Narcissism Epidemic: Why There Are So Many Narcissists Now

narcissism, and the joy of giving.

I taught my young son the joy of giving, very early on. I told my son how happy that little one year old boy would be, if he were to give the baby his first matchbox car. My son really liked that matchbox car. But he bravely handed it over to the little boy. The joy on that one year old's face made my son very proud of himself for sharing. Now my son gives all kinds of stuff away to the less endowed. My problem? I give him a nice new coat, and he comes home with an old trashed coat. Older boys are into trading clothes a lot... The joy of giving is the total opposite of The pleasure in taking. It is the learning of that joy, that is missing in our culture. The pleasure in pleasing others versus "entitlement".

Oh! One more thing

Gee, isn't it narcissistic to keep hogging threads? Actually, it's the result of constantly being an "idea" person, so more stuff you thought up to say pops into your head after you've finished a post, already (so pardon the excess, but it's for a good cause). : )

One possible solution is to channel the upside of the trait constructively. We are now beginning to see this as more and more corporations (Enron excluded, of course!) engage in what's known as "corporate responsibility" in terms of non-money making causes.

Going Green is becoming more and more the "in" trend, hence entire brands are making over their product lines to include information about eco-friendly ingredients on the labels. Heck, I found a cleaner with a label that pointed out that NO animal testing went into the manufacture of this product (being an animal lover, this was wonderful to see).

So, the last point to add to these opinion post threads is that channeling the trait in constructive ways could do a lot of societal good. Want people to shop more? Make YOUR store the one that is donating a portion of the proceeds to The Humane Society, or to a cancer foundation. That's what gets people to do productive things with funds, to make it socially "in" or "cool" to do so.

Re-channel the trait if at all possible. It's cheaper than trying to force them into therapy.

Just to add

Proof that there's a healthy use of the trait?

Oprah Winfrey! She spends a lot of time helping others, but she splurges on herself, as well. It takes a healthy ego to always put your own face on the cover of your own magazine (as she's done), but it also takes selflessness to take time away from your media empire to stump for your state senator, who is running for high political office, or to start up a school for girls.

Also, the late Princess Diana was a complete shop-a-holic, always decked out in designer names, and yet she managed to invent a full-time job for herself doing lots of charity appearances, rather than just hang out in a palace far away from all of the harsh realities of the "real" world.

Don't knock the upside, just the downside.

Because the upside of the trait is actually beneficial, that's why

Re: "There are these great studies where you bring people into the lab and ask them questions, then ask them how confident they are in their answers. Then, they bet a certain amount of money based on how confident they are. Well, narcissists are always very, very confident, so in those situations, they end up losing a lot of money because they think they're smarter than they actually are."

Sounds like day trading. Isn't that also called GAMBLING?

That's what crashed the economy, that the downside of an otherwise adaptive trait (let's face it, but narcissism is partly behind most modern day innovation, as confident risk-takers tend to be more confident in taking risks that can often lead to successful outcomes. Much of advanced Western culture revolves around the frequent good use of the upside of this trait.

The downside, however, is what was not checked-and-balanced by reality, and we saw what happened with that.

I once had this wacky and zany Marxist for a course on international political economy in the past, and it was mentioned that current economic trends were unsustainable. Of course, this was quite correct (although I'm still not convinced that Marxism is the antidote to the free-market system's recent little trajectory right off the rails). Watching for the downside of the trait would probably help organizations from banks to government to corporate America. Clearly, the more adaptive upside does not need to be done away with (who else but a narcissist would shop-until-they-drop, thus sustaining the largely consumption-based economy during better economic times when there's disposable income to be spent?).

Anyone who has ever worked in sales knows that "Me" people are most likely to buy buy buy.

Abuse

I have a facial paralysis, and I spent my entire school years being obcessively told how inferior I am, and it didn't stop after high school.

If you don't believe your kids, or yourself, are not narcissists, you are absolutely dilusional. If you behave like a predator, talk like a predator and annihilate like a predator......then you're a narcisist, not a duck.

If you're out to get people just to make yourself feel better, welcome to the world of Dorian Gray....I bet a lot of you narcissists don't know who Dorian Gray is? I'm sure you'll lie.

Narcississt cause psychological damage to spouses, ex-spouses

This article is valuable in awakening its readers to the pervasive presence of narcissists in our livss today who are being handsomely rewarded for the very traits that cause so much emotional pain to others:ruthlessness, deception, manipulation, lack of empathy, exploitation, superiority, extreme self entitlement.

In my work with spouses and partners of narcissists, I am continually reminded of the severe psychological pain that the narcissistic personality inflicts on those closest to him/her:spouses,ex-spouses,children,siblings,friends.

Learning how to specifically identify the narcissistic personality disorder and mastering strategies for dealing with these complex individuals is essential for your psychological well being. My book "Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life" addresses these issues in detail and provides many examples of these personalities in action. You can avoid emotional entanglements with narcissists and move forward with the life that you deserve.

. . .

YVONNE BERRY, BEAUTIFULY SAID. VERY FULLFILLING.

Narcissism

I agree that we have never lived in more of a narcissistic time than the current.

Competing and winning seems to be the name of the game. I suggest some of these narcissists watch "Searching for Bobby Fisher." What we have to realize is that behind all of that smug and manipulative behavior is an extremely insecure person, but" they" will never admit it. Projection is a strong defense mechanism for these types. So if , by the grace of God, something life changing or threatening can happen to these persons and they hit the pavement with a loud splatt, then and only then, possibly, will the narcissist begin to wake up and be forced to account for the emotional mess he has made of the lives of others. Narcissism is a personality disorder in its true sense and is very difficult to treat. It is often coupled with covert depression in the form of rage or anger and can be seen in a person with bi-polar disorder. If however, the person closest to the narcissist, usually a mate of some sort, continues to be the co-dependent or enabler ( usually with a compliant, non-responsive personality), he can continue to weave his toxic web and genuinely harm the psyche of this person and family. What is truly needed with this personality is strong limits and boundaries making these persons accountable for their bad behavior towards others. Usually, they go away for awhile and then come back, whether it is with a job or a relationship and if the significant other can keep reinforcing proper boundaries to effect appropriate and loving behaviors, that would be the most positive thing she can do. Narcissists usually do not have close friends or significant others unless they are needed by the narcissist for something...what he dishes out he does get in return which renders him somewhat vulnerable. He has to have sources of narcissistic supply. Most persons in his life are acquaintances. He likes it that way then no one gets to know him too well, he stays in control and can be non-responsive to the need of others as well as lack commitment and then feels he cannot be held accountable. The majority of narcissists are male and usually their job or occupation is the only aspect of life that they will sacrifice for...certainly not for people. I say stay out of intimate relationships with these people, you will only end up getting hurt over and over again by the narcissist but he will claim he is the one being hurt by you and others when he does not get his way... For those who are less narcissistic than the DSM-IV definition, why not try the God, others and self last philosophy that a good Christian life has to offer. Our goal in life is to become less self-centered as we get older...check out the lives of Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., and the various saints. Read Dabrowski's theory of positive disintegration to find out what we as human beings are able to accomplish in this life. Enhance the dignity and respect of others by opening up your heart and acting upon it.

epidemic?

For a different point of view, see www.balancedpsych.com.

It's a little bit heavy on the scientific side, but the book itself describes the concepts in understandable detail.

Enjoy.

Narcissism

If you think about it narcissism can actually be a good thing because a narcissist will push harder in life to make something of it. If you think about it the world runs off looks and money, you can say whatever you want but we all know thats the truth. How many people could you trust if you had billions, none because humans are flawed natrually. Humans are flawed but thats what makes us interesting and fun. You can be a good hardworking person your whole life and still live a terribly, then you got paris Hilton who grew up into everything looks, power and money without doing a thing. Life is unfair and cruel so a narcissist plays the field, he or she is merely a product of their enviroment and therefore does'nt empathize with others because the relationship is flawed from the beggining.