.

And Im pro-spanking now because I have the urge to hurt MY kids- (when i hav them). I mean, It doesn't do anything except make them hate you, but still, who cares, I guess.