More Than Shy: How to Cope With Social Anxiety
Reader Comments
What do I do?
I need help with this subject as well. I had an anxiety attack one time as a senior in college and it's like I can't forget about it. I've been feeling them more and more since that time. If I arrive after/before somebody I can feel myself start sweating, my heart beats really fast, and I start feeling dizzy. It's a crazy feeling. I also tremble. I was at a wedding this weekend and just walking in I started shaking. I could feel it and I prayed that nobody could see. All my friends were in the wedding and I new most everyone there. We had all been hanging out all week. I don't know what happened. As soon as we walked to the reception all was well again. I had a drink and I was fine...running around...talking to everyone like it was just another day. Had a great time. Just don't understand how the feelings can be so different in a matter of 30 minutes. I am in 2 weddings next year and I am really scared that I won't be able to do it. If I faint and ruin my best friend's weddings I'll be so upset. What do I do? Should I get medicine for these occasions?
Looking for top quality Cognitive Behavorial workshop for those with Social Anxiety Disorder
Our daughter has severe social anxiety disorder which became apparent as young as 5 years old. She is now 17 and we have tried various therapies but the isolation and the symptoms persist. Does anyone know of an excellent 3 to 5 day workshop or "intensive" that works directly on this disorder? I know some exist but finding them is another story. Thanks for any input!
I am with all of you
My heart goes out to all of us. And I say 'us' because you are not alone. I'm a 29 year old male from Chicago and I've delt with these irrational social fears for atleast 13 years. It had gotten progressively worse but now I'm getting over it. Rest assured, it CAN be done. I have had a full blown panic attack during an interview, lost jobs and withdrawn completely to sleep for 12-15 hours a day. It all has to do with getting 'caught' in our mind. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to contact me directly at straightsnakestyle@yahoo.com and we can communicate and have a heart to heart. I love you all. It's okay. -Jay-
I think i'm suffering from social anxiety as well.I'm trying not to let it bother me though but it ruined my education last year.This year i'm trying to fight it but its so hard i sweat excessively in social situations,like today when i was at an interview i had to go into a room with different students who were also at the interview and my t-shirt was wet and i'm sure that someone turned round and said something cheeky to me about it.I can't concentrate with people around me i blush alot,i feel myself burning up its horrible but you all just have to fight it.Sometimes you need to go through the pain barrier to get places and that is why i'm fighting it because it only can get better surely.I am really puzzled to knowing what triggered my social anxiety off.
My Husband
My husband has been suffering for SAD for 2 years now, so much that he lost his job of 10 years, rufussed to attend family functions (including his daughters 3rd and 4th birthday party...and 2 minor surgeries she had to have)....He started sleeping on the couch at this time..(himslef...not because I wanted him too) We are financially strapped....losing everything we have little by little...while I am working 10 hour days and cleaning houses on the weekends to TRY and make ends meet....He has not left our house in 2 years...but I fear we will lose our home soon due to the hard financial situation we are in....he refusses to leave the house to see a doctor or councelor....I am a complete loss as to what to do anymore....I myself have been placed on Lexapro for my anxiaty....I fear my marriage will soon end in seperation or divorce....Can anyone give me any advise as to how to deal with this any longer.
Social Anxiety
I too have suffered with this disorder since I was in high school.(1999-2003) I go through periods where I am okay and able to work and even go to school... but as soon as my anxiety level goes up, I began to stress out and eventually have to quit my job and the last weeks of school are hell.. ive moved out of my house a3x times but i always find myself back home as soon as my anxiety level rises... it seems like every summer im at home depressed with no job ... im getting so tired of this, its like it has taken over my life. I take medication and it helps a little bit... but it sure has lowered my sex drive! :(
I know that im always going to live with this but i want to be able to cope with it...
Social Anxienty/Phobia
I can relate to pretty much all of you. Why I don't understand is why we have this and why we can't do anything about it. I'm 30 yrs old and started having the social anxienty/phobia mabye 2-3 years ago. Before then i could call anybody on the phone and talk to them freely, now, I am afraid to do that and don't understand the reason why. This just drives me crazy. I kept this to myself until last night when I told my wife who though I was joking with her when I told her about my anxiety. Here's an exmple though... yesterday I had to contact my corporate IT from home to help me with my computer. The first time i was very nervous, my heart was racing, and the moment the person picked up the phone on the other end, i was like sluring and stuttering for more then a minute until i got stabilized and then it went fine. Now, the second time I called IT again after an hour, this call went fine. I was nervous a bit but it was ok. I think it was because i got familiar with them the first time but not sure.
I also relate to dlh from Florida where because of work you have to attend the outings, i have to do the same and I basically just do it. It is extremely hard, facing all these people, sometimes putting you on the spot, etc. but hey I have a family to support and hopefuly i can find a good psychologyst here in Ontario to overcome this and all will be better then.
Cheers,
Mike
Social Anxiety
While I was researching social anxiety I came across this article. It helped me feel somwhat better about my situation due to the fact that I do not have SAD as bad, but it has definately affected my life for about 13 years. I avoid people in athority positions and do any thing I can to avoid critiscism at work and mistakes, although avoiding these situations does not work. I feel people are talking about me behind my back constantly. Alot of the time my lack of a response to a situation tends to make people mad and then they treat me like I'm a idiot. I feel alot of the time I agree with people when I do not necessarily agree I just want them to like me. Then I just end up feeling phoney. I think I lost a position when I was interning as a respiratory therapist at a local hospital and it did not lead to a position which is almost unheard of. I do not really know what I did and the new job I was hired for I feel like it will happen again and I do not know exactly how to act. Other people have already started getting more hours than I have, and other coworkers tell me that I have a soft voice and that I may not come across like I know what I am doing. I am confused right now. SAD has affected the people I have chosen to surround myself with. The spouse that I have had for 12 years in my opionin also had SAD, except it seems like he is fine with it and almost seems like he likes to keep talking about it to get sympathy. I only have two friends maybe just one due to the fact that the other friend never calls me I always call her. I hope to eventually seek help cause I just feel like I am so isolated and do not know how to change any thing right now.
Possibly someone will understand or relate.
I can relate to much of this article & to many of the comments that were posted. However, I still feel alone in my own personal experiences with Social Anxiety Disorder. I have had this illness since early childhood. It began when I entered preschool at 4 years old and continued to worsen over the years. I had very few friends & the ones I did have were all made by the time I was 6 years old. Even now, in my mid-twenties, I have only one friend, who is one of the few I made as a child. Because of my anxiety, I am lucky she has continued to stick around.
This disorder has inhibited every aspect of my life; keeping me from achieving my goals, from creating or maintaining relationships with family, friends & those around me, and basically, from having a life. I have virtually no contact with any members of my family, save one, none of whom suffer with SAD. At my age, I still have never had a job. I have never had any kind of intimate relationship with anyone, not even a date, which is absolutely unheard of at my age & is far more humiliating to me than even the fact of never having a job. I am more than 10 years behind in most areas of life & the humiliation & fear of judgment & rejection & criticism I feel only increases my anxiety in social situations. I must hear others' constant ridicule because of my lack of life experience & because I am too scared of almost any kind of human interaction, let alone confrontation, I never stick up for myself.
For years, I could barely come out of the house & at tmes, it is still terrifying to do. A lot of times, I get scared of a knock at the door & go upstairs because I know there is someone on the other side of the door who is going to expect me to behave sociably & normally & that is rarely possible for me to do. This illness has kept me from living the life I know I could otherwise live & from being the person I know I could otherwise be. It has basically ruined every aspect of my life thus far.
Almost a year ago, I finally got up enough courage to seek help. I did so only because the depression I felt as a result of the SAD had gotten so bad that I nearly committed suicide. I am now seeing a psychiatrist, a counselor, & going to two seperate places to assist me in finding a job (to no avail because of my lack of experience). I was diagnosed not only with SAD but also with Bipolar 1 Disorder, & have come to know how commonplace it is for the two to coexist. Although the depression has diminished to the point of non-existence at times, the anxiety, though better in a lot of ways, still inhibits my life. This is mainly due to the fact that I can not take the anti-depressants used to treat those with SAD because they may very well worsen my bipolar disorder, which is treated with mood stabilizers.
My hope is that for anyone whose experiences with SAD may be anything like my own, they will know that although they feel so very alone, they are, in fact, not. My hope is that those not suffering with SAD, or those with SAD whose symptoms are not quite as severe, will realize that those like me are not lazy, unlearned, anti-social, or rude, but that we have an illness which is just like any other illness, & are not at fault. & I hope that, although my experience wth SAD is probably incredibly unusual, it will make people who do not have SAD stop & think before they stand in judgment, criticise, or insult any of those of us who have SAD, or any other mental illness.
