More Than Shy: How to Cope With Social Anxiety

Hope this encourages...

For those who want some non-medical help...

Check out Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend.

Also, any book by Eckhart Tolle, Joel Goldsmith, or Emmet Fox. They are spriitual rather than psychological (except Boundaries), but they helped me help myself. Very beneficial reading, in my opinion. You can change your personality, you can change who you are, and you can change your environment. What you can not change are other people. Let them be who and what they are; focus on yourself. They are there, you are here; keep them there while you stay here. Just keep everything simple; the books explain it so much better than I.

I used to be shy and afraid of other's reactions; then I realized I was living too much under the influence of being raised by my mom's personality- she's very shy, not that I would have ever known it had (several) someone not told me. At 15 yrs I decided that shy was not me, I didn't want to be shy, and broke (or hatched) out of my little protective shell.

Ten years later I was finally comfortable in my own skin, so to speak. I decided I wanted to be social, and I was - and made lots of mistakes along the way. But I also met lots of beautiful personalities and saw amazing miracles because of my decision. Looking back, I'd do so again. What I gained in soul enrichment far exceeds any pain felt along the journey.

You CAN decide to change yourself, and you CAN succeed at it. Decide who and what you want to be, then be what you decided. Don't think; just be. "Do or do not; there is no try," as Yoda would say. Easier said than done, true. Ten years is a long time, but the results are so worth it! Whatever you decide, do not give up, however long it takes. One decade is a small price to pay for who I am now. God bless and heal all who need it.

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social anxiety

I've been diagnosed over several decades with PTSD, depression, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder (I don't think so) and now, "anxiety disorder" with obsessive-compulsive traits. I identified with various points in the article. I am usually at home, have been underemployed and now on disability, have been very anxious by authority figures at work, and even colleagues. I've also failed at sustaining a relationship, despite dating over the years. I'm still single and now 53. I've taken all kinds of psychiatric medications and have had decades of therapy. I'm even trained as a therapist. People usually find me easy to talk to, interesting, funny, kind. It's so ironic. Yet, I always fear that I'll be depressed and a burden to others, that being single and in poverty (despite a masters degree and many talents in the arts) will make others feel I'm on the fringe of society, too broken. I worry about running out of topics and knowledge, and being thought boring and unintelligent. I don't have much hope of conquering this. I don't even have the temporary esteem boost that used to come with a more youthful physical appearance. A few friends, my art, and a Buddhist philosophy helps when I remember it. I wish there was a support group for anxiety locally. I should plug into resources online in the absence of any in my community. Does anyone know of a good website for mutual support?

More than shy

I am 48 and I was born this way. I will never change. It is who I am I guess. I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to. I can't make phone calls. I can't talk to doctors. I have a world I function in ok. Got through college but never participated and never once asked a question. I never dated but somehow managed to get married. Its nice to have a spouse to deal with the world for you. I never knew until recently there was another name for this problem other than painful shyness. I hope other people can be helped. I wish I could have been helped 30 years ago when it mattered.

more than shyness

my name is kunle kabiawu from NIGERIA i am 17 years old.I am extremely shy and this has affected my relationship with people and i frequently have panic attacks it has also affected my academics and caused generalised anxiety disorder.please help me i am about to drop out of school

Shy Bladder - a social anxiety disorder

Check this out:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=50871

More than shy

Please How can someone overcome such a condition as this I seemd to have tried everything but couldnt find something that worked. Thankyou very Much

support groups & self help books

check out the website for the National Alliance for the mentally ill(NAMI) http://www.nami.org/

They might be able to provide you with some help :)

Best wishes:)

I was going to school at a large university but despite having good grades and all four years of college paid for, I left after my first year. The only friend I made was my roommate but she left after the first semester, so I was alone most of the time. I made a couple of friends in class but ended up pushing them away when I really didn't mean to. I'm still going to school back home but I hate it, I have almost no social life and have constant suicidal thoughts. But I know I need to stay positive and not lose hope, I wish the best to everyone suffering from this disorder.

living a lonely nightmare

my son is 32 and has absolutely no social life. He still lives at home and has no friends. We have been looking for help for so many years and he has tried so many medications and nothing has helped him with his anxiety. He left collegs twice and has lived a very solitary life for years. It breaks my heart as his mother to see my son live such a lonely life.