We're All Lying Liars: Why People Tell Lies, and Why White Lies Can Be OK
Husbands, wives, friends, even young children tell lies. Sometimes, that might be a good thing
Reader Comments
God hates lying and He hates liars.
God hates lying and He hates liars. It is impossible for God to lie and everyone who belongs to Him will keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit (Psalms 34:13). Colossians 3:9 tells us not to lie to one another, because lying is part of our old (unregenerate) self with its evil practices and we ought to have stripped our old self off. Jesus said that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. He is a murderer there is no truth in him (John 8:44). If we are born-again and washed in the blood of Jesus then we must walk in truth and talk the truth.
The truth is subjective in when it comes to opinion
Just because you have an opinion does not make it the truth. What people think often varies from day to day, hour to hour. Many people who claim to never lie have a god complex or feel the great pain of someone who deceived them in the past. The human mind still manages to lie to itself in order to get what it wants. Your unconscious will always force you to misrepresent what the conscious interprets as truth if the unconscious feels the trade-off is appropriate. Claiming not to lie is simply a lie to protect ones self-image and is a hallmark of narcissistic personalities.
I don't have any friends.
I try my best never to lie. I try to say things in a positive light or just not mention things that will hurt people. If someone asks "Does this shirt look good on me?" you can always say "I like your black button-up better. You look great in that shirt." instead of telling them how fantastically lousy they look. This way you don't have to be a gutless liar and you can still say something nice. I can't stand people that will set a person loose on the world wearing a shirt that will make everyone laugh at them. It's mean. Liars do it because deception is easier to maintain than strength of character.
I'm honest and people get tired of it. Mostly because I'm severely bipolar and have borderline disorder... but partially because I bring stuff out into the open. Confrontation is healthy and important to communication and the resolution of problems. Lies and deception and secrets are poisonous. The weak favor dishonesty because it is easier than putting forward the effort to BE good instead of just representing yourself as good.
It may be good for you psychologically? Maybe I should start lying more.
lies
I have made a conscious effort since my adulthood (8 years) to avoid lies. I have a sarcastic nature, so I will sometimes "lie" as a comical relief, but I work to reduce that behavior as well. In highschool, I had this feeling of confusion about the truth and I realized that few people seem to espouse or seek the truth. I'm socially awkward naturally, but the whole honesty thing does seem to make socializing somewhat more difficult. My mom used to say "If you don't have anything NICE to say, don't say anything at all." However, this term "nice" is much too subjective and have since replaced it with "honest." As a result, I am frequently told that I'm mean. Asking why the truth is mean, I was told by a friend that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the truth and as a result, I am made to appear "mean". I treat this as the golden rule. I tell the truth, because I want to know the truth. If you can't handle the truth, maybe you should wear a label. I think honesty is very closely associated with responsibility. No matter how "nice" someone seems, the honest tend to be entirely more responsible people. I experience frustrations frequently due to the frequency of dishonesty I encounter. Perhaps this is the reason why us honest people tend to be less happy. Ignorance may be bliss, but I don't find it nearly as satisfying. I have learned, when asked for my opinion, if I think my response will not be what the person wants to hear, I will ask "Are you sure you want me to answer that?" And then the truth comes if they insist. This helps keep things a little less awkward than the guy who just doesn't respond as well as responding honestly straight off. It's ironic, in personal ads, I always see women complaining that men aren't honest, but when honesty is shown to them, they can't handle it.
Anyways, for an example of an honest man who is by no means socially awkward or displeasing, I encourage you to investigate Daisaku Ikeda. Also, check out sgilibrary.org if you are really interested in The Truth.
Why we tell little lies
When we learn to tell little lies (like telling someone who gave us a gift that we like it), I think the lesson we should take from that is to be respectful, not that it's okay to lie. I think it's true that telling the complete truth can sometimes hurt and come across as disrespectful. And I think the article is true that people who tell little lies from time to time tend to seem more positive, and that some little lies can become self-fulfilling truths. Thoughts can shape our feelings, so when we try to think/speak more positively, even if it's not truthful, we may feel better than if we always tell the complete truth.
My friend never lies ...
I have a friend whom I have never known to tell a lie in 25 years. However, when you ask him a question and he suspects the answer might hurt or upset you or feels it is none of your business, he simply doesn't answer. I can tell you that I, and others, find this quite disconcerting, primarily because this behavior is so different from what we've come to expect from others. Do you really want someone to tell you, "It's not the jeans that make your butt look fat."?
We're All Lying Liars: Why People Tell Lies, and why White Lies can be ok
Title: We're all lying liars: Why People Tell Lies, and Why White Lies can be ok
Author: Ulrich Baser - Posted May 18, 2009
Source: www.USNews.com
The claims that were made are: Positive biases about the self can be beneficial.
People who deceive themselves also tend to be happier than people who do not.
People who lie frequently are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts.
You can't stop lies entirely.
The claims does conflict with my personal observations, because I believe speaking the truth will make you free and telling lies will keep you in bondage.
The background that I have about the claims is when you tell one lie and forget, you have to tell another lie to cover up for the first lie you told. When you lie, you lose all credibility unto people.
In the article the expertise of the author is not listed, but in the article there is a lying expert mentioned by the name of Joe Navarro that says, "No one likes being lied to we feel betrayed."
The author is truly biased and untrustworthy on every category of religious, political, gender, age and racial.
Lies and Fib s
It is sad (but typical for the unsaved) that US News and World Report reporters project to the uneducated public-at-large, that it is (sometimes) okay to purposely lie or tell a fib to others. True friends?? Trustworthy?? Dangerous advice/suggestion! Such is not in accordance with the Holy Scriptures, specifically, 1 John 2:22; 1 Timothy 1:8-10; Revelation 21:8; 22:15.
lies
Anyway you look at it, lies are wrong. How can you trust someone or believe them at all when they lie to you.
