A Good Parent's Dilemma: Is Spanking Bad?

Inherited Bad Habit

Applying pain to a youngster's buttocks to obtain compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

More people need to think critically before they just start having children and mindlessly copying and defending the same behavior as their predecessors.

Its like St. Augustine said: "Give me different mothers, and I will give you a different world."

Spanking

I spanked my children. One good swat, just to get their attention(with my hand). I tried time out. I grounded them to their rooms. None of this was very effective. I had a rule, I would nicely ask you not to/or do something, if no response, I would tell you, if no response, I would give them a swat. By the time they were teenagers, I rarely had to ask the third time. I know it sounds a little crazy to have to repeat yourself to your children, but I never yelled. When I ask my teenager to take out the garbage and he doen't respond right away, I tell him to take out the garbage and add that this is the second time I've asked. He gets up right away and does it. Call it programming or what ever you want. My children are 31, 29, 22 and 17. All very good people and starting families of their own. They have adopted the rule of asking, telling and then a swat. I guess they didn't consider it abuse.

can you spank without being frustrated?

I think the bans came about because I think most people tend to spank as a payback for the frustration they feel caused by a child not acting perfectly. I remember spankings I got as a child and they felt more like paybacks than real discipline. I was spanked past age of 8, and I remember feeling resentment and humiliation.

Spanking Pros and Cons

Ok, when I was a kid I was spanked for doing things wrong. I knew what I did wrong and knew I deserved it but still resented it. But yet I LEARNED from being spanked. I LEARNED what to do and what not to do. I LEARNED that what happens in the real world is that noone really gives a care on what your problems may be because they have problems of their own. Granted I did some really stupid things as a kid but who didn't? We were all kids once and at least at one time have done something that our parents did not like. And yet here I am, 22 years old, and I'm very respectful to others and know what not to do as an Adult because the police would NOT hesitate to put someone in jail. But yet I was spanked as a child. Now that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person and others who have been spanked as a child aren't bad either.

Now for example, my cousin. He has never been spanked in his life. He has been caught smoking 3 different times and he's only 14 years old. He is now considered unruly. He is currently on house arrest and cannot use his cell phone. But yet his mother let's him do those things at home. To me, thats just bad parenting. You're basically letting your child walk all over you and their not going to learn anything from that going into Adulthood. Now if he would have been spanked that might have changed.

But also theres a limit to spanking. Now using different things to spank such as extension cords, coat hangers, boards, belts ect. can be over doing it. It's just the amount of force put into the spanking. Now myself I wouldn't use extension cords or coat hangers but boards and belts I would but I would limit the amount of force that goes into it. The ONLY reason I say I would use boards or belts would be because just the bare hand wouldn't affect them enough to get the picture of what they did wrong.

So basically, I'm for spanking but with a limit. You just have to define that fine line between disapline and abuse.

Spanking is violence!

Thank goodness I was raised by a Japanese Mom who never spanked. If a person behaves differently than you desire, it is no reason to hit them; espcecially if they are a child! One night on the local news an anchor woman described her support of spanking and how she felt fine about hitting her child. A few months later she found out she was pregnant and scans showed her child would be born without hands. I guess spanking a child like this would be considered abuse? Children are precious and fragile physically and emotionally; they are the ones to protect and not injure. Assaulting an adult will land you in jail which is where you belong if you hit children.

Hitting teaches children to be hitters!

Hitting people is bad, children are people too.

Spanking is Risky (Part Two)

I agree that spanking can work. But I've watched how spanking can turn into a bad situation. My father spanked me on occasion. He would sit down with me and also give me the "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you speech". I don't think my father was being abusive at all.

However, I've witnessed, as an adult, spanking being used in ways that are criminal. Some people start out using spanking in a manner that is "acceptable" and end up using spanking as a means to vent.

This is why I think that spanking is risky. I will admit. I wish I never would have spanked any of my children.

Spanking

As a child I was spanked once or twice. My parents really never gave me swats on my bottom, because they could think of alternatives. I was aware though that not all kids had it as easy as me when it came to discipline. I was a great child for the most part, but needed to be punished sometimes. Sometimes I would get smacked in my face. I remember that no matter how bad a smack or a swat hurt that no pain was too much to where I cried or screamed out loud. I remember one spanking in particular (of course I did not budge). Whenever I was hit, I did not consider it to be abuse. I did not like receiving the punishments, but I took what I deserved. Personally, I believe that there are acceptable alternatives to spanking. However, I believe that as a parent that it is perfectly fine to spank your child as long as you are aware, as well as the child, as to why you are administering the spanking. It depends on the individuals maturity level, and how deliberate the spankings are delivered. Always be aware of why you are doing what you are doing. Explain to the child at all times why you are doing what you are doing before and after the spanking. I am a nineteen year old college student, and I will spank my kids when I have kids, if they need it and deserve it. Just in case you all are wondering I am going to school to learn how to be a teacher, and yes I think that teachers should be given the authority to paddle students when absolutely necessary. With all honesty I believe that there are better alternatives to spanking, but believe me, I really do believe that spanking has its place.

No Spanking

Amy is probably one of those stupid women who is always getting beaten by her husband.

spanking

I now realize how dense I was and you guys are right. Spanking does help. I just tried it on my kids. I hope you other people don't make the same mistake I have made and quit being ignorant.